"What's That Skippy? Australia Have Lost The Ashes?"

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It was a pretty welcoming “Hello” from the Egyptian border guards. I could not wipe the smile off my face, this is one of the big places I have wanted to go. Now I am here I need to get to Dahab. Easier said than done!

I decide to get a minibus but I have to wait for it to fill up, I spent that hour sitting under a tree next to the border guard hut, once it was full we were off to the police control hut. They wanted 35 Egyptian pounds just to say hello to another bunch of foreigners who will spend lots of money in there country. Another tax they could have stuck on the price of the visa.

Once in Dahab it was a short walk to my hotel, the Penguin Hotel. It seems alright. Off for a walk along the promenade, I could easily spend a few weeks here if this wasn’t Egypt. There is so much more to Egypt than sunbathing and diving. I found a bar with the cricket on, superb! So I settle in and start to watch, but it soon starts to rain, at The Oval that is, not here. I go off exploring the town a little more and go back to the bar and watch the 4th days cricket end with bad light. It’s all down to the wire!

Back to my hotel for a salt water shower and a change of clothes. I found a nice beach bar near my hotel, met a Danish guy called Henry, He could be the most drunk person in Egypt at the moment, no chance of catching up, I decide to cut my losses by going to bed.

Next morning I was off to the blue hole, not a strip joint but a world class diving spot just north of Dahab. No diving for me though, just a bit of snorkeling. The ride there by 4x4 was quite cool, the driver had obviously done this before. Once there, it was time to pick up my mask and flippers and then into the Red Sea.

As soon as I put my head underwater I was surrounded by hundreds of fish. More than I had ever seen underwater before. Superb. I must have swum around for over a hour checking out every nook and cranny. I got out and had a sit down in the fly ridden restaurant, which our driver had settled in. Nothing to do here apart from swatting flies and worry about the cricket. So I jump back in the water for a bit longer to clear my mind.

Once everyone was ready to go back, we did. I dropped my stuff off at the hotel and headed straight to the cricket bar. It was packed, more Aussies than English, but I didn’t care, this was it, all or nothing. As I walked in it was 199 for 6, shit, got a beer, just about to sit down and Jones’ stumps go flying, shit shit. The Aussies are on course for the draw. I sit on the wooden stairs right opposite the TV and hope for something special. Kevin Pietersen was just that. A Aussie guy could not go on about him not being English enough. Tosser.

England stay in for a while, and then Australia come into bat and then the glorious overcast sky’s of London kill any small chance the Aussie have. VICTORY!! Most of the Aussies in the pub had left ages ago leaving us English to cheer and applaud our boys on their lap on honour. I left the pub to breath in the air of success. And then to call my Dad, who was at the match. Lucky git. He sounded just as drunk and happy as I was, even though he has a soft spot for the Australian cricket team. He passed the phone a few of the others who were there. Bastards! If I had been in England there would have been a good chance of me being there too. Never mind, Dahab is not a bad second best. That night was spent drinking some more with the other drunk and proud Englishmen and women.

Next morning I had no hangover, lucky me! And I left Dahab for Sharm El Sheik, so I could catch the afternoon ferry to Hurghada. The bus was running on Egypt time, but I didn’t care too much, I was still smiling about the cricket.

Once at Sharm El Sheik bus station it was a 20 Egyptian Pound to the port, looks quite empty, the ferry is not running until tomorrow morning. Bollocks. So I have to get another cab to Sharm’s only budget hotel, the youth hostel. It wasn’t that faraway, but I didn’t fancy a walk with my backpack in the midday heat. The taxi driver wanted to charge me 50 Egyptian, “Total Bollocks” was my reply. I offered him 5 Egyptian, he wouldn’t come any lower, so I picked up my bag out of the boot and threw the 5 pound in his boot. He ran up to me and started cursing, picked up the money and started to rip it up. “That’s your money!” I told him whilst he was stamping on it and kicking the curb. Tosser, As he wouldn’t come down in price, I was not going to go up, especially for a cab ride which was less then a tenth of the distance that I took from the bus station to the port.

The youth hostel looked more like a 5 star hotel than a crappy fleapit, it wasn’t a surprise either full when I asked for a bed. The only other option was a 3 star hotel down the road, 14 Pounds a night but I did have a pool, aircon, breakfast, dinner, satellite TV all to myself. The shower was rubbish though, no hot water and no flow, plus the tea and coffee making facilities could have been a lot better!

Time for a walk around town, what town? It’s just hotels and hotels, rubbish. I get another cab and ask the driver for the town center, he finds it and all it is are some bazaars and café’s, awful, nothing to do at all. I go back to the hotel and try the swimming pool and just stay in my room watching TV until dinner then go back and go to bed early.

The ferry was in port in the morning, thank god, I couldn’t last another day here. It was a pretty fast boat, so I was in Hurghada in no time. Once across the red sea it was straight on a minibus to the old part of town. Every time the driver put his breaks on “It’s a small world” came on over the engine noise. In Syria it was “The Lambada” whenever a taxi reversed.

Before I could go to my hotel, the driver insisted that I have a look in his mate’s shop, whilst having my backpack on plus my small backpack over my shoulder. I told him I wanted to get to my hotel and that might knock some things over. He still wanted me to come in, I then tried with “I have no money” so he told me to go. On the way out, as predicted, I knocked over a sheesha with my backpack, which caused it to fall apart, not break. “I warned you didn’t I” he wanted me to pay for the damage. Bollocks was my reply and I left the shop, yay, I have only been here for 5 minutes and already made a enemy!

The hotel was just around the corner, the St. George Hotel, not bad, very friendly owner who every time I saw him when I left the hotel he asked me to find Jesus. Ok……

This place is real tourist trap Egypt, every shop sells real authentic tat. And every shopkeeper will come out of the shop flying towards you with “Hello my friend. You speak English? I have a brother in London. Lovely Jubbly. Look in my shop. Special price for you” Very very annoying. Could it be a new friendship in a foreign country? Rubbish! It’s really, “Hey sucker, buy my crap for 10 times what’s its worth”. I sort out a snorkeling trip for the next day, to help with avoiding them tomorrow.

I got picked up early from my hotel the next morning for my boat trip, with a busload of people. The snorkeling was pretty good, shame about the rest of it, pretty dull and no fun on your own. I couldn’t wait to get back to port, when we did get back our captain could not park his boat, as there was no space. 30 minutes later I am back on dry land. The minibus driver didn’t know where my hotel was, so I had to direct him. He also had the cheek to ask for a tip. You can imagine what 2 words I replied with!

Back at the hotel for a shower and a change, then I went to the bus station to sort out my ticket for Luxor tomorrow. I can get it on the bus, oh well, it just isn’t my day. I walked back into town a different route, where most of the real locals were. The ones saying “Hello” now were genuine. Most of them were kids but it was nice to actually have someone saying hello without thinking of you as a walking cashpoint. Time for some dinner, I had a really nice chili with rice. I stayed in that restaurant to see what champions league match they were going to put on, they put on Manchester United, bye! Had a look around to see if The Arsenal was on anywhere, nope. So I listened to it off the net. We win 2-1, just. Thank God for God.

Next day was the bus to Luxor day. The bus was supposed to turn up at 10, it didn’t arrive until 11.45. That’s just Hurghada winding me one last time before I leave!

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Photos

Dahab
Even the cats do nothing but sleep all day here.

Welcome To Egypt
On the Red Sea. Which isn't red.