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Published: March 26th 2010
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me and the masked man...just one kiss...just one!Well, I can gladly say I’ve only seen the poop man a few times since the last time I wrote. I actually thought he was finally gone and probably jinxed things by saying so. Yesterday, he was back. Although, I think I will now take him over the new guy. The new guy appeared before when we leaving for school this morning. Somehow, I find it a hard toss up between the guy that craps all over our grate and this guy who enjoys mornings with his hands clearly down his pants. I don’t just mean a little down there. I mean all the way down there, scratching and then bringing his hand back up, staring at whatever he found before flicking it in the air. Luckily, I wasn’t standing close enough to see what he was pulling out from down there. I hope that’s something I never get to see. Jaclyn thought it was the original guy, but nope. We are blessed to have to crazies hanging out outside on the corner.
Maybe they’re not all that crazy. Maybe it’s just normal here to do strange things in public. In the last week or so, I’ve seen more than
my share of oddities. Take the guy that scratched himself up against a pole, or the guy who reached down into his pants to readjust himself. I know the stomach rub is quite normal in Central America, but Guatemalan’s seem to be taking it to the next level. The original version of the stomach rub is to lift the shirt up over your stomach (usually beer belly), let it rest there while you stand on the street rubbing. But the newest version also includes nipples. Now, the shirt is lifted almost to the shoulders, while rubbing your stomach and reaching up to rub the nipples as well. It gets a little creepy when they do the nipple rub while staring at you, at 7 in the morning. But, maybe that’s just my personal opinion.
I seem to be hitting my personal limit with annoyances as well. I’m a pretty easy going, laid back person, but lately I find myself trying to burn holes in people with just my eyes. I can’t help it. The things that are driving me crazy are pretty normal, common courtesy issues. I’m not sure how to deal with them though. I want to tell
the person to please, please make it stop. All of the issues are with only one person. It seems that everything they do drives me up the wall. Maybe it’s the way I was raised, I don’t know. I think table manners are pretty important. I can’t even stand to be eating when this person eats because it just ruins my food. I end up just staring at them, hoping they will see the glare and pick up on the fact that what they’re doing is absolutely disgusting. If it was just one problem, maybe I would bring it up with them. But, it’s turning out to be several and they’re piling up. There’s some that I can handle if I just try harder. The ones that involve food though, are making things really hard.
But, next month I’m finally breaking down and buying a t.v, so hopefully I can just turn up the volume and ignore what’s going on around me. This is a pretty huge purchase for me. The closest thing I’ve bought to something big is a sandwich maker and I split that with Jaclyn and it was pretty cheap. This is going to cost half
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Anthony singing a song for the birthday girl my check next month, but it will be so completely worth it. I don’t care that I’ll be eating bean sandwiches everyday for a month. At least I’ll be doing it from the comfort of the living room. Not only am I buying a t.v, but Jaclyn and I are also splitting on living room furniture. You just can’t have a t.v. while sitting on the floor. Sorry, we don’t sit on the floor. We sit on hard cushions that are on the floor. It’s about three inches form the floor, so it ends up being about the same. After three months, our living room will finally be more than just an entranceway to the kitchen.
We usually sit in the kitchen, or in our rooms. But recently, Jaclyn and I have come up with a secret hide out spot. The roof. We went up there a few times before, but recently we’ve been spending quite a bit of time up there. We go to the store, grab a beer and go sit on our roof. It’s almost like going out. We’re out of the house, or shall I say kitchen. It’s nice up there. Sometimes we don’t grab
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The stage in Central Parque beers, we just sneak up there for a breather, just to talk or just to hang out. A couple of our friends know that if we don’t answer the door, they should come upstairs and see if we’re up there. We usually are.
In fact, this week, a friend of ours stopped by and we all went to hang out upstairs. I’ll have you know that that night I had a non stop, back and forth three hour conversation all in Spanish. When I finally came down to go to bed, I couldn’t help but smile. It’s like something’s clicked and it all makes sense now. Of course, not all of it clicks. For the last three months, I’ve been speaking only in the present tense. Whenever my friends make fun of me for it, I just tell them whatever…I’m living in the present…not in the past.
