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Published: September 18th 2007
Cheeky cheetah
One of three cheetah who confidently strode past our car, en route to scaring off some baby zebra nearby Not to mention plenty of banditry, petty theft, and tourist rip-offs. But did I enjoy it? Goddamn, yes.
The journey from Addis to Nairobi was about as epic as they come. 1600-plus kilometres, by bus and truck, along crumbling roads, dusty bush tracks, and the occasional paved highway. It took two days just to get to the Ethio-Kenyan border, all on one bus, but with an overnight stop in the coffee-growing town of Dila. On the second day, the Ethiopian highlands gave way to dry savannah country, and all of a sudden everything looked East African - flat-topped acacia trees, baboons, hornbill birds, grass huts. At the border town of Moyale, I enjoyed dinner in a hotel which had a pet baboon and two gazelles, one of which helped me eat my spaghetti. I also stayed in hotel that doubled as a brothel, but this is no strange thing in Ethiopia - every hotel seems to double as a brothel.
Moyale is a weird place, so far from either Addis or Nairobi that it feels like it is
Gnu-uve over!
A wildebeest blocks our path in the Masai Mara nowhere. Somali refugees brush shoulders with Kenyan touts and Ethiopian truckies. Despite this Wild West atmosphere, the town is surprisingly laid-back, and the border crossing pretty relaxed. On the Kenyan side is a big sign advising travellers to not pay any bribes to any officials; this doesn't seem to prevent them asking, however. At my very first checkpoint, 500 metres out of town, a gun-toting soldier clambered aboard our truck to check my passport, and then demanded a 100 Shilling 'passport fee'. Now, I have never, in all my life, had to pay a passport fee. I told him as much, making sure I kept smiling as I did so. After three minutes of discussion, he said, 'So you will not pay?'. I confirmed this. He smiled back, and said, 'No problem'. Just trying it on.
Corruption is a way of life over here in Kenya. As you read this, former President Daniel arap Moi (1978-2002) is under investigation for skimming BILLIONS of dollars from governemnt projects and dodgy gold deals. At every police checkpoint we crossed in northern Kenya (about 12 of them) the driver or a passenger would slip a few hundred shillings to one of the
Mother and child
A baby elephant waves at us, as mummy eats her dinner, Masai Mara, Kenya cops to turn a blind eye to some infraction. The most blatant - and annoying - example I have seen, occurred during the bus trip from Isiolo to Nairobi, just an hour outside the capital. A large group of police flagged our bus off the highway, and asked the driver to cough up 10,000 Shillings (about A$200). When he declined to pay, they got us all off the bus, made us wait in the midday heat for TWO BLOODY HOURS and then did a full mechanical test on the bus, driving it up and down the road to ascertain whether it was working alright. It was. Bizarrely, some journalists from the Kenya Broadcasting Corporation got wind of this dodgy police business, and arrived on the scene to film the entire thing. After the road test, they came at me with their camera, and asked me what I thought of the whole affair. I was only on my third day in Kenya, and not quite game to badmouth the armed cops standing a few metres away on national television, so I 'no commented'. But a few of the passengers, including one feisty woman, let fly about how much the whole thing
Zebra
Two Common Zebra. You see a lot of these in Kenya... stank. I realised then that not everyone in Africa silently puts up with such shenannigans. But how do you stop it? Even with the journos there, the cops continued their silly game of making life difficult for people unless they coughed up some cash. Corruption, especially in East Africa, is a major inhibitor of international investment, and economic development, and good governance. Whether it is a symptom of this region's politico-economic malaise, or a cause of it (probably both), I can safely say it is frustrating as all hell.
Anyway, back to the journey through Kenya. From Moyale, there is no official transport south - just the trucks that leave for Nairobi every morning. You can very easily arrange a ride on one of these vehicles for around $15, which gets you a spot on top of a rice sack in the tray for the 16-hour hell ride to Isiolo. The road is awful for three reasons - there are heaps of police roadblocks, there are marauding bands of shifta (bandits) who terrorise the trucks, and the road is really no more than a dirt track. To minimise the chances of getting held up, the trucks travel in convoy,
Vervet monkey
One of the monkeys that lived in our campsite at Masai Mara and every now and again a couple of armed soldiers jump up into the tray as an escort through the most dodgy stretches. Still, I didn't know what scared me most - the chance of being robbed by a bunch of shifta, or the soldier who clumsily clambered aboard our vehicle, accidentally sticking the muzzle of his machine-gun into one poor woman's face.
