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Published: October 20th 2012
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Ash-wee!!!! My longest running and highly cherished friend and I greeted at the Nairobi airport, just 6 months apart in age we had grown up together, it had now been 3 years since we last seen one another. Through many giggles and just as many cuddles we managed to locate a taxi.
Africa.
Travelling together had been a lifelong discussion and Africa the destination we had been impatiently waiting for over the past 7 months, but we were finally here.
I was waiting at the airport, call me raciest, over cautious or perhaps aware, but I honestly thought every ‘local’ was going to pickpocket, mug and/ or rape me.
After not being mugged and/or raped we arrived to our camp site where we would spend our first 2 nights before joining another 16 adults to safari over 52 days to arrive in Cape Town.
I had booked (in true Catherine style) the budget room, complete with mildew and no ventilation. Ash (in true Ash style) had upgraded without my knowledge to the garden tent: Glamping style. I have to admit, the tent was beautiful, complete with a glorious Queen bed, cascading nets and soft lighting… unfortunately
it was shared with another Queen so not your standard romantic getaway.
As we only had one free day in Kenya (we were to head directly to Tanzania on our first Safari day) we organised a Nairobi day tour with an American travelling couple, Andrew and Danielle, who were originally from Ghana. After I insulted Andrew by presuming he was my taxi driver (racist!!!) we we drove to the Elephant orphanage to dote of 2 month old calf’s.
The highlight of the journey was certainly the giraffes. We visited the sanctuary then a wild life park where we were lucky enough to actually play with the graceful giant. Words simply cannot describe the feeling of tom fooling about with such a creature. I would hold out my hand and grab at his long slimy tongue repeatedly as he poked it out, if he could of laughed, I believed he would have joined me.
We bid farewell to Kenya and welcomed our new tour group who had been together already for a week, we hit the road for 8 hours to reach our destination in Tanzania.
For those who know me, you are aware of the fact
that I have a restrictive bladder, the fact that I also down a good 3 litres of water a day fails to help my situation, these two facts combined with a bumpy bus ride and toilets stops far and few between spells disaster.
Before I left for Africa, I researched by means of past travellers, what essential items should I take to Africa. Time and time again 2 crucial items were mentioned;
1. Head torch
2. SheWee
… SheWee??? If you are like me than you had never heard of such a thing, let me educate you.
The SheWee is a funnel that is held against the females groin to that she can urinate standing without pulling down her pants.
Without going into too much of the female anatomy, where exactly a female pee’s from is not as obvious as in a male. Also, what the SheWee lacks is the control of pressure coming from the funnel. This means either the funnel is held at the wrong angle while some pee will flow in to the funnel, the rest runs down your leg… or, the top half of the funnel fills too quickly to drain from the bottom end, resulting in once again pee running down your leg.
BOTH of these possibilities happened to me on the first day.
Yes, essentially I peed my pants, not once, but twice in front of 16 people. And let me assure you, this was no slight spill, most unfortunately half of my bladder contents soaked into my pants.
If you can picture me standing with my back to 16 people as I start to wiggle uncomfortably trying foolishly to move away from what was happening. I finished in bewilderment and humiliation at my situation which lacked running water and a full day’s journey ahead in 40 degree heat.
Not one of my finer moments in life, though I must admit I have had worse.
Strangely, no one sat next to me on the bus.
Fail.
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