To Go or Not

Hi I am new on here, but need some advice. I am planning to do a 6 month trip around the world in September this year. I did a 7 month trip back in 2004. The trouble is my daughter who is 25 married with a son who is 2. When I intially told her about my plans she was very positive. The thing is now she knows I am going she is really upset and does not want me to go. We are very close and speak everyday and live a mile from each other. I am very close also to my grandson and she is worried that he will not know where I have suddenly disappeared to.

So now I am thinking should I not persue my dreams and stay here, although I really want to do this I need her to be happy for me and I guess the thought of me living my dreams at the expense of hurting her is not a good one. I know she is a grown up and has a life of her own, but as a parent we don't want to upset our kids.

So my question is am I being selfish if I just say sorry but I need to do this for me and I am going.

Any input would be appreciated. Reply to this

Hi

Thanks so much for your response, I think in my heart I know I will go as I am so passionate about travelling. Good on you for doing your trip in March. Where are you going? I won't be leaving until Sept and we are doing China, Vietnam, Cambodia,Thailand, Malaysia and then on to Oz and NZ and back via the states. Am so excited just want to get my daughter to feel the same way I guess.

Ally Reply to this

Hey, I'm with Candy on this one. Get on that plane and don't look back. Blog frequently and you can call her on skype a couple of times a week if you need to.

At 25, your daughter needs a dose of being on her own. I hope by the time you leave she will be happy and excited for you but that is her choice.

From my point of view you are not being selfish. You were responsible and raised your family. You've earn some time away.
You are only planning to leave for 7 months. That will go by in a blink and your grandson will not forget you. She can show him pictures of you on the blog.

I for one not cannot wait to read about your travels!
Reply to this

Candy on Tour-- Can't wait to read your blogs. Sounds like you have a marvelous adventure planned. Reply to this

I think the opinion of Travelbloggers may be a little one sided as almost everyone on here will tell you to go but I think if you were to ask the question to people who aren't addicted to travel, as we all are, they would all say the same thing......GO!!! Reply to this

Hi Allison,

We're doing something similar (but not quite)... We're starting our travels for two years+ on the 1st of march and taking our two children with us ( ages 1 & 2). Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and your daughter was going with your grandson.

My children see and spend a lot of time with their grandparents as they live just down the road. I know our parents would rather us not go but thankfully haven't voiced it. If they had, we would still go and I'm sure no matter what they said it couldn't make us feel any guiltier than we do already anyway.

My two year old will certainly notice they're not around, but we're planning to try and do at least one Skype video call a week, just so our parents can see them grow and change as well as interacting with them and reinforcing how important they are in our lives even though they're not so close anymore.

My advice is certainly to go... The time will fly so quickly regardless of length and when you return, you'll slip straight back into everyones lives and sadly (for you anyway) it'll seem like you never left. That was my experience of our previous travels anyway, we went for a year and now we've been back 3 years and it all seems like a dream... that's why we're leaving again, it's a dream I never want to end.

Mike Reply to this

I'm glad you've decided to go ahead with your plans... You most certainly would regret it if you didn't.

We started planning for this trip before we even got back from the last one so our parents knew before the kids came along, I think they were hoping we'd change our mind once they arrived though, especially with the second (he wasn't planned). It just made us more determined though, I want to spend as much time with them as possible and not be at work. We've saved for a while and money stretches so much further when you're not in the UK. 😉

We've got a flight booked to Berlin, then we're heading through Poland and the Baltics to Russia, then train to China and down into SE Asia, where we'll hang around for a while before heading to Australia to complete a road trip we started on our last trip. I'm sure by this point we'll be broke and have to come home!

Our last trip was S. America, NZ, Oz, SE Asia and India... It was incredible! clicky link to blogs

I see you're visiting mostly the same places... You're going to have a blast! 😱

Mike. Reply to this

Hi Mike

Wow I think you guys are so amazing to do this with your children and I don't mean that in a bad way. What a fantastic start to their young lives to travel the world. I say this because so many people who have kids think that they can't travel because of them. I took my grandson to the states when he was 6 months old and so many people said to me that it was stupid to take a baby on a long plane trip. I thought at the time what utter bulls**t . Your trip sounds fab, what are you doing about your home are you renting out. I am still struggling with that, but today I took a 6 month payment holiday from my Mortgage to put some money away.

Can I ask when you get your visa for China do you need to have proof of leaving the country as we will fly into China but are leaving via train or bus to Vietnam and won't book that until in China. We are surfacing all the way to Singapore then we fly out of there to Oz. Any help would be helpful.

Thanks

Ally Reply to this

Hi Ally,

so many people said to me that it was stupid to take a baby on a long plane trip.

We get this all the time and there are moments when I think we must be nuts, but if we don't enjoy it or feel unsafe it's a short flight home from anywhere in the world now (I think anyway). So we'd kick ourselves if we didn't at least give it a go!

Just had a letting agent in to look at the house yesterday as we're renting it out while we're away, but we're considering not even moving back in when we return as it's too small for us now anyway, we'll either sell or release all the equity we can (keeping it rented) and buy somewhere new.

As for the China Visa, you've given me something to think about. We were going to apply ourselves rather than use an agent as it's cheaper, but I remember last time I applied for a Chinese visa I did have to forward copies of our tickets showing our leaving date. We should be applying for those at the start of next month (after the visa is issued you only have three months to get to China). I'll let you know how it goes...

😊 Reply to this