Mozambique

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Mozambique:
-We wanted to walk to the bus station but hostel manager tells us that it is safe, but he never brings anything with him. He won’t even wear shoes and they still tackle him, hold him down, and search him for money. He says its fine because most of the time they apologize. This guy does not look like a prime target by any means; he is missing three of his front teeth, kind of looks like a meth head. We have a hard time explaining to him that it is difficult for us to explain to the thief that we do not have anything because we are going to Mozambique and will be carrying huge backpacks.

-So we opt for a cab and we call it on a pay phone, my minutes run out before completing the call, but 5 minutes later a brand new 5 series BMW shows up honking its horn.

-Get to the bus terminal and wait for 2 hours while the bus to Mozambique fills up, they will not leave until it is completely full.

-On the bus, the driver has one CD and it is Celine Dion, they love her in Africa. I am not sure why.

-The bus is a minibus with twice the number of people on it than there are seats. I am sitting on a wooden board and everyone is carrying lots of groceries for some odd reason.

-We get to the South Africa-Mozambique border and there are refugees just sitting in-between the two borders, tons of them.

-We arrive to Maputo, Mozambique and it looks like a bomb just blew up there. There are manholes everywhere, the streets are torn up as well as the sidewalks, and houses are crumbling, looks like a construction zone with no construction going on.

-Stay the night in a very dirty motel with bugs everywhere; wake up at 5am for the bus up north to Tofo (beach town). We get to the “bus station” which is just the side of the road and people are standing there with lots of mini buses, I say Tofo and then three guys starting playing tug of war with me to get onto their bus. The strongest man rips me free and puts me on his bus.

-Bus is jam-packed, we are the only white people on the bus, I fall asleep with 4 people in my row (of 3 seats) and I wake up and now there are six.

-Bus arrives 10 hours later in Imhamabe and guy helps us to another minibus to Tofo. This bus makes the other buses seem like dreams. I counted 30 people on a 14-seater bus. The guy next to Dan has a huge fish; everyone on the bus has a chicken in a cage. The lady in front of me has a huge bucket of live crabs and at one point we she spills it and seawater and crabs go everywhere. They begin to roll down towards me so the only thing I can think to do is lift my feet in the air, which remained in the air for the rest of the trip. There are no shocks on the bus so every time we hit a bump; everyone’s heads hit the ceiling. The back door of the bus is so full with stuff that it is roped closed even though it is halfway open. The sliding side door has only one hinge attached so there is a guy who has to hold it on the entire time. At one point the driver goes around a turn too fast and the guy flies out of the bus, dragging on the ground, but manages to hang on and pull himself and the door back into the bus. If all of this is not enough, I feel something wet dripping on my arm and I look over and the guy next to me has a cut on his arm and is dripping blood on me. He realizes this and wipes it off with his hand like nothing is the matter. I on the other hand am so petrified by the entire bus ride and now blood on me in a region where 35% of the people have AIDS. I am struggling to breath. But TIA (this is Africa).

-Tofo is an amazing place. Beautiful beaches, fine white sand, crystal clear water; water is bathtub warm, nice waves. Hostel is a huge straw hut with lots of beds and a cool bar. One night the hostel has a big party where all of the locals come and there is lots of African drumming followed by loud 80s music. There are no girls on the dance floor, only African men. Opposite of what I would expect at an American bar. One guy is so wasted that he keeps falling over and doing various kicks. He does a kick right between my friend Ida and me sitting at a table. Another guy is dancing while braiding a palm leaf, he must have had a thing for Dan because when he finished braiding it he ripped it in half and gave half to Dan. There is another guy running around pelvic thrusting all the other guys on the dance floor.

-Back in Maputo, we have to go to the American embassy to get Dan extra passport pages. I am excited because I think that it will be like going back home for a few hours. I am anticipating getting there and being like “oh it feels so good to be back in America.” Instead, we get there and not only are there no armed guards outside ready to kill anyone disrespecting our country, but there are no Americans working in the Embassy, only Mozambiquens who speak very little English.

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