Post your experiences and opinions.
Response to the private message I received.
No problem about going off topic. We have a cool branching function to make new threads, when that happens. In fact, many of the discussions are created in that way, and we actually like it, becasue it allows discussions to develop.
Yeah, friends and travel: I actually dont have any friends still, that I used to have from before I started travelling. It can be embarassing sometimes, when I go to Dublin, and people there ask if I am visiting my friends. I dont much like telling people that I dont have any(I mean in Ireland). Truth is, I have long lost touch with the friends who I didnt meet through travel. Basically, it can get tiresome responding to friends who want to lecture me about being irresponsible, or who ask what I am going to do when I am old and have not got a family, or about how stupid it is to do such dangerous things such as travel.....
Reply to this In fact, this topic about how travel affects friendships is a quite a regular one here on TravelBlog.
There are the friends/aquaintances we meet while travelling who we never get to see again.
There are the buddies from home we travel with and how travel stress affects the friendship
There are the childhood, school and college friendships which dont always survive, partly or largely because of travel changing us.
And I think others can maybe add to this list.
Travel can make you lonely, and not only when you are in some remote place in the world.
Reply to this Mell, in regards to what you were saying about how "travel can make you lonely" I definitely have to agree with that one...
I'm 20... and got the inkling to travel about a year ago - saved up and went to Africa. When I left school I got a full time job, all my friends went to uni.
Obviously, I could fund my travels and they couldn't... Even going out on weekends - why would I spend $250 to go to a nightclub each weekend when I could put that away for my holiday? So I stopped going out - there goes the friendships... Have absolutely nothing in common anymore - I'm just saving even more heavily to fund future travels while they are still out partying and spending money on drinks they just throw up afterwards.
It's amazing how one little inkling to travel can make the friendships so insignificant isn't it?
Do I feel lonely and boring? Yes - in fact most Saturday nights I babysit for extra cash while everyone else my age goes clubbing - but do I regret it? Not even a little bit.
Reply to this It's amazing how one little inkling to travel can make the friendships so insignificant isn't it?
Somehow, I think it is more than that. Maybe it makes friends feel uncomfortable, because they start wondering if they are making the right choices afterall. Or they become judgemental about our choices, or visa versa. After a while, being in each other company becomes more a lot less enjoyable.
Do I feel lonely and boring?
Another thing that made me uncomfortable with my school friends, college friends and siblings were comments about me being stingy, or sensible with my money. I thought they must think me really boring, since they didnt mention that the reason I wasnt spending as much money on clothes, night clubs... was because I was saving for wonderful adventures. It did not feel good to be in the ocmpany of people who did not see me as the exciting world traveller that I felt I was and feel I am. Of course travellers and even internet travel forums became better company for me, and I stopped trying with my friends who dont travel.
Reply to this I travelled a few times in my twenties, nothing too off the wall or different, and nobody really said anything about it. I've driven alone across parts of Canada too, many times. But when I went by myself to Africa for the first time two years ago, I was a bit shocked when I got home to find several friends thought I was crazy! Most were pleased for me, or possibly admiring, but I really didn't expect the crazy label. I came to the conclusion that those who thought me crazy didn't really know me very well at all. And guess what, I don't really have any contact with them anymore! They've been replaced with some wonderful friends met on my travels.
I always think people who really want to travel will, even if it means forgoing other things - like drinking with friends and such. Same thing with reading - if you really like to read a lot, you will likely not have a filled social calendar. That's my theory, anyhow.
Reply to this But when I went by myself to Africa for the first time two years ago, I was a bit shocked when I got home to find several friends thought I was crazy! Most were pleased for me, or possibly admiring, but I really didn't expect the crazy label. I came to the conclusion that those who thought me crazy didn't really know me very well at all. And guess what, I don't really have any contact with them anymore! They've been replaced with some wonderful friends met on my travels.
This is a big problem I have had too, with ex friends. I was even lectured about how I have no respect for myself if I go to places like India and Mexico. They thought of it as putting my life at risk. Nothing I said ever altered their point of view. I used to try telling them that people, including women live in these places, so just how terrible can they be, when there is not a war on there. The responses were usually comments like ''they dont have a choice about living there'' whereas I who have a choice am too stupid to avoid those places. I even tried to explain to them, that some in far away places said similiar about Ireland(where I come from) as they are saying about wherever, because we used to have serious terrorist problem there, until recent years. Somehow, they seemed to believe that is different.
Reply to this I never felt that cuz the money i saved not going clubbing or bar hopping in my home country, i definitely partook in when i traveled.
maybe thats the key to enjoying ur 20s whilst traveling???
Reply to this It depends upon the situation. When its work related I do feel lonely while traveling but I do befriend people while on travel so that I will not feel lonely.
· Reply to this Whenever I get into places wherein people are couples, that makes me so lonely. Considering the fact that I haven't had any companions for some years now. I don't even remember how it feels like to be with someone and enjoy the moments...
Reply to this when travelling i seldom get lonely except the time when i see couples or families together and I have no one to laugh with, although i have some friends, it's really different when you're with people you love 😉
Reply to this The last four days were spent without internet. No internet, means no skype to my love ones, and this is how I feel lonely.
But over the last four days, I met wonderful people, which means I learn, I share, I interact.
At he same time, I was in the middle of nowhere, having the chance to be out of "contact" to anybody for hours, and lonelyness did feel good.
Why I love to feel alone in the middle of nowhere...simply because it make you realize how much you love your love ones, how much your friends are so great! Being lonely is only a state of mind. If you have people who love you, you are never lonely, being far away to be able to communicate with them, make you lonely.
If you don't miss anybody, you dont get the point. Life is not about places, it's about people. And I'm blessed to love and to be loved.
Reply to this Travel makes me happy, especially when a bad mood, can go travel, and I feel it will get better,
Reply to this I think travel helps you realise who are your true friends and who you just hung around with because they were there. I've got two freinds who I miss like crazy and are keeping in contact with me while I travel and the others don't really seem to care where I am and I'm realising I don't miss them that much. I can deal with that, but it does put things into perspective. On the other hand I've made friends from around the world who share my interests. It's exciting.
Reply to this I've got two freinds who I miss like crazy and are keeping in contact with me while I travel and the others don't really seem to care where I am and I'm realising I don't miss them that much. I can deal with that, but it does put things into perspective.
I think there are different types of friends too. Some I cant share my travels at all with, because they just cant relate to it, but they can relate to other areas of my life like parenting etc. And I consider anyone who has a positive influence on my life, whether they understand the travels or not to be a friend. But, I probably have a very broad definition of what a friend is. Some of my friends are probably just aquaintances by anothers definition.
Reply to this Traveling doesn't make me feel lonely but i've always been a loner of sorts, i tend to do my own things most of the time. I guess i am use to the solitude you tend to find whilst traveling. What traveling does make me feel though is insignificant. When I travel i realise or i remember how big the universe is. When you are at home something like an argument with a friend or an unpaid bill can seem like the biggest problem in the world. Laying on a picnic table under the stars listening to the trees rustle or listening to noises around, is all just a gentle reminder to me how i am just one small speck in this universe. It's a good reminder to myself to enjoy life.
Reply to this Laying on a picnic table under the stars listening to the trees rustle or listening to noises around, is all just a gentle reminder to me how i am just one small speck in this universe. It's a good reminder to myself to enjoy life.
Reading history books that span thousands of years gives me this reminder. The around 100 years I will live seem so small, when one looks at just how much time there has been. But, then I look at the lasting affect/effect some have had on the world in that less than 100 years and think we are potentially very important, even if we are here for such a short time.
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