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Land Ho'
Halong Bay... Hey,
First of all, thanks to those who are able to write back. I appreciate the emails and just realize that email is very slow here and I can't respond to every email but I appreciate them just the same.
In Saigon until tomorrow when we take a boat up the Mekong Delta (yes, that Mekong Delta) into Cambodia. I have been here 2 days and this is really a great great city. In Hanoi, the excitement was ice cream on scooters and the streets dead by 10:00pm. Saigon is much much different. It's wild and doesn't sleep. When it does, they sleep on the street in cots. I think people don't want to go home because Vietnamese television is usually no better than Public Access. Most of the programming just shows Asians singing songs together and the men usually wear suits from the 70's. No wonder the night life is huge here.
I've been approached by many Gasians (gay Asians) who want to play with my beard and other parts of my body. One very rude drunken guy from England called these Gasians, "Apocolisp Now".
Guys on bicycles ride by with bells and have asked me if
I want:
*Marijuana
*Boom Boom for 1 hour
*Massage
*Boom Boom all night
*Boom Boom Boom
I guess I look desperate of something. Or maybe the Asians are jealous of my grizzly adams beard. Yes, it's true. Most Asian people can't grow good facial hair and facial hair is considered good luck. If that’s the case, I’m heading for Vegas because I’m stacked.
Massage: I got my first Vietnamese massage. It's quite different than in China. The Vietnamese masseuse gets on top of you and the bench and then uses your body and the bench for leverage in order to crack you in places that you have never been cracked before. If you take a bag of chips and step on it, you will hear the sounds that came from my body. No, there wasn't any boom boom or "happy ending" during the massage.
My nails like my beard is very long. It's amazing what a vacation where you lack any bit of stress can do to your body. I actually had to get a manicure which is amazing for those of you who have seen my gnarled nail bitten fingers. I have officially become feminine despite
my facial hair. I have long nails and I like soccer. Someone please put me out of my misery and take me to a football game.
Vianne is cracking me up. Whenever we pass a chicken Vianne holds her breath. The chicken could be across the street and she still picks up speed and holds her breath. To Vianne, the CDC can't be right about the Avian flu and how difficult it is to get. Also to see Vianne try to cross the street (there are very few traffic lights in Vietnam so you just have to go slowly) is priceless. She tends to smile when she's afraid, so she looks like the Joker as she scrambles through the scooters. Also to see Vianne's fear of ice (it could be contaminated water even when the waiter says it isn't), is wonderful. I love examining the Asian people but examining Vianne is almost as fun. Let me give you an example of Vianne and then you’ll understand her. Let’s say we see a hill. She’ll say beforehand, “There’s a hill. I can’t believe I’m going to climb this hill.” Then after twenty minutes of debating whether to climb the hill,
she eventually agrees to do it. When she starts climbing it, she’ll say, “I’m on a hill, I can’t believe I’m on this hill.” She’ll then start hyperventilating and start up again after ten or so minutes. Once she gets to the top she’ll say, “I climbed this hill. I can’t believe I just climbed this hill.” It’s great because it’s like having Howard Cosell next to you as she goes play by play
Bought a custom made suit for very cheap. Vietnam is a huge clothing country and Danielle and I have indulged. This is the part of travelling that always makes you feel better about spending a lot of money and losing your job. Spending your savings on great deals. This is the first suit that i have bought in 8 years, so it's due and I may need it as I go on my imminent job hunt. Also, it's going to suck to go from $2 awesome meals back to the $6 burger
The war museum in Saigon is one of the best museums that I've ever been to. Unlike Hanoi, that calls the Americans vicious, the French barbaric, and themselves strong and brave. (yes
the Vietnam war was a huge mistake for America and France was even worse, but imagine the holocaust museum in L.A. calling the Germans, "those bastard Nazi's). Good museums lay out all the facts and then let the person make their own educated decision. This museun does this and I realize how arrogant America must have been to think that they can control this country half a world away.
Saw the Cu Chi tunnels today which are the tunnels that the Vietcong used to carry out their attacks. They actually let you go in the tunnels and it's very scary to imagine people living in these holes. These holes actually got stronger when the napalm hit them because it hardened the walls of the tunnels because they were mostly made of clay. So all the napalm that the U.S. was dropping really didn't do much good except burning a lot of trees, killing some soldiers, and killing way too many civilians. Our tour guide was an ex Vietcong who reminded me of my uncle Lou. A no nonsense guy who you could tell had a tough life and is getting over the crap he's gone through. Only 10% of
his generation survived which is why there are so many people under 30 in Vietnam. Yes, Vianne went into the tunnels and yet again couldn’t believe that she was doing it.
Anyway, take care of yourselves and I'll see you in less than a month and for those of you who need an explanation of what a "happy ending" is, I'll explain it then…verbally.
Eric
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Aaron
non-member comment
Those fruits are rambutans, not leeches.