The shock of real life...

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Heya everybody,

I hope you are all well. I'm back at the office late tonight because I just couldn't digest what's been happening all alone...

So when I went to go to dinner tonight (on site), my driver took me to the kitchen which is a few buildings away. On the way he says to me "Madame, I want to ask you if it's ok if I find some company to relieve myself". And I'm thinking, what? Like he has to go pee? So I say, "I'm not really sure what you mean", and he says "you know, a woman". And then I freak out and just start shaking my head and get really upset. Because every womanly bone in my body says "No you pervert, keep it in your pants for one night for f* sake" but the human rights activist in me says it's his choice and I shouldn't impose my values on him. So I tell him that it's up to him whether he goes into town to find someone or not. So anyway, he drives me to the kitchen and we eat. Afterward I ask him to drive me to the club so I can have a beer with the guys, and he says to me “So Madame, what do I do?” like I should excuse him so he can hit the town and find his little 14-year old mistress. And I say “My bag is in the car, so you wait for me until I’m finished and then you take me home. After that, it’s your business”. So I have a few beers at the club with the guys, and then I want to go to the office to write this blog so that I can get this off my chest because it’s really appalling. And so then he says “Madame, how do I get downtown? There is no one to show me” and so I have to point out the road that’s going to bring him to his 14 year old prostitute. Oh, the night gets worse… So then he asks me if I’m married and I say I am (it’s just safer) and he says he is also married. So I say to him “what are you doing cheating on your wife? You do not show your respect for her by sleeping with other women”. And he says those are the rules of his house and he’s abiding by those rules. And I say “well, maybe it is a difference of culture, but where I come from, it is not acceptable to treat your wife this way” and we left it at that.

As if that weren’t enough… A friend of mine is pregnant.

I have some local friends here, and one of them is a woman I met through some expats. They are drillers, and one of them had a local girlfriend who became a friend of mine since we were both ladies hanging out a lot at their place. Well, her boyfriend (an Australian) moved away to Guinea and didn’t give her his number or anything, even though he was very serious with her while he was here. Dinners with her family, went to weddings together, etc. Anyway, she phoned me to tell me she’s 3.5 months pregnant with the guy’s baby… And she can’t tell her parents because they will disown her, and she can’t get in touch with the guy (although I’m sure he’d want to know). She has no more friends because as soon as she started dating a white guy they assumed she was a prostitute. Needless to say, she’s in trouble. And now, I’m the one who is supposed to drive her to the clinic on Thursday for the procedure. How did this happen? I want to be there for her, but it all just seems a bit real to me.

Prostitution? Abortions? I guess this is Africa…

Anyway, I hope this opens your eyes to some of the craziness that is happening here. I’m really living it, and I assure that everything I am saying is completely true. I know this kind of stuff gets lived out in every country in the world, but having it shoved in your face makes you appreciate your peaceful life that much more. I haven't known girls struggling with this in Canada, although I know it happens. I just hope they have families that are maybe a bit more understanding, or more resources at their disposal.

As for the guy looking for some local tail; it disgusts me and all you men need to behave yourselves to make up for the perversion of the rest of your gender. Shame!

Anyway, that's my take on today. I hope you're all well and leading joyful, uneventful lives. 😊

xo
-Brownie

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Comments

[Gail]

Sometimes life sucks
Just be there for the poor girl who has no one to rely on, as much as you can Lindsey. She will need someone to be understanding, this will be a very difficult time for her, and you can only support her in her decisions. It sound as if her mother and father are very strict, and this is possibly the reason she was looking elsewhere for affection, and ended up with much more than a young woman should have to deal with.

[Wanda]

Hang in there Brownie. YOu are a great person who will support her friends. If you need to talk, cry or just vent, you know where I am.