The ride was long, dusty, slow and uncomfortable. We didn't see any shifta, but the trip was enlivened by the occasional view of a stately, long-horned antelope standing atop a rock, observing our progress through the savannah. That was as exciting as the wildlife got in northern Kenya, I'm afraid, but it was more than enough for me - real, wild antelope! - and a nice precursor to the safari I did a few days later.
To book said safari, I was forced to enter the decidedly dodgy city limits of Nairobi, Kenya's capital and East Africa's most notorious city for violent crime. I was in ultra-paranoid mode in the metropolis. I had my camera uncer my shirt, my money-belt under my jeans, and my bags clutched tight to my body. Straight into a taxi,
Giraffe and her young
Three giraffe we surprised by the roadside, near the Masai Mara reserve straight to the safari company, and then an escort down to the ATm to get the cash for the trip. I even stayed in the dorm at the company's office. However, on my second day, and with no bags to encumber me, i felt a little more confident, and I did venture out for a few hours. And i was surprised at what I saw: a modern, buzzing city, with supermarkets, and guys in suits, and fast-food joints. hardly hell on earth. I wandered for three hours and didn't get mugged. True, I didn't go to the notorious east side of town, but I did see a side of Nairobbery that I liked.
I left the city on Friday for a 4-day safari around Lake Nakuru and the famous Masai Mara. This is a prety standard jaunt in Kenya, and you see any number of converted Nissan Urvans darting around the savannah to see the various game reserves here. Nakuru is good becuase it is fairly close to Nairobi, and has a bit of everything (except elephants) in a tiny scrap of land. We drove for three hours and saw lions, rhino, a buttload of flamingo, any number of
In the jungle...
Two lions enjoy a mid-morning snooze baboons, zebra and antelope, and giraffe. The highlight, though, was watching a Spotted Hyena chase and kill a pink flamingo. Cruel entertainment, I know, but that's nature for you.
On our way from Nakuru, we passed through a village where everyone seemed strangely agitated. Men and women were running out of hotels, bars and houses, and making their way along the highway any which way they could. Puzzled, we followed one minibus with people hanging off the back. A kilometre up the road, a beer truck was stalled, with one door ripped off, and crates of beer everywhere. Armed soldiers were desperately trying to keep order, but the crowds of guys running off with green bottles under their arms showed that the looters had done their job. Looting a stranded beer truck- one of those universal activities of humanity, I think.
Our main safari was in the Masai Mara, or 'Masai Plains', a 1500-sq km game reserve about 250kms southwest of Nairobi. This is one of those rare places on earth where animals still roam around like they did before we humans had a say in things. You can drive just a few metres into the park, and
Elephants!
A herd of elephant we found by the road, on the way to Masai Mara. The big bull at the front is blowing dust around to try and show us who's boss. It's him, of course. be greeted by a massive herd of wildebeest, or zebra, or a family of jackals. The place defies description. We did one humungous 10-hour game drive, and saw everything: majestic elephants, sleeping lions, strutting cheetah, gawky ostrich, lazing hippo, angry buffalo, ugly wildebeest, grazing zebra, lanky giraffe, plus any number of antelope and small mammals. We arrived a day after the famous wildebeest migration across the Mara river, and saw the aftermath - hundreds of bloated gnu carcasses bobbing in the river, so many that even the crocs and vultures were no longer interested.
Final word on the Mara - it was absolutely fantastic, and I would thoroughly recommend it to everyone as something to do before you die.
And that was it, really, for Kenya. I went back to Nairobi, and then it was straight onto a bus to Uganda. A fleeting visit, but an enjoyable one. Despite all of its shortcomings, and its unenviable reputation, Kenya is a very fun place to visit, and the Kenyan people are justifiably proud and satisfied with their hunk of grassland, mountains and beach. But most of all those amazing animals that they, somehow, have managed to preserve, when the
...the lion sleeps tonight...
The same two lions, in black and white rest of us have gotten rid of ours.
Tom's Top Six of Ethiopia
1. The food. No, I'm not having a laugh. Ethiopia has a unique, and often tasty (and sometimes bizarre) national cuisine. There is the fermented flat bread, injera, that accompanies everything; wat, or stew, which can comes as kai (hot), doro (chicken), or a variety of others; dulut, which is intestines (I didn't try this one); tibs, or fried mince; and kitfo, which is basically uncooked tibs. I finally tried kitfo on my last night in Addis. It smelled like parmesan and tasted like you'd expect raw mince meat to taste. My vote still goes to kai wat. Cooked and tasty.
