Crouching Monkeys, Hidden Dragon

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After landing in Hanoi, we cheekily hopped into a booked taxi with two lads from England – one friendly scoucer and one stocky guy with crazy long hair that made him resemble Tarzan or an American Wrestler from the 90s!

We shared a few stories in the back seat of the cab with the scouser, the wrestler wasn't quite as chatty, maybe he was worrying about his title fight with Hulk Hogan! The scouce lad told us his favourite place from his entire trip was Nha Trang. Apparently he was there a couple of days before us and the weather was perfect – gutted!

We dropped them first and then asked the cabbie how much more to our hotel – he quoted us 100,000 dong (a fiver) when we knew we were really close. We bartered him down to 40,000 and got back in. 30 seconds later we were at our hotel – cheeky bugger – we knew we should have walked it, we would have done if we'd have known where it was or if it wasn't pitch black. This wasn't the first time we'd been ripped off in Vietnam and it wasn't the last. Just because we're white, they assume we're loaded – although to be fair – in Vietnam we were billionaires! We checked in to Luxury Hotel – which was decent but the fag burns and little insects everywhere meant it didn't quite live up to its name.

The next day we began our mission to book our Halong Bay tour – it was probably the hardest and longest decision we'd ever made. We even had to have an extra day in Hanoi to decided. The reason it was such a mission was two fold, 1. because there was about a million different trips you could do, all with slightly different itinerary, prices and quality of boats and hotels and 2. there were a million tour agencies, all telling us different things and quoting different prices. The worst culprit was the sneaky little man who worked at the hotel – clearly he had certain boats which gave him more commission than others, which he tried to push onto us. He'd recommend one, and then change his mind at the last minute – just to confuse us more.

Still undecided we went off to explore Hanoi – it started to rain so we found cover in Thai Express and had a tasty lunch. Once the rain had stopped we ventured over to the lake and crossed the little red bridge to a tiny island in the middle which housed a little temple and an ancient lucky turtle statue. Inside the temple the Buddha sacrifices included a microwave meal, a preserved whole chicken, a packet of fags and some beer – what more could any god ask for?

We managed to make it to the Revolutionary Museum too, just before it closed, and they let us in for free 😊

After walking around the city for a few hours, our tired feet needed a rest, so we asked an cyclo bike with man to take us back to the hotel. We showed him on the map and agreed a fee. After 5 minutes he stopped and claimed we were at our destination pointing at the street sign. It didn't look familiar and Jo realised the street name was spelt slightly differently. We explained that we were in the wrong place and showed him the map again and he said, “no, very far” even though we'd shown him before. He was obviously pulling a fast one. We demanded he take us to the correct street for the same price, he wasn't best pleased but he realised he'd been caught out and reluctantly agreed – cheeky buggar.

Back at the hotel we asked if we could take a few of the tour books to our room for some bedtime reading. We eventually decided on the Christina tour and the next morning went to book it. This time the rep tried to put us off our chosen one and confused us once again. Luckily a friendly couple from England were sitting near us when we were trying to book the tour with the hotel for about the 5th time. They told us they'd paid $90 each for a really nice tour with a perfect sounding itinerary, so we asked our hotel guy if he would match the price for the same tour. He said ok I do for $88 each. He 'phoned' the tour company to book it and then told us, he was so sorry, it was fully booked. By now we didn't believe him, and so jumped in a taxi with Abi and Jimi to book through the same agency as them. When we got there it turned out the tour was not fully booked at all, so we booked it and then spent the next hour slagging off our devious hotel rep. We grabbed a bite to eat with our new buddies, bought some alcoholic supplies for our voyage, then headed for an early night.

Woke up bright and early for our 7:15am pick up and met Abi and Jimi downstairs. The hotel rep wouldn't even look at us as we left – either embarrassed that he'd lied to us or angry at us for booking with someone else!

On the mini bus to the Ha Long City our Michael Jackson loving tour guide entertained us with ancient tales of Halong Bay and a rendition of Lonely, complete with a few wacko jacko dance moves and groin thrusting!

After a bit of a wait at the harbour we took a little motorboat to our Poseiden Junk and set sail towards the Bay. As we descended through the mist on our grand wooden boat, we felt like we had joined Captain Jack Sparrow for a swashbuckling adventure.

