The demise of the Asian Squat

---

Tuesday 08 June

It’s day 64 of 182 today, hard to imagine that we are 1/3 of the way through our trip. We left NZ with little advise on travelling as a “flash packer” family, or with one as young as Lauren. Over Xmas I found a book, written by a NZ couple from Northland, that documented some of their experiences in Europe and a few other continents. But this book, while useful, clearly did not cover it all. What we can add so far is that family travel never leaves you lonely. It’s a great experience, and we are having a ball. I am not sure having the kids have opened many doors, but equally, they soon help to elicit a smile when things might otherwise get tight.

For those of you with 12 year old daughters, who yearn for the days of hand holding, I suggest you take your kids overseas. For the first few weeks, one of the most discernable behaviour traits from both kids, is how closely they shadowed us. Molly’s hand was firmly clamped in Dad’s, and Lauren would not take her eyes off Frances at all times. Thrusting the kids outside of their comfort zone triggers an immediate reaction that puts the kids “under your feet” at all times. If we paused in our walking, they would walk into us. Then they would simply walk around us, get right into the space in front, and patiently wait. Molly in particular found herself constantly being tripped over. While it was nice at first to have the closeness, it’s a bit more pleasant after 57 days, now that they have eased off somewhat. Molly is much more at home in large crowds and Lauren, while never letting Mum out of sight, is a lot more relaxed around people.

Lauren really has been amazing. She responds to everything. There has been almost no homesickness, and “home” is simply last night’s hotel. We have brought a stroller with us, and for the first month it was invaluable. It’s also damn useful to load bags onto when moving around to trains, buses, hotels, with or without her in it. But I suspect she is rapidly losing the need. Certainly few local children are ever in strollers, and I am sure her own fitness, intrigue and strength are quickly making it redundant. To be fair in a place like Hanoi, it would have been impossible to use. Roads are narrow and clogged, the strip of concrete between the road and buildings not a footpath, but a motorbike parking zone, therefore effectively leaving space to walk akin to walking a mine field.

Bed time slips to be too late most evenings, and the price we pay is never getting early starts. But it does mean we miss a couple of the cooler hours each day. We eat out almost every evening and ,with two kids in tow, we occasionally empty out any other westerner backpackers enjoying a quiet beer, as the noise and ambiance starts to change with our arrival, particularly when the multi-versed nursery rhymes are sung at full volume with little regard for adult decorum!.

On the health front, Lauren has been 100%. Molly and Bernard both had only sore throats, with a subsequent cough that have now all gone. Frances and Bernard have both been mildly effected by too much beer (hard to believe) which tends to loosen up the daily constitutional occasionally ( - OK, too much information, I know). But overall, the two large packs of medication remain untouched, although here in the centre of Laos, it’s a comfort to know we are prepared. At worst, Frances had to prescribe a couple of days off the beer to settle things down. Fortunately that’s over now and the body has triumphed over the product.

Accommodation is much better than expected, and cheaper. Excluding Hong Kong we are spending less on average than NZ$50 a night on accommodation. The majority of nights we get 2 rooms, as triples are common, but quads rare. Other than some exceptions, we always get air conditioning, private bathroom, all linen and TV. If forced to share, a balcony or courtyard normally provides respite at “go to sleep” time. On the whole, for $25 you get a lot of hotel room in SE Asia. We could harp on about the inadequacies of plumbing and the hopelessness of construction techniques, but in reality, we are just visitors passing through. We have not seen bed bugs and we always (with maybe one exception) get clean laundered sheets. What more could you want??


There is one thing that disappoints me, and it’s the constant reminder that the world is becoming so much more homogenous and that individual cultural traits are being abandoned. I make the comment as an arrogant and well-off Westerner, and we must understand everyone is chasing the same wants and desires in the world, and this right is given to us all. But this is not the SE Asia of 20 or 30 years ago. No, it’s just another part of the rapidly diffusing culture of the world. We can watch Manchester United play Everton in our bedroom, we can go on line almost anywhere courtesy of free broadband, we can always find someone to speak English and need not bother ourselves with learning the courtesies of the local language, noisy air conditioning has replaced natural ventilation and quiet fans, Heineken is replacing Beer Hoi, the peasants wear clothes that we can only buy in expensive fashion boutiques in Newmarket, sweet banana pancakes appears as a breakfast option everywhere, pizza is on the menu of all but the most basic eating house, night markets contain coffee stalls and street sellers have rap music blaring in the background. Worst of all, the “Western Toilet” reigns supreme. Despite no qualifications to pontificate, I am certain that the health benefits of the traditional Asian squat significantly outweigh the “read a magazine” inducing Western sit down mode. But despite the probable physical health benefits, despite the ease of use, despite the cleaning benefits, despite the lower cost, it seems to me that in desperation to satisfy this need to service or imitate the West, it’s likely the health benefits of the squat will be abandoned, to ensure we can all sit in comfort on the loo, reading our Lonely Planet and wondering where the old Asia has gone.