But, that’s not going to be the case for much longer. My Spanish teacher almost threw me a party yesterday. I’m not even kidding, she was very excited. I am officially finished the present tense. I’m moving on up! We’re finally working on the past tense now. What she doesn’t know is
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Me and Jaclyn showing off our natural talents that for the last two weeks, I’ve been working on the past tense in an online class. She’ll just think I’m super quick and super smart when classes resume. I know how to conjugate a few verbs already and will hopefully have some more time to work on it this coming week. Either way, I’m really excited to be able to finally speak in something other than the present.
On Friday night we went to Parque Central to watch our friends band play. It was actually a lot of fun. When we got there, there was a comedy show going on. I wouldn’t actually call it a comedy show. It was more comedy skits actually. It was to celebrate the initiation of the university students. It’s a actually quite a cool tradition. The university students wear these crazy looking masks and walk around trying to sell you a paper that pretty much makes un of people in politics and people in town. I bought one the other day, but nobody I knew was in it. Anyway, they put on this show in the park and the things they were talking about shocked me, considering there were little kids there.
It seemed as though at least half of Coban was there. It was packed. The skits were hilarious. A little raunchy, but that’s what made them even funnier.
The main guy was wearing some strange cowboy get up and pretty much left nothing to the imagination. He had jokes about sex, anal sex, sperm, everything. There were a few English phrases as well. My favourite that night would have to be “stick it in my ass.” I couldn’t believe how many kids were there, watching a skit about sex and sperm. But, apparently this is also part of the tradition and everyone knows what they’re getting into by going there. I, on the other hand, had no idea.
Some of the university students came up to us and started taking pictures. Actually, that wasn’t the first time that happened. Just the day before, Jaclyn and I were walking and a truck slowed down, rolled down their window and took our pictures. Either way, it was weird. Having guys in weird hoods come up to and start taking your picture. Then, they asked if they could get pictures with us. I thought, well, if they’re taking some, I want
some too. So we took some with my camera. But only a few. One of them asked if he could give me a kiss. So, somewhere here in Coban there’s a picture of masked man kissing me on the cheek, mask on and all.
Our friend’s band played after the skits, but I was over it. I don’t like that kind of music at all. It was some depressing sort of classic rock. Not exactly what I was looking for on a Friday night. So, Jaclyn, myself and a few friends took off to try and find a bar that we hadn’t been to before. Since I’ve been here, I’ve wanted to try this bright green bar.. It says VIP on it, so it has to be cool right? Actually, it ended up being really cool. We got a few buckets of beer and took over the top floor. When I say top floor, I really mean possible rotting wood enclosed by a fence. Very safe. When all of us were dancing, I wondered if we were going to end up on the first floor. The wood was creaking under me and that says quite a bit, considering the
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Jaclyn and the masked man music was really load.
I danced so many different type of dances to so many different types of music that night. I’m finding the steps way easier these days. I think it’s because I practise a lot. Every weekend and sometimes and during the week, I end up dancing with someone somewhere. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that one of my closest friends, Anthony, is a dance instructor. Dancing with him takes absolutely no effort. He can lead like nobody’s business. Whenever I dance with him, I always feel like I know what I’m doing. But, it’s quite obvious I don’t quite know it all. As soon as I dance with someone who’s just an average dancer and not so great at leading, I find myself forgetting what I’m supposed to do next. But, I guess that’s just all part of the experience. I’m learning and that’s what counts.
