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Published: December 18th 2010
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When walking to the school, I pass by oodles of small shops that are in the business of selling women's clothing. Most of these stores sell clothes for women in their 30's and 40's. I think I may have discovered their business model: Convince the customers that they've eliminated the effects of normal, age-related sagging and even their closest friends will be fooled, if only this stuff is purchased first.
And everywhere I go, I see women wearing long, padded coats (with fur collars) and tall, leather boots with spiky heels. Personally, I think that this sort of attire changes an otherwise normal-looking women into one that looks like an active employee of a companion rental service with low hourly rates. Whether these products are actually fashionable is not for me to judge since women dress up to impress their peers, not me. To be honest, I am still impressed by a woman who wears bib overalls and Birkenstocks. (You can take the boy out of Berkeley...)
The rest of the shops on that street specialize in outerwear for children. It is Winter here, so mainly what they stock are very puffy, winter jackets in really bright colors. We
are talking a lot of stores and a lot of bright, puffy jackets. All colorful, all bright, all puffy. Though it's impossible to tell for sure, I'm pretty certain that most of the people under one meter tall completely swaddled in bright, puffy jackets around here are, in fact, children. There must be a zillion children here in Weishan. China's one child policy ensures that these little squirts get quite doted upon nicely and a new, bright, puffy jacket they are bound to get. You ain't seen
“helicopter parents” until you've seen Chinese helicopter parents.
And with no large families to maintain, combined with an emerging middle class, the Weishan male's midlife crisis must be tempered by the purchase of a motorcar. The nouveau gauche must have a shiny, new motorcar. One must keep up with the Wongs, after all.
It wasn't that long ago that a Chinese automobile was relatively spartan and utilitarian. Not any more.
Today's Chinese-made car looks as good as the other major brands all over the world. No kidding. They would blend in on any road in America. We will see them on American roads sooner rather than later. And no, they are
not tiny subcompacts for tiny Asians. There are a lot of tall Chinese up here in the north (Where did you think that
Yao Ming guy comes from?) and they need big cars.
There is a lot of competition within the Chinese car market. Not only from the
domestic-made brands, but from foreign makers who set up their manufacturing plants here long ago in order to pander to the huge and rapidly growing Chinese market. Volkswagen is #1 here but Citroen, Toyota, Honda, Suzuki and Hyundai all have assembly plants here too, as does, of all things, Buick.
Yes, Buick.
The favorite brand of office secretaries everywhere is a bit hit here in China. The models available are (fortunately) not the big, lumbering pigs sold in the USA. Instead, General Motors of Shanghai (now that has a nice ring to it, don't you think?) puts the Buick nameplate on various midsized and compact models that would, in a fair and just world, be badged as Opels.
Promise to keep a secret? The Buicks here look pretty good to me. I would even like to own one, if I were not so curmudgeonly about anything related to GM (oh, I almost
forgot: and broke, too).
A big percentage of the cars here are Chinese-made Volkswagens. They have a bunch of really cool models that we don't get in the States, all state-of-the-art, watercooled, fuel injected and four-wheel-disc-brake bedecked. For the upscale folk, the luxury-sedans are usually Audi’s. I see Mercedes and BMWs too, but most of the German cars (not counting the VWs) are Audis. For some reason Audi has the Eurotrash market cornered here. The height of fashion here is to hire a
fleet of black Audis for your wedding.
The big-ass Audis and their Germanic brethren are invariably painted black. Not silver, not gold; black. Must be hell in the summer. Their owners black out all the windows, except for the windshield. Even the driver's and front passenger's windows are covered with opaque, black film. There is a tiny clear opening in the film in order to get a tiny glimpse of the sideview mirrors.
I know that I am not alone when I say that the average Chinese male drives like a butthead. Passing across a double-yellow line within town. Passing on the right. U-turns from the curb lane across a double-yellow line without even signaling. Cutting a left-turn at an intersection in town so tight that you nearly collide with the oncoming traffic. Failure to signal. Failure to yield. Failure to use a seatbelt. Failure to pay attention. Failure to shift into the proper gear. Lugging the engine in town. Passing a speeding bus that just happens to be passing a truck at highway speed. Talking on a cellphone all the while.
And all this while constantly beeping the horn. Constantly. Beeping at anything that moves. Beeping just because someone deserves a good beeping to. (“Failure to beep” is not a commonly-issued citation here.) Lack of driving skill combined with testosterone, no concept of what the minimum RPM an engine needs and incessant beeps. What could possibly go wrong?
I have taken to riding in the back seat, all buckled up and staring down at my toes.
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Tar Heel
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Is a driving course/test required to drive in China? How do women drive compared to males? Any traffic cops? How is the smog now that it is winter?