stranded me in the forest

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the motorcycle is seeing no end of problems. yesterday it stranded me in the forest alone for three hours in the heat. i have half a mind to sell it here in vilankulo. if i can repair it today and leave tomorrow i should be ok to get to cape town by june 16 but we will see.

my mind is spinning, i am so busy with this hard type of travelling that there is never time to write or draw or take photos. photographs are so hard to take in africa because the people who live here trust you right up to the point that you take their photograph and then from there the trust is gone. it is like stealing. it feels like stealing from them. it is stealing in a way, this is their land and they are very proud of it, they are willing to have you see it but upon taking a photograph of it they show a clear disaproval. i make constant promises to begin recording in some way my memories of things and adventures that can't ever be captured physically for these reasons, but any thought at all of capturing this land in any way makes me cringe.

two fellows here, good mechanics, have explained to me that the bike will not reach cape town, it will not likely reach even the border. they suggest to sell it and will help to find a buyer. i can't stand the idea of surrender. the bike is my means of separating myself from the other foreigners. without the bike i would become nothing but a backpacker and i have something against backpackers. i will fix the bike today and i will ride it into the ground before i see it in the hands of another.

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