Saturday was of course, our party. It was the first one we’ve actually put effort into as well. The other two ended up being more impromptu parties. This one, Jaclyn and I invited a ton of people. It’s amazing to see all of the people that we’ve made friends with
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My new party cup! in just a few months. I’m quite obviously a very friendly person because there were a lot of people there and even more met us later at the bar. It was fun. We made new party cups and they seemed to be a hit. Mine was I Touch Myself, Jaclyn’s was Crazy Bitch and Emily made her first one, which was Go Shorty. It seemed that not a lot of people actually knew the song that was on my cup, so it ended up being even funnier because I had to sing it several times. I think they were messing with me and they just wanted me to keep repeating I touch myself. They got to hear it in both Spanish and English. Memo brought over bunch of food and flowers. Julio brought enough alcohol to last us a few parties, but who’s complaining. After the party, we all hit up Tantra. Well most of us. Emily was a little tipsy and was only there for possibly an hour. The night was fun though. All of Oxford was there, it seemed.
While dancing, I looked around and noticed something quite out of the ordinary there though. I elbowed my
friend Debbie to get her to look as well. Sure enough, I wasn’t crazy. There was a kid in there. What’s worse is I know whose kid it was. One of the teachers from my school brought their kid to the bar. I’m all for liberal parenting and being a cool hippie type person. But, I think I draw the line at my eight year old dancing around a bunch of strange people gyrating on one another. It just seemed to strange to me.
Sunday, we just kind of hung out. Emily was one hurting unit so she wasn’t up for doing much. Anthony and us girls went to our new favourite papusa restaurant, had some lunch and then walked around in the rain looking for some movies to buy. We ended up grabbing a few and then coming back to the apartment for a good fashion movie day. Anthony grabbed all of the chips he could possibly find at one the tienda’s and we had a ton of pop left over form the party, so it worked out perfectly. We watched Paranormal Activity and then watched Couple’s Retreat. By the time the second movie came on though, everyone
but me was passed out. Remember though, we have no furniture, just cushions. So all of us were huddles together on two cushions. We looked like some strange human cacoon. It was comfy though. It will be way better when we actually have furniture though.
This Sunday ended up being a close second to the Sunday before it. Now that night was way too fun. I love how impromptu parties happen here. Our friend called us and said that we should go grab a drink around the corner from our house. We walked over there to find our friend and most of his friends, already drunk. I figure, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. And that is exactly what we did. The owner gave us free reign over the music, so we ended up singing and dancing the night away to New Kids On The Block, Phil Collins and even a little bit of George Michael. Jaclyn and I managed to bust out into a rap song, which surprised everyone, and possibly even myself. For some reason lately, school nights are no longer important. As long as I get to bed before midnight…it’s all good.
Tomorrow I
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Our friend's band will be learning yet another type of dance. I’m going to a belly dance class tomorrow with the other teachers. It’s just for an hour, but I’m hoping it’ll be fun. There was also the other option of starting up a yoga class with one of the teachers, Cassandra. But, it would held at the school and honestly, the last place I want to be after work, is the school. I think 11 hour days most of the week s plenty of time to be spending there. So, no. No yoga for me. Belly Dancing seems so much cooler anyway.
The class is right after Splash Day tomorrow. That’s right. There’s no actual classes at school tomorrow. We are all going to a students house with pools, water balloons and food, for a day of fun in the sun. It’s a nice way to end out the week and an even better way to start out Semana Santa. So, cheers to me for finishing Term 1 this year.
I must say, the house is looking absolutely gorgeous these days. I went on a cleaning spree last weekend. I wanted the house to look good for Emily’s Birthday Party,
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Our sparkling new kitchen but also, I was sick of living like a bunch of dudes. It wasn’t actually that bad, but it just seemed like things were looking a little grimy. Anyways, after only 5 hours of intensive cleaning, the whole apartment was gleaming. I knew that things wouldn’t be looking quite so snazzy the next day. But, it was all worth it. I got rearrange things and now it looks like we actually have some room in the apartment.