2. The coffee. I didn't know until I got here that coffee is supposed to have originated in Ethiopia. They grow it here, and they brew it up a treat on ancient espresso machines that look like they were left by the fascists in the 1940s. A glass of strong black coffee will set you back about 20 cents in one of the many cafes scattered around each town.
3. The Ethiopian people. Apart from a few bad eggs, such as the
Giraffe
Mummy giraffe and her two kids beggar who attacked me, and just about any of the many skulkers who sidle up to you and try to seperate you from your tourist dollars, the locals are a great bunch. Poor as can be in a material sense, but they always have time for a chat, a coffee, or a chance to welcome you to their country - 'So, how do you feel about Ethiopia?'
4. Tis Abay. 'The Smoke of the Nile', the gigantic waterfalls near Bahar Dar, where the Blue Nile crashes over the escarpement on its journey towards Egypt. Absolutely stunning in the wet season.
5. Bahar Dar. Of the few towns I visited in Ethiopia, this was my favourite. A laid-back vibe, warmer weather, a beautiful location on the shores of Lake Tana, and some fantastic bars where you can grab a cheap draught beer and meet the locals.
6. The Missionaries of Charity compound in Gondar. No, I'm not a Catholic, but I like this place because I worked there for a week and met some great guys and gals, all with different sad stories to tell, who welcomed me like an old friend, and made my trip to Ethiopia
Flamingo
Part of the vast flock of feeding flamingo on Lake Nakuru more than worth it.
Tom's Bottom Three of Ethiopia
1. Ethiopian time. The folks here are in a different temporal zone from us altogether. Not only are they celebrating the Millennium here this month (they are seven years behind the rest of the world, still on the Julian calendar), but they also use a different time system, six hours removed from ours. So, when it is midday 'our' time, it is six o'clock Ethiopian time. It gets very confusing. You ask for the time of a bus, and you are told, '10 o'clock'. But they might mean four o'clock 'our' time. And on top of
that, everything here takes ten times longer than it should. Just as an example: bus durations are given in days, not hours. Take plenty of good books.
2. Addis Ababa. Plenty going on, and lots of gum trees around, but overall its a shabby, expensive, and dirty place, full of scamming types and smoke-belching vehicles. Cool name, though.
3. Mad beggars. Especially the one who jumped on me in Bahar Dar and punched me in the head. I concede that it was probably a one-off and had nothing to do with Ethiopia.
Buffalo
The meanest of the Big Five, and most likely to charge your car if you get too close... ***
Africa Country Count: 10
Ethiopia Overland Kilometre Count: 2280km
Africa Overland Kilometre Count: 19,355km
Next Country: Kenya ****
Tom's Top Four of Kenya
1. The Masai Mara game reserve. Where else on earth can you see wild leopards, cheetah, lions, rhino, elephants....etc...
2. Lake Nakuru National Park. A lot smaller than the Mara, but there's a lot of wildlife crammed into that small reserve. And we even got to see a hyena chase and kill a flamingo!
3. Tusker beer. Kenya's national tipple, and supposedly named after the large bull elephant that killed one of the brewery's founders. Only in Kenya...
4. Seeing cheetah. My favourite animal since I was a littlun, and to see them wild...wow.
Tom's Bottom Three of Kenya
1. The corruption. The first place in Africa where I've had my bus stopped just because the cops wanted some cash. it can't do much for the nation's economic efficiency.
2. Nairobi. Try as I did to like the place (and there are some cool shops and restaurants), the fact that you are restricted to about three city blocks, in daylight hours only,
Nakuru flamingo
A few members of the flamingo flock at Lake Nakuru, Kenya due to the crime, is something of a turnoff.
3. Tourist prices. Thirty years of mass tourism has had its effect on how Kenyans see tourists. Mostly, they see gigantic, camera-toting, fleshy piles of hard currency. They do their best to seperate you from it too. Despite this, Kenyans are still an immensely likeable bunch, once you're past the transacting-of-money stage.
*****
Africa Country Count: 11
Kenya Overland Kilometre Count: 1825km
Africa Overland Kilometre Count: 21,170km
Next Country: Uganda
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Callie
non-member comment
Fantastic
Tom, you have such an enthralling writing style that I can't seem to stop reading your blogs. Great work on presenting the realistic side of traveling in Africa, but still making it sound like the adventure of a lifetime. Cheers, and please keep it up for those of us bunkered down at home wishing we were not! Callie