We flew from Hanoi to Vientiane, reminding ourselves that 3 days of bus travel was not the way to treat the kids, and felt like we had arrived in Dunedin. Laos is a stunning reversal of other Asian countries. It’s largely empty, with only 6.5 m people over a very large land mass. Vientiane, by far the largest city of 200,000 people. The vast majority of Laos people are subsistence farmers and hardly contribute to the GDP. Revenue is limited to tourism, forestry, mining concessions and illegal trade. Almost everything is imported and as a visitor, the prices jump from what we have experienced. I talk to an Australian woman (actually she talks to me) who lives in Luang Prabang. Laos is a basket case, and the moral turpitude of NGO’s and the UN, have my new Aussie friend in full swing. She regales Molly and I with a list of stories that make one’s head shake endlessly. She can’t fabricate this detail and her stories only go to support my deep beliefs that the UN is a good home for our Helen. Given Helen thinks she has a calling to right the wrongs of the world and balance society, she may spend the rest of her useful life battling away inside the convoluted, self-serving corridors of the UN, all to little avail.

Vientiane is calm, almost an oasis after Hanoi. We appreciate the architecture, the cute hotel, a couple of excellent meals and a slight reprieve in temperature. Our next stop is Vang Vieng, nothing more than an example of enterprising commercialism to meet the need of backpackers who find the trip to Luang Prabang too long. All over Vietnam, every north bound tourist proudly wears a “tubing in the Vang Vieng” singlet. Molly has to tick this off, so we spend 4 hours floating down the saturated mud Nam Song River, sweltering in the sun, and wishing I had brought a wide brimmed hat! Lining the first few km’s are bamboo and thatched bars, built on stilts over the river. Some have huge slides, some “mud tug of war” play pens, some huge rope swings over the river. Others just have a sound system Jonah Lomu would have envied a few years back. The sound reverberates over the river, and I wonder again, if this is their idea of fun, or just an attempt to Westernise. Eventually the noise and degradation fades away, and Molly and I stop for a late lunch at a bar /restaurant that has around 10 individual thatched cabanas on the river. We sit on the straw mats, atop the mud floor, and I am pleased to see all Lao faces around. A road leads to this section, and people drive down here to escape the heat. We simply lounge for an hour or more, regretting that Frances and Lauren are missing out. I even borrow a cell phone to try and organise them to come out, but the hotel can’t find them. It’s frustrating, just when we decide to split for an afternoon, that Molly and I should then find somewhere so peaceful, cool and relaxing, knowing that they are back in hot, dusty and somewhat unattractive Vang Vieng town. I regret having not earlier sought better information about the trip, and better planning the day so we could have shared it together.

A tough 7 hour bus trip gets us to Luang Prabang. What a delightful place. Named by UNESCO as a World Heritage site, or as my Aussie friend Ruth would suggest, used by UNESCO to employ lots of farangs, live lavish lifestyles, hold endless conferences, provide nice NGO contracts back to French owned firms and generally waste a lot of resource, it really is special. Not only is it full of temples, but they are all “alive” filled with monks and as active today as they have ever been. The river setting, the “crumbling” French architecture and the easy scale, are bewitching. It’s so relaxing, 2 days pass and we feel like we have done nothing. I guess that’s another facet of family travel: the necessity to chill out. The need to let Molly have a day doing nothing; the need for Lauren to have a day playing games around the hotel room. After struggling to slow down initially, these days are now coming along more easily, with buy-in from all.

A particularly interesting and culturally different feature here, is the daily alms procession just after dawn. At 0545 hrs, the couple of hundred Buddhist Monks walk a specified route and are presented with sticky rice and other stable foods by what appear to be all the women of the town. Unable to eat in the evenings, and unable to grow or prepare food, this is no Monk show for the tourists; it’s a tradition dating back hundreds of years and, as we watch one morning, the enormity of the sacrifice made by the vast majority of Lao men, sinks in. The temples are full of boys and young men, potentially seeking a source of education unavailable without money. Maybe they are here to help feed an extra mouth at home, or maybe it’s just a son’s calling, but the sense of spirituality here restores some of my concerns about the degradation of the Asian countries.

