Hello JMZ89 😊
I don't think it necessarily needs to be 'life vs love', but at your age I think the more important need is to find out who you are and what you want to do with your life, and that should be what your girlfriend is currently focusing on in her life too. A lot of relationships end when people are 28 years old, mostly because they have not given themselves enough space in their 20s, and at 28 go through a crisis.
I am quite independent and the need to explore and feel like I'm really "living" runs in my veins.
And, that is how it should be at your age. There is nothing wrong with enjoying your relationship, as long as you both have some independence from it.
I don't know if the following is reading too much into the situation or not, but one thing I noted about your relationship is the perfection you describe, and then the abandonment your girlfriend feels when you are away. I kinda wonder if she may be sacrificing too much of herself, to make the relationship perfect? Seems to me that she could become a bit happier, if she would become a bit more ''selfish'', and consider her own needs, rather than putting herself under pressure to make a perfect relationship, in order to be loved, or so you won't want to be away from her. Also, I am sure you are not perfect as she says you are, and is she being a bit manipulative, by saying you are, and pretty much threatening to take this perfect status away from you, if you don't do what she wants. Well, this is just my guess, and you are the one in the relationship, so will need to look at it, and figure out if what I said is true or not.
If I lose her I'll never have as good a partner.
You could get as good a partner, even if it is not her. There is more than one mr/ms right for everybody.
What would you do?
I would insist on some space to live my life, at the age you are at. I am not saying you should do the following, but what I would do is reduce contact, and even consider breaking up if somebody would not respect my need to live my life independently at 24 years old, because I have no commitments such as children. I'd also suggest to her that she thinks up some things she wants to add to her life, that have not to do with the relationship and then she should go ahead and start with them, and keep doing them no matter what the relationship status is.
And be incredibly happy.
You might also be buying a bit too much into this idea that there is a perfect relationship. Already, before you even start, you won't be as incredibly happy as you say, because you are sacrificing your needs for what you say is a perfect relationship. This perfect relationship where you are both incredibly happy because neither of you needs anything else in your lives will soon fade, and if you are honest with yourselves rather than keeping up a pretence it will have died of boredom after a number of years.
I picture myself 5 years from now and feel like I will regret both options.
You will lose and gain way more than this in your lifetime. That is what it means to live your life. The only way you will end up not gaining anymore, is if you don't recover from your losses in life.
Mel
Reply to this