Oh, and I have some very exciting news. I am officially legal here. Not that I was doing anything wrong before, but I actually have a paper now that says I should be here. I don’t have to leave the country every three months and I think there are some other fringe benefits too. I can now say that I will be here for the next year to see more of the weird things that I see on a daily basis. Take for instance, the things people carry on their head here. It still shocks me. I don’t even know if I could carry a book or a bean bag for that matter. Yet, the woman here have magical skills that allow
them to carry turkeys in a basket, on their head. I’m not kidding. The turkey actually turned it’s head and stared at me. I think he saw a friendly vegetarian face. It’s just my theory.
I’m pretty sure that a few of my student’s parents will also be pretty happy to hear my new status. We had a parents meeting last week and apparently, I’m a really big deal. Some of them asked me how long I was going to stay. They kept saying they’re going to have to find me a Guatemalan boyfriend so that I don’t leave. They’re too funny.
Also, I’m pretty sure that if I bring my work visa to the touristy places here, I won’t get charged the ridiculous amount of money they charge everyone. They have two different prices for everything around here. The Guatemalan price and the Grino price. I’ll definitely be bringing my paper with me the next time I want to hit up a tourist spot. Who knows when that will actually be though. I haven’t managed to leave Coban once yet. I’m still putting every coin I get in my Livingston Piggy Bank and it seems to be
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Our new cabinets. It almost looks like a real kitchen! adding up quick. But, now I just need to find the time to get away.
I can’t complain though. Semana Santa is right around the corner. In fact, it’s tomorrow. I can’t even begin to out into words how excited I am about this week off. Not just because I won’t be in class, but because I desperately need to get out of this city and now I finally can. Coban is cool, but I want to see other places too. So, I have my plans all set out. Tomorrow morning, after we eat at the porn restaurant of course, Jaclyn and I will be boarding a bus bound for Antigua. Two days there will be plenty. We are going there especially for the volcano. I’ve always wanted to climb up a volcano and I figure why not climb up an active one. Go big or go home right? I just hope that my shoes can last. I’ve heard and read many stories about melting shoes. Shoes are expensive here, I can’t afford to buy another pair. I’ll have to walk around with melted shoes for a few months if that’s that case.
After Antigua, we are heading
to El Salvador. My brother and step dad are there already. It has been killing me knowing that they are so close, but that I can’t see them until I go there. They even went to Guatemala City to see a concert. Guate is only 4 hours away from me. That’s nothing. I wanted to go, but I just couldn’t make it. Anyway, We’ll be spending three days with them. I can’t wait. I’m so excited to see them. I’m not going to lie though. I’m also pretty excited about what they brought with them for me. They have a book of Sudoko puzzles, my movies and a BLENDER!
I’m pumped about the movies and of course about the puzzles, but nothing compares to the excitement I have about the blender. Do you know all of the things you can make with a blender? I’m sure there’s a ton. But, I’m only interested in one thing. Licaudos. Strawberry, Pineapple, Orange, Banana, Cherry…all together…separately. It doesn’t matter. I’ll be able to make any kind of licaudo I want now. Jaclyn and I can finally open our Pulpanopia and sell licaudos. Okay, maybe we’re not quite there yet, but it’s just
an idea.
By the way, I’ve been meaning to finish writing this blog for a few days now. Take yesterday, I was sitting in my kitchen, writing up a storm. Then my friend called. Off to the bar I went to have “a drink.“ “A drink” turned into 7 hours at a dingy, dark pool hall, hovering over a broken toilet trying to shoo a cockroach from crawling on my foot. I guess that song “I Got High” should be my new theme song. I was going to pack, but then I got drunk. I was going to write, but then I got drunk. I was going to do a whole lot of things, but then I got drunk.
Well, I guess that’s it for now. I need to go pack my bags for what is sure to be the best vacation of my life…so far. Bring on the volcanoes, the beers and the blender!
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Julie
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OSCAR
I love all your little stories of the freaks and tours of new places!!But I must say I love Oscar and his porn stash =) Missing you like crazy and wish I was having a beer with you and doing the friday dance!!Have a blast with Atilio and looking forward to more pics especially of the volcano!! Love you !!