It’s particularly the move from China into Vietnam and Laos that has demonstrated the Westernisation. While China has opened up to internal travel, international visitors there are a blip on the overall tourism market. But here, in Laos, we must surely be one of the main export sources. And in response, it seems everything is geared towards us and NGO workers. Since the move from China, we have moved much more into the backpacker trail. Suddenly, we are on VIP buses exclusively populated by Westerners, surrounded by restaurants that have never seen a local Laotian or Vietnamese eat there and are part of the “trail”. Vientiane, Vang Vieng and Luang Prabang particularly demonstrate a dependence on tourists that almost makes me sad. Like a drug addict unable to fix, Luang Prabang looks eerily deserted, desperate for more people. Aussie Ruth tells a sad tale of despair. Northern Laos and Thailand are under severe drought conditions, like Southern China, and as a result, the Mekong is incredibly low. The impact on the subsistence rural community in impoverished Laos is shattering. Natural food supplies are diminishing, fish - a food staple - is in severe decline in the river, water supplies are running dry and whole villages are on the move, trying to get to where water is available. The World Financial meltdown has seen massive reduction in spending and employment from NGOs and, at the same time, visitor numbers have plummeted. Ruth suggests to me that visitors here are down to 30% of what they were 2 years ago. The evidence is compelling. Our first 3 nights in Luang Prabang have been stunning in their solitude. Guesthouses appear closed, or almost empty. We are the only diners at night in two of the three restaurants we have chosen. Tuk Tuk drivers rest peacefully in their hammocks, happy they are not missing a fare. The night market, at least 750 metres long, is a delight, albeit devoid of shoppers. But despite this, we are enjoying Laos very much. It’s calm, it’s laid back and yes, it’s like Dunedin, only 30 deg C hotter!

So back to where I started. Family life continues, though in a different form. There are times of stress and we are all still learning to cope with being in each others pockets 24/7. But the rewards appear to be rich. Molly, despite some ambivalence to begin with, has vowed to stay with us for the full 6 months despite understanding she can go back to her Mum at any time, if she decides. She seems to be enjoying things more and more, but as many of you will appreciate, getting the feedback from a 12 year old is not easy. At times it seems she only has a repertoire of 20 questions; what is the next city we are going to again Dad, will there be pirated DVDs there, will you take me shopping, is there WiFi at the next hotel, can we get a DVD player at the next hotel, can I have a Mango shake, how long are we in Laos for again Dad? Despite the repetition, there are many lovely moments, and while one tends to focus on the more mundane, its fair to say she is having the time of her life. Frances has her frustrations, particularly with Lauren so dependent at times, but Frances thrives on the approach Lauren always shows. Bernard, well, he is difficult, grumpy and generally only happy when getting things his own way, but by about 5.00 pm each day, as we contemplate through another Beer Lao, we realise that’s just the way he always is. (and forgive him his sins. Ed)

Next instalment…..the family go off to learn to ride Elephants!

PS. Fonterra and the Danes have been noticeable in their absence in Vietnam. But here in Laos, the Danes are clearly using their hard fought EU status to partner those pesky French in the preferred supplier status around these parts. Fonterra is nowhere to be seen.

---

Photos

Vientiane Temple
No its not our hotel

Vientiane Wat
While we struggled to see the splendour, we are assured its a sight to behold at sunset. We just never saw it then.

The vertical runway - Vientiane
The Americans donated a pile of cash for a new runway in 1962. They got this instead!

Kids fav time of the day
For even less than the price of a beer...

A nice part of Vang Vieng
An explosion of tourists, delivers new and cheap acommodation. This was particularly nice

02 June 2010
Luang Prabang, 4th wedding anniversary and only the 3rd bottle of wine in 2 months!

Luang Prabang
Dad was more taken with the bears than the others. Mum was back in town at cooking class...

Sok Dee Residence
More delightful accommodation, a little dearer, but 2 lovely rooms for about $70

Outside the Hotel
Unlike the French next door, I chose to follow the very clear requests all over town and try and remain discreet in my observation.

Waiting for the Monks
Thats AM by the way

Beside the Mekong River
Despite the mozzies, a lovely place, all be it dining alone again.

View over the Mekong
The worlds 12th longest river, flows through 6 countries. Its besieged with problems, from damn building, to loss of fish stocks and low water flow.

Comments

[Kim and Mark Gunning]

Vietnam
Dear Bernard and Frances, Molly and Lauren!! So good to hear from you all and I offer a thousand apologies for not getting back to you. Loved your blog and look forward to reading the next installment. I think you are both fantastic and honest relating your experiences with family and experiences. Both the girls will look back on so much if not at the present in the future and I am sure it will give them both the travelling Bug later on. Can't imagine taking the four (almost) year old, let alone a 12 year old. Bernard loved you epistle of sights and sounds of Laos. Everyone that has been to Vietnam says it is a must. Hard to believe you are so hot. Not missing the wind rain and generally cold here is nz?? Lift busy, rat race blah blah so enjoy this prescious time!! We are out here and reading. xxxxxxxxxKim and Mark