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Published: June 12th 2010
American Bald Eagle
Perched in a tree in our yard.It’s a phrase we’ve repeated over and over this past year, since our return from living our year in Sweden. “This time last year, we were…sitting by the sea…driving the Danish countryside…making Lucia Buns with Gunnel…playing cards with Mark and Carina…on a ferry to Berlin…eating croissants in Paris…laughing in a sandal shop in Greece…heading to Husaby for a Midsommer party…beginning the long Minnesota good-bye, Swedish version (which ended up looking a lot like MN style!)”.
Recalling the year in Sweden is much like childbirth for me. I’m remembering all of the great things, and have mostly phased out the painful and icky. I’ve begun to “spin” the difficult things. For instance, ”we could see the sun rise and set within just a couple of hours!”. It’s a stretch, but one I’m willing to make.
As I write, I’m sitting on the newly installed porch swing (the swing isn’t new, Jeff and his Dad made it for me for our 10th wedding anniversary…the “Wood” anniversary, apparently). It is the most peaceful place in my life right now. I look out at a mass of green…the sumac, spruce, elm and cottonwood all blend together, as do the songs of the cardinal,
phoebe, purple finch and various birds I have yet to identify. They are here, it seems, to bring me into the day’s chaos gently.
It is good to be home, and yet we long for those adventures that almost seem like someone else’s story. While I can’t say that our lives are dull, by any means, there is a certain “ordinariness” that has returned. Don’t get me wrong, we longed for the familiar while living abroad. We couldn’t wait for a night with friends at Patrick’s, or a simple trip to the grocery store.
While living away, it’s easy to forget the daily drama. Easy and an absolute gift.
The kids have just completed the school year, Jorgen has completed Kindergarten, Signe is movin’ on up to the 6th grade and Emma will be a Sophomore! Em is currently taking Driver’s Education…how did that happen? Speaking of Emma, what a year it’s been for her. What started as a growth spurt requiring a whole new wardrobe in Sweden, has blossomed into the unveiling of a young lady who’s inner beauty is being rivaled by her image in the mirror. But don’t tell her that, she’s a teen-age
January View
Winter in MN. girl with all the doubts and teen-age angst she can muster, and I, it seems am her best friend and worst enemy, all wrapped up in one. I”ll take the enemy moments for the opportunity to be the best friend of this amazing girl.
Signe has become more fully Signe. The school year was especially hard for her, as 5th grade tends to be a transition for most kids. It’s the year when school becomes work…and the responsibilities of growing up start to creep in. Add to that the fact that she has had a reccurrance of the auto-immune condition, Alopecia Areata, which has caused her to lose about 65% of her hair…well, you can probably imagine what that does to a little girl. However, Signe is the one of my kids that could handle it. We have transitioned from carefully styled hair, to hats, to a wig and now back to hats and bandanas. We don’t know if her hair will grow back, it is an unpredictable disease. Google Children’s Alopecia Project if you want to read more about it, or to donate to this wonderful organization. In spite of these challenges, Signe has nailed her academics (and
coming into 5th grade math after a year with NO math was a CHALLENGE!), created a club of girls called the Biodegradable Emus (don’t even ask), taken to the piano, honed her highly specialized sense of humor, tortured her brother endlessly and proven that, at least in her case, bald truly is beautiful.
Jorgen seems to have lost all Swedish language skills, and maybe English, too. He has done really well in school but has a reputation for refusing to smile when a camera comes out, and won’t talk to anyone outside of his immediate “circle”. Add that to the fact that the kid will ONLY wear jeans (most of which have holes in the knees) and long sleeved shirts…well, he marches to his own beat. I can’t even say he’s still a Mama’s Boy, much to my dismay. He has discovered baseball, so Dad has eased into the hero position…right where he deserves to be. I still see glimpses of that sweet boy who loves his Mama when he and Jeff are out playing catch…after each “catch”, he glances my way with a sly smile, just confirming that his number one fan is watching.
In the course
of this year, we lost our sweet Wheaten Terrier, Maya, and despite my declaration that we would never get another dog, a few short months later we rescued a boxer named Connie. She has been a fantastic addition to our family, other than her Southern bias against cold weather…I can’t say I disagree with her feelings about peeing in the cold. Connie lets us know, every single day, that she is grateful that we rescued her…the fact is, she has had a part in rescuing us!
As for Jeff and I, well…not an easy transition back for either of us. One of the great things about a sabbatical is that you step away from the daily responsibilities of your job and focus on something new that will enhance your future work. Jeff did that very well. However, he came back to many of the same challenges, and some additional ones. Fortunately, he is an excellent professor and is so well suited for his position. Many times over this past year, we have declared how lucky we are that he has a job that is dependable. That is a blessing in these difficult economic times.
As for me, I’ve
tried my hand in the non-profit area, and found that I don’t have what it requires. I’m currently decorating cakes at the local grocery store. Being a bit of a food snob, I had to suck up my “from scratch” pride and dig into frozen cakes and buckets of “Bettercream” icing. It wasn’t easy…until I saw the first little girl light up when she picked up her Princess themed, covered-in-pink-fluffy frosting-ed- birthday cake. No pride necessary, these cakes make people happy. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, but I’m becoming ever more clear on what I DON’T want to be. I miss my Swedish friends, I miss planning the next big adventure and I’m sad to admit that I can no longer really translate the postings of my Swedish friends on Facebook.
We found that not a lot of people ask about our year abroad, but that’s because it was OUR year abroad…our adventure…it matters most to us. I totally get that. Those of you reading this already know about the adventures, so we wouldn’t expect you to ask. So we talk to each other about the fun we had,
we look at the pictures often. I do, from time to time, get asked if we’d do it again. Yes. That’s the simple, honest answer. The year may have put our kids a bit behind on their academic paths (barely), it may have up-ended the social lives of one or more members of our family, we’ll be paying for several years (literally), we whined a lot about wanting to be “home”, but we would absolutely do it again.
This time last year, we were sending our last American visitors home and heading to the Volvo Ocean Race in Marstrand with our dear friends from Oslo. We were anticipating that delightful Midsommer Party in Husaby (oh, how I wish we were heading there next week!), we were filling every moment with “farewell” occasions with the people we met and knew we were going to miss and we were desperately trying to figure out how to get all of our “stuff” into 5 suitcases and 5 carry-ons. This time last year, we had no idea how much we would miss Sweden.
This time this year, we are still, and always will be, The 5 Swedish Meatballs - we are just a little more seasoned than this time last year.
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Keith and Pete
Postcards from Europe
you are right...
about living in Sweden being "your" year abroad. Not many ask us about our time in Europe either. But not a day goes by that Keith and I, don't mention, to each other, some aspect of that "other life" we experienced. I enjoy those little looks we give each other, when some random thing concerning Europe pops up in the media, or in someone elses' conversation! We have all, and I mean all, of our photos rotating on the computer monitor as our screen saver, and it continuosly sparks memories, just for us. Sounds like your life now, is full of the challenges that come with "ordinary" family life, and also sounds like you are handling it extremely well! I like your phrase "While living away, it’s easy to forget the daily drama. Easy and an absolute gift."! Hears to never forgetting the "gift" of your life in Sweden... Happy Midsommar, Minnesota style!