Heller

I crossed the Williamsburg bridge towards the city with a tall can of Budweiser. It's really one of the most beautiful views I've ever seen. Manhattan's majesty is comparable to the vistas at any National Park. I got to the Lower East Side, with the hunger that comes from a few glasses of wine and a 25-minute walk. I found some cheap Puerto Rican cuchifritos. Tasty. I met up with Ben inside of the bar. I couldn't tell if it was so steamy inside because of all the people or if there was a fog machine. There was a fog machine. After the standard beer-and-shot drink special, we sought the next destination on the boozy horizon. We headed towards a a club, which did not seem in my best interest, as I was trying to maximize ... read more

Through the miracle of cheap airfare, internet work, and physician recruitment conferences, I will be going to Puerto Rico at the end of this month. My mom invited me to stay with her in San Juan. The hotel has all sorts of amenities, including but not limited to wireless internet on the beach. If you have to work, you might as well work beachside, with a coco-loco in your hand. A few months ago I gave up my seat on a flight. The airline gave me a free flight to anywhere in the contiguous US. So I'm flying into New York, and taking a $250 (roundtrip) JetBlue flight to this tropical territory. Upon my return I plan on spending a week (or several) in Nueva York. Followed by some time in Chicago, as I have never ... read more

On Saturday afternoon I walked around San Francisco. We walked from Hayes Valley to the Mission. The sketchy parts of the city happen abruptly. It's like Boom, now I feel uncomfortable. I saw all of the things that would cause somebody to say "this is sketchy", though each of them individually might elicit a similar response. Crazy homeless people, prostitutes, public urination, and several broad day light drug deals. On the way home I found a box that had over one thousand business cards for a Mexican clown from Fresno named Payasito Caramelo. They were just sitting on a mailbox. I am going to get some labels with my information and use these as my business cards. No, we do not "regalamos globos" any more, I'm sorry. I took a nap. Afterwards, we went to check ... read more

This weekend I went to a Antidoto Music festival at the Greek Theater in LA. It was all Latino bands, and all Latino people. It was like a music festival in Latin America, but for some reason this time I didn't try to sneak backstage. (Though for a second I was in the press area.) My friend Shannon won tickets to the show. They seated every ticket winner in a row in the exact center of the venue. We became friends with the gay couple who sat next to us, but only after we drank their wine without them knowing. They then proceeded to serve us wine. It was a pretty good deal, steal a strangers wine, and then accept it as a gift later on. We walked with the gays down to an atrium where ... read more

Earlier this summer I decided with my lady friend that we would spend the week following camp on vacation. During the Staff Party she wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to be too hungover the next day to go on our excursion. On Monday, I was too hungover to travel. But I'm a seasoned traveler, so moving whilst in pain comes as second nature to me. On Monday evening we headed to the Eastern Sierras. Nevada, right? It turns out that east of California's Sierras is actually more of California. We left my house and headed for the Souplantation in Valencia. I'll say it straight up, I love the Souplantation. They've got some tasty items at fair prices. Most of the time I feel like it's a battle between me and the owner of ... read more

I moved away from Mexico. I don't have a job, so I'm kind of hanging out for a few weeks. I decided to take a jaunt to my old ciudad universitaria. (I regularly update this blog.) I got into Davis on Thursday night. (I chose the Carl's Jr. Jalapeno Burger over In N Out. What? I wasn't hungry at the Kettleman City offramp.) When I got to Jason's house there were fraternity pledges preparing an exchange with a moderate sorority. They aren't a politically centrist sorority, they're the fairly attractive sorority, which is a major accomplishment for the chapter of the fraternity having this exchange. I'm not sure what the theme was but I was zip-tied to a girl who was excited to find out that I was responsible for the Picnic Day Anthem . She ... read more

Uh, I have another blog that I update when I'm not traveling. Heller's Corner It's way funny.... read more

Has anybody ever composed a list of the dumbest themed bars in the world? That would surely put Pachuca, Hidalgo on the map. Last night we went to Zirco, a circus themed bar. I wonder who thought that would be a good idea. But the circus bar that we went to was not the one I knew about, there is another fucking circus bar in Pachuca. In a city that has 300,000 people there are two circus themed bars. Pachuca has the most circus themed bars per capita of any city in the world (consult wikipedia.) When I got there our friends were trying to get in to the bar. Somebody asked me to "work my magic." As it was a circus themed bar, I felt that phrase was appropriate. So I just told the ... read more

I woke up on Wednesday morning, cold as fuck. I recently purchased a heater to heat my large uninsulated room. The heater successfully warms my toes when I place them right over the radiator. My immediate thought was ¨I need to get out of town, fast.¨The last time I made such a drastic claim was when I was being bombarded with coconuts on the mean streets of Lagos, Portugal, true story (semi-true story.) Pachuca was exactly 20º (celsius) colder than I like it. If it was this cold inside, I could only imagine how cold it would be outside. You guessed it, I imagined it would be COLDER. My water also wasn´t working. Again. Boo. I went to school, just about ready to quit my life in Mexico. When I realized I HAD OPTIONS. I decided ... read more