Travelling with your.......mother??

I have a kind of surplus of airline tickets thanks to relationship dramas and mentioned today to my mum who was having a coffee with me and i half jokingly said you may as well come mum....to my suprise she agreed!

So now..Id love some suggestions from anyone about altering travel style to suit your parents LOL!. I was either going to flip a coin and go on from Manado (I have tickets that far) and either head to West Papua or Palau Weh but mum does not dive. She loves the ocean and is very very fit and ultracool (shes 66 and loves going to see U2 etc in concert and is probably way fitter than I am) so its not a matter of finding somewhere flat with easy access more...should i not throw her in at the deep end? She also would kind of like electricity and food and probably aircon and running water. Ive thought about Tomohon and Lembeh and just staying in Sulawesi in relative in touch with the world type hotels and doing just a couple of days diving as she likes swimming but cant snorkel due to ear problems.

Or ive thought about somewhere like heaven forbid the Gilis that are set up for mothers where I can still get a dive in or spending some time again in sulawesi just time dedicated to land not under the sea.

Anyone ever travelled with their mother before? Reply to this

Definitely in at the deep end!

In 2001 I travelled with my mother in Guatemala and Mexico for 3 weeks - she enjoyed this experience so much she came out to Bolivia and Peru to meet me later in the year.

The next time she sought to exploit me further by bringing a friend and I guided them around Malawi in 2003, then southern India in 2005, again for three-weeks at a time. The last time being western Canada in 2010, but then we had a much larger entourage.

Anyway, here is a quote from a blog I wrote back in 2005 which I think encapsulates the experience rather well.

This will be the fourth time my mother has visited me on my travels, and if everything goes to plan she'll experience three weeks of adventure and I'll experience three weeks of pampered leisure.
Isn't relativity sublime?

Of course this is all relative and should be assessed on a mother-by-mother basis.

I've also travelled with two separate mother-in-laws, and cannot recommend this experience as highly.

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Thus you would need to decide what is the comfort level of where you are going - if someone is not happy with their hotel surrounds, it is hard to enjoy anything. Maybe choose a place that offers massages and such treatments, they can keep people occupied for hours whilst you are off diving.

We agree with Shane on this, you definitely need to figure out what your Mum is comfy with and decide from there. Has your Mum travelled much in Asia before or will this be her first time?

My parents (Donna's) are about to fly out to meet us in Thailand (this will be their 5th time in SE Asia to see us) and we do spend a lot of time planning our time with them. They are fit and healthy in their mid-50's etc but they just aren't used to travelling how we do, so we always need to plan the 'easy' way of doing things - to them though it's still tough travelling as they just aren't used to it.

What we usually do for my parents is put together a pros and cons list of 3 different places we think they will like and then they choose from the places we have put together. Whether throwing your Mum in at the deep end is a good idea....only you know that! Personally, if we were in that situation we would probably test the waters and go somewhere easier first like the Gillis and then see if she wanted more remote/more luxurious for her next time away!

If you did decide to go in at the deep end, you would probably need to travel slower than you usually did with a couple more overnight stops in between - this is speaking from experience from both my parents and our friend from the UK visiting. When you are used to travelling you kind of get used to the journeys and they shock newbies! Reply to this

Cindy--- go for it!

While my mother was alive I traveled with her frequently. I'd start with a frank conversation with your mom and find out what she is interested in. (sounds like she has begun those conversations).

I loved traveling with my mother. She has not traveled much is it was wonderful to see the world through her eyes. It truly enhanced the travel for me. We got to know each other on a different level. She told lots of stories I had not heard before and I cherish those moments.

As others have pointed out you may need different amenities for her and that is ok.
Having a pool will not hurt you!



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This is quite an apt forum topic for both Chris and I, because as I sit writing, not our mothers but our FATHERS are sat together on a plane to meet us in Kathmandu tomorrow! We wont sleep tonight we're so excited!!

I've been fortunate enough to have my Dad visit me in Korea as we worked there, and also he traveled with us for three weeks in Vietnam recently. Travelling was all the better for having him with us, it made those things that have become a little ordinary exciting again. I'm very lucky that my old man (who isn't old at all, but still young turning 50 this year) is a very active chap, hiking in the Lake District every weekend. To celebrate his fifth decade he is even going Glacier walking in Iceland. I couldn't be happier for him that he's finally got the opportunity to travel now that we are "grow up". He's even set up his own blog and induldged in a DSLR!!

We also travelled to China with Chris' parents last year and it was excellent. They brought a good sense of humour and interest to everything we did. They also spoilt us rotten and it was the first time we'd seen our parents for a year.

So, I'd fully recommend travelling with your folks, it brings you even closer in a way! I'm hoping I can tempt my Mum some day soon, but I think it will be more weekend breaks in Europe.

Cindy, I hope both you and your mother enjoy Indonesia. I imagine Tana Toraja will be a great experience for both of you, as it was for us.

Happy travels! Reply to this

Chris and Amy hope you are having a fantastic time with your fathers - how lovely for you both 😊

Merry Jo..The Trip Planning..well if my dear sister will stop telling my mother I stay in backpackers hotels (I do NOT! LOL!) and in her 5 months as a travel agent she has never heard anyone want to go to Sulawesi other than me...we are making a bit of progress. Sister seems to be trying to convince mum to just have a week shopping and lazing by the pool in bali (the extent of my sisters travels other than a 3 day conference in Beijing) - and she hasnt read any of my travelblogs so god forbid if she had!

