Puerto Viejo - Warm water, big waves and a funny magician.

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A brisk five hour coach journey South East from San Jose is the town of Puerto Viejo. It is on the Caribbean coast and we timed our visit to coincide with the arrival of Hurricane Billy (something like that anyway) a little bit up the coast, meaning the weather probably wasn't at it's best but the waves were massive! I don't say that in any kind of cool surfer dude "The waves were unreal, man. I was boarding all weekend" way, but in a more childish voice - "I want to spend so much time getting knocked off my feet by these things that I can taste nothing but salt for the rest of the day." And that's exactly what happened. I grew up five minutes from Crosby beach near Liverpool so I see myself as something of a 'veteran of the sand' but I had no idea what was coming. For a start, the sea was warm. Like a swimming pool. I'm sure there's some brilliant scientific reason and explanation for this but I don't know it. What I do know is that I spent the first ten minutes we were there with a look of puzzled amazement on my face saying 'It's warm. How can it be warm? It feels like a bath. Do you know why it's so warm? It is warm isn't it, it's not just me?' Pretty annoying I imagine but no one punched me so I reckon I got any with it. We spent quite some time in the water being knocked off our feet by the waves, and then coming up grinning like idiots waiting for the next big one. The only time I felt anything other than unbridled joy was the first time one actually broke directly on top of me which pushed me into an unplanned, but exceptionally well executed, somersault and while I was underwater my mind flicked to an old Daniel Kitson routine and I thought "I could die here" before the wave passed and I realised the water I was now in was only about four foot deep.

Elements of Puerto Viejo were quite touristy, the people braiding hair on the beach, the souvenir mugs etc. but that was a fairly small part of the place although I'm told we were there in the off-season so obviously that side may increase depending on the month. The hostel we stayed at was called Rockin J's and was just a little bit off the main bar strip, but was right on the beach which was much more important as far as I was concerned. Live music at weekends, hammocks to lie in and shelter from the rain (and to sleep in if you so desire) and lots and lots of blue hermit crabs just knocking around, minding their own business. I didn't realise that watching a couple of crabs walk and eat for half an hour could entertain me as much as it did. They have, as far as I can tell, the second funniest walk in the whole of the animal kingdom. After pigeons, obviously.

Sitting in a bar on the Sunday night minding our business, we were accosted by a sleight of hand magician from New York. I don't know if he's a local celebrity on the scale of the Teddy Bear man in Church Street in Liverpool or Gary Labonti Jenkins in Leeds, but he should be. He showed us about ten really good tricks and interspersed them with a few old Bob Monkhouse gags ("They laughed at me when I said I was going to be a comedian, well they're not laughing now") and basically thoroughly entertained us for fifteen minutes or so. One of those impromptu meetings that just puts the cherry on top of the proverbial cake. If you ever go there, look out for him. The best description would be that he looks like what George Carlin would look like if he was homeless (and not dead), but to be honest you will most likely be able to guess it's him if you see him. He's just got one of those faces.

We had a few drinks in a bar called Johnny's (a world away from the bar in Nice, of the same name) and we were able to sit on the beach as the midnight moonlight hit the sea and it was lovely. They don't really need to do much there to make it a very special looking place, so a few beer cans with candles in them placed in trees was more than enough. I could have sat there all night if we hadn't all been knackered by 1oclock, so that was when we called it a night. (Rock and Roll, huh?)

If you visit Puerto Viejo from inside Costa Rica, chances are that you will be going from San Jose and if the bus is full, it isn't the most pleasant of journeys. For about three quarters of the time, you're going through incredible rainforest so if you can, just focus on that to get you through. The Valley of the Clouds (I have made that name up, but if it's not called that then it should be) is one of the most breathtaking things I have ever seen and you could argue it's worth the five hour trip just for that. Of course if you'd asked me that while I was sitting next to the lady who's ass took up all of her seat and half of mine for five hours, I'd have probably said something a little different, and it would have taken a full hermit crab parade down the centre of the bus to have changed my mind.

Pura Vida

Dave

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Comments

[Mike Brown]

You get around a bit don't ya Dave! Come back though... Withernsea misses you.

[Dave Thompson]

Two Fat Arse's !!
"Of course if you'd asked me that while I was sitting next to the lady who's ass took up all of her seat and half of mine for five hours, I'd have probably said something a little different, and it would have taken a full hermit crab parade down the centre of the bus to have changed my mind."...................................good job I wasn't there too Mr Rymer, with my fat arse, those bloody hermit crabs would have had to have danced the fandango & juggled sea anemones to get you through that trip !! :-) All the Best Dave T

[kimby]

our chance to see the magician again
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