As we sailed through the emerald waters, the mystical limestone formations became clearer and more prominent. Soon we could see hundreds of them through the fog, creating an endless maze of rocky statues. The name Halong means descending dragon as legend has it that a dragon came to the bay to protect Vietnam from Chinese invasion, by throwing his tail into some land, he created the thousands of islets to confuse and disorientate intruders.

We indulged in our 6 course lunch which consisted mainly of seafood, most of which was a new experience for the both of us. Normally we're both a bit wary of ocean delights (cod and tuna is usually as adventurous as we get) but because it was free and as the setting felt appropriate we thought we should give it a try. We were surprised how much we enjoyed our feast of king prawns, crab, squid, seafood spring rolls and a melt in your mouth red snapper, accompanied by the usual rice, veg and salad.

After lunch we sailed to “Suprise Cave” which was situated inside one of the rocky islets. Despite the name neither of us were expecting a big surprise, however once we got inside we were shocked at the sheer scale and depth of it. We assumed this was the surprise, it was the Doctor Who's tardis of caves. It took us about 45 minutes to explore all the cracks and crevices discovering many different rocks that had been eroded into life like shapes, including a hairy yeti, a big willy and a giant tortoise covered in Vietnam money that people had placed there as they believe it will bring them good luck. We then got to Kayak around the bay and explore another cave by ourselves.

We returned back to the boat, enjoyed another sea food dominated dinner then headed to our cabin for some chill time before indulging in some classic Asian entertainment......Karaoke. Just like typical English we were reluctant at first but after a bottle of cheap vodka that we smuggled on board, you couldn't get us off the mic. The two of us, accompanied by Abi and Jimi murdered classic anthems until the early hours, forgetting about our early 7.30am start the next day.

Feeling a little worse for ware, we had a quick breakfast before leaving our ship for a bus to Cat Ba National Park. We hiked for an hour up some very steep and tough terrain (being overtaken by a blind man and some oldies along the way) until we finally reached the summit exhausted and sweaty but the spectacular views made it worth while. To get an even better scope on the surrounding scenery we climbed a VERY rickety and scary old metal tower, which had missing steps and felt like it could collapse any second. After a very shaky ascent we finally reached the top where the floor turned into thin wooden planks, some of which were unattached from the metal frame. In Vietnam they don't have Health and Safety!

After trekking back down the mountain, we checked in to a hotel overlooking Cat Ba Harbour and then headed for our trip to Monkey Island. We squeezed into a minibus with Abi, Jimi and a load of other tourists and then got on a barge style boat across the sea. The sun was shining and the sky was blue so we sat on top of the boat and topped up our tans.

As soon as we walked the narrow plank off the boat we could see several cheeky monkeys running around the beach and being fed by a local man. Some of the monkeys were fairly calm but a couple looked a bit evil and were ready to attack for food! We both had a go at feeding them with crackers and they politely took it from our hands. But others weren't so lucky as the confident monkeys grabbed other tourist's bottles of water and ran off with them. The friendly Austrian couples that were part of our Poseidon crew had a big bottle securely stashed in their backpack, but that didn't stop one brave monkey from swinging off the lady's back and snatching the bottle away. He bit a whole into the bottle and retreated to a beach hut roof top to use the water as both refreshment and a cold shower! We even got to see a few baby monkeys too, which were so cute. We couldn't get too close though, as the parents looked a bit defensive of their young. After a bit of sun bathing, enjoying the nicest beach we'd seen so far and taking in the stunning surroundings of Halong Bay we headed back to Cat Ba to watch the sunset, have some dinner and get an early night.

The next day we got picked up and boarded our piratesque vessel for the final time. We cruised through the bay and were shown some of the most famous of the formations, which had been named after what they looked like (well kind of). Supposedly we saw the fighting cocks and the fighting dogs, but we didn't quite see the resemblance! We had beautiful weather again, so we could see the islets in all their glory as the sun shone over the bay.

Once ashore we had to board another cramped minibus back to Hanoi, which ended up breaking down under the weight! Our long journey home was lengthened as we waited for a replacement bus to take us the rest of the way. A little bit annoying, but seeing our panicking tour guide crumble as a group of us told him off for arranging a bus that was too small, and the vivid memories of Halong Bay still in our minds, we weren't that bothered. KFC for tea then and pricey massage to help Jo's bad back before bedtime. Then back to Thailand the next day!

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Comments

[Chris and Nikki]

Cool picture!