Mum is keen to go somewhere other than nightclub, restaurant, shops, nightclub, pool at hotel. Ive shown her Tana Toraja and she is genuinely interested in going and really wants to go to a butterfly reserve just out of Makassar so ive just told her to ignore my sister although i do understand sis may be just being ..well.. a big sister.

Why am I always in trouble with someone for something??

I find it interesting to see my sister so negative about Sulawesi..perhaps its a sign of the gulf between mass market holiday package travel agency workers and independant travellers in terms of what we want to see and do.

Chris, Amy I know you guys are busy and bet you are loving having your Dads with you but would you (or anyone else) have an opinion on the flight from Makassar to Tana Toraja? Im thinking of flying mum up there for a few days to rather than a ten hour bus trip...having said that...bus one way flight the other is not out of the question.

And MJ - heh! I think a blog bit from mum would be hilarious...she even made sure that i would be taking the IPad so she could keep in touch..a 66 year old facebook junkie with a penchant for rock concerts in Sulawesi..has a bit of a ring to it doesnt it?

Ohh and Tam we have spoken about that...if we end up just doing south sulawesi (ive already paid for those tickets anyway will just cop it sweet and lose the ones to manado from makassar) ive found an archipeligo i can dive and we have agreed on diving is good but not everyday. She is happy to spend a day here and there waiting for me to come up but would rather not I dive everyday..which i have no intention of doing. Im actually really looking forward to having this one time as grown ups holidaying together alone...I need her to see my world so she understands why i live to explore. I want this to actually be a me and mum trip and its not like its been a year since ive gone diving :D


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I traveled some years ago with my mother and we spent great time in Lituania 😊
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Just me and my mother alone would be a hard one, it would have to be a short trip lolz, although she is good fun at a party. We are trying to get my parents to meet us at Gallipoli for ANZAC day though this year. Looks like we will make this special trip for Australians with Georgia being so close. Reply to this

Sighhh...this is becoming more difficult than I imagined due to my dear sister the travel agent....I took a look at what I could reasonably expect mum to put up with during a very short trip and what she wanted and at present am thinking of Bangka Belitung islands because mum wants to just chill on a beach. While I love sulawesi the logistics of moving around are difficult whereas Bangka Belitung has a direct flight from Jakarta which was another plus.

The biggest obstacle at the moment is my sister the travel agent (mass tourism well known world wide wallmart of travel type company) who has been in the industry a few months and is a regular bali goer..that other than the china business trip is the extent of her travels.

Having a family dinner tonight she vehemently went on the attack on independant travel..apparently i do not have enough experience travelling to know how to handle myself let alone other people overseas, independant travellers spend thousands more than people who sensibly book via a travel agency who can get the best deals, independant travels are fools to think they would know how to get the best out of a destination because...travel agencies use experienced tour operators who are in the destination regularly and know the local tips....ahmmmmm??????????? Oh and independant travellers are 50%!m(MISSING)ore likely to end up in overseas hospitals (I do not know where she got this stat..she read it somewhere).

She is completely focused on forcing me to book an organised tour with some pick your brochure off the wall and let them take care of everything from visas to restaurants for mum. She provided us with an example of a woman who backpacked by herself all over the world and then joined a travel agency and went on an organised tour to south america and found out the history of the louvre and colliseum (?) which she would never have known without a local guide telling her all this....i tend to research where i am going and work out what I want to see and am rather capable of finding things myself..so far I havent got hopelessly lost and had to ring home for help getting me out of the wilds of papua new guinea but apparently none of this counts.

Off to read your blog now Mel - I spoke to a friend of mum and dads who has spent a lot of time repeatedly travelling through sumatra and into banda aceh who has said that the police generally leave tourists alone though he has had a couple of run ins with them over a) trying to book one room for his two neices who were accused of being lesbians and b) walking along a street with his arm around his wife who was in the early stages of cancer on their last trip before she got too sick one day when she was feeling ill. Apparently supporting her while they walked was seen as violating morality. He is in his 60s so not the tattoo'd me :-)

The doco I watched was on SBS - I cant find it in its entireity but heres an piece that was in the doco &feature=related

I think there needs to be a new law introduced to force travel agents to travel and not look at everything from a dollar viewpoint. God forbid if the whole world wanted to be spoonfed and led by the hand through life 😉

*Mel just read your blog - love the dens of inequity..could see myself there!! Mum on the other hand might be happier lying on the beach or having a massage far from the maddening crowds 😊




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independant travellers spend thousands more than people who sensibly book via a travel agency who can get the best deals

Utter crap! In fact it is the other way - I can compare journeys that work colleagues of mine have used when travelling to Egypt and India and hearing their cost when compared to mine. In both cases, I did both places far cheaper. In the Egyptian example, I spent as much in four weeks as my work colleague did in under two weeks - plus I travelled to more places and saw more in each place.

Just grab a tour group brochure for India, China or Africa - or even better - on Southern Asia and see the prices. Then check websites and find prices for hotels and budget airline airfares. Put simply most tour agencies charge first world prices for third world destinations - especially those not based in the country of destination as they have high overheads incurred by operating from first-world countries.

I think the only place that may apply is possibly Europe, but the difference is not thousands, it is marginal.

As for that study, it may be true - but I would check the demographics of the people who succumb to accidents, and I suspect there would be a large spike in the late teen and early twenties age group - something that is not relevant to you or your mother.

I could write thousands of words dismissing each of these arguments, but I have my next blog to finish, and my energies are needed there. Reply to this