24 hour bum ache, frogger, Christmas taches & scorpians

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So we left Vientienne the same way in which we arrived, crammed into a pickup taxi. The only difference was that the passengers were western tourists rather than locals. So the obligatory drive to the bus station was filled with trepidation as to what this night bus would be like. As we were spending a whole day on it I was praying that we would at least have enough leg room to ensure we don't get DVT and the seat reclines partly enough to get at least a few winks. As we pulled up I was pleasantly suprised, it was a big coach that had beds on rather than seats. Instead of the normal bus with two rows of two or three seats it had three single rows of double decker beds facing forward. The bus was brand new and was really comfortable. The leg room was just about sufficient but as the seat reclined most of the way back it would definitely be enough for me to get some beauty sleep.

The only problem with the bus were the rude staff. they had three bus drivers and some woman that collected the tickets. As we were the first on the bus we all chose our seats and plonked ourselves on it. The women then proceeded to scream at us saying that we were in the wrong seats. Most of us had chosen top seats but the lady insisted that these were reserved for locals. Dan, Sam & Dean had got the lower back seats but the lady nearly burst a blood vessel trying to move the rest of us. Barry, Elaine & a guy we met in the taxi called Bobby got the brunt of it as they were the closest to the front and the obviously were getting stressed in return. After 10-15mins of shouting & arguing the lady seemed to accept that she was wasting her breath and left us to it. But she got her own back as she was awful to us for the rest of the trip.

24 bus journey in one paragraph, here I go.... we set off at 8.30pm on the 22nd and arrived 7.30pm on the 23rd. Taaddaa!!!! No really it was like this. We set off, we read books or listened to music (to block out the very loud Vietnamese music videos being played), we took some valium, slept a few hours, stopped a few times and then arrived at the Vietnam border. The border was random, the officials were corrupt and they charge people indiscriminantly to get your passport back, the bus was emptied of our bags onto the side of the street, we carried our bags through, waited for bus to get checked, got back on the bus and then set off for the last 12 hours. A few more sleeps later and we arrived in Hanoi!!!

We arrived in Hanoi at the standard bus stations thats 4km from anywhere and the tuk-tuk drivers are waiting for you to get off before literally jumping on you. We had been given a flyer in Vientienne for a place in Hanoi called Drift backpackers, it was $5 a night (3GBP) and you get your first night free. BONUS!!! So we booked in there but the only had dorm rooms. It was the first time the whole group has stayed in dorms rooms together but the next few days at Drift would be the funniest we have had so far. Drift was probably the best place we have stayed at so far, not just because of the craic we had, but it also had its own cafe on the ground floor that sold beer 24 hours, a large DVD room with couches, free internet and a pool room on the top floor and it was cheap!!!

The rooms has eight bunk beds, eight lockers and a big bathrooom with two showers. Bobby hadnt booked anywhere so he made the 8th person up. It was a really nice dorm and we were all really glad that we would be spending Christmas there. After the mammouth journey we had undertook we chilled out that night and prepared for Christmas eve.

We started Christmas eve off by organising our secret santa and then set off to do our Christmas shopping. I had picked Bobby and Kate had picked Elaine. I obviously had picked the shorter straw as we had only met this guy about 12 hours ago. But I took it as a challenge and vowed that I wouldnt just pick some random tat from the hundreds of stalls in Hanoi.

The first thing we noticed about Hanoi was the sheer volume of traffic. The roads are full of mopeds and the simple task of crossing the road is made into a game of life or death frogger!! The first time was very daunting as they dont even seem to have a comprehensible road-traffic system. Its every man/woman for them selves in what ever direction. Even when they do have traffic lights it still doesnt stop the mopeds turning right from chancing it. Actually CHANCERS is an apt way of describing drivers in Vietnam. They actually do have pedestrian crossings but im certain the Vietnamese just think they are random lines on the road. Sidenote- reading this paragraph back it does sound like Im venting when in fact i actually like it. Its chaos. no rules, no clue and no accidents. With the all the madness we saw on the roads throughout Vietnam I never saw one accident involving another moped, car or pedestrian. Although I didnt like it enough to risk driving round on a moped myself.

After a few hours shopping we found a department store that had our equivalent of poundland. Great for secret santa I hear you say, well your right. Both Kate & I and Dan & Sam all got their presents in one swoop and picked up some fancy dress.I bought Bobby a pair of socks (as Sam had noticed he only had odd ones on during the bus journey) and a pair of 'Bobby diapers'. Yes thats right Vietnam have a brand of nappies called Bobby (If your reading this Bobby Yallop there are so many jokes and banter I could have with this type of ammunition but this blog is rated PG so I wont. We'll just keep it unsaid!!!). I wasnt sure how he would take me buying him so nappies but I hoped that he would take it in jest and laugh at the fact his name is so famous in Vietnam. We made it back to Drift, frogger style, then after wrapping our presents we finshed off perfecting the anticipated Christmas taches and went out to enjoy Hanoi's nightlife.

Elaine had read that on Christmas eve they have midnight mass at St James Church and a Christmas celebrations in the adjacent square. After spending some time there we decided that it definitely beer o'çlock (to be fair we were actually running late for a Christmas Eve, beer oçlock should of been about 6pm) so we made our way to a place called beer corner. It wasnt so much a corner but more like a square with loads of bars. So our Christmas celebrations would begin in earnest and end up with us being completely drunk!! Even now the details are a bit hazy but it involved beer corner, a nightclub on a ship, back to drift, back to beer corner for a lock in, back to drift, Barry & I running round the block naked, sat with a group of Vietnamese outside Drift talking absolute nonsense and then sleep!! My apologises to any of the group that read this as im sure i missed so much out but memory from that night is at the bottom of a bottle of Beer Saigon (a replacement for Beer Laos R.I.P). What I will say is that we had an awesome night and it would of done the good old Birmingham Christmas Eve knees up proud.

I knew it was a top night by the size of my hangover the next day. I havent woke up still drunk from a night out in ages (it only happened occasionally on a sunday morning before football), but I was and to be fair the whole group was. After the obligatory 'happy christmas' to everybody we opened our secret santa gifts. Im pleased to say that Bobby was happy with his gifts and he took the nappies in jest. Due to his reaction I think he really liked his socks also, im now thinking that he only owns odd socks!!! My secret Santa gifts were from Mr Yallop and they consisted of some dodgy looking pants, some mittens and a spring bonnet (im not sure what goes on in his head sometimes), so just to be polite I put them all on. See picture to see what a twit I looked!!!

Then like a personal gift from Santa himself Elaine started the festivities off with a cold bottle of beer, LEGEND!!! Dean took this as a sign to start the party off and added the music to the beers. Due to the fact that the beers was just a top up from the night before we danced around the room like loonatics and started the party early. After a much needed fry-up and more beers we went upstairs to get ready into our costumes. As there were only two showers and 5 guys needing showers and in the interest of saving the planet/water Dan, Barry & I decided to share a shower. Bobby being in the wrong place and the wrong time managed to get dragged into our shower and was what I can only call sexually assaulted by Barry :-) No he wasnt really but i think it was a shock to his system to wake up on Christmas day to four Brummies going absolutely bonkers in the room and then sharing a shower with them. Im not sure if it goes on where hes from but I can definitely say he enjoyed. Considering we only met Bobby 48 hours previously he was well and truely initiated into the group. At some stage during Christmas day Bobby did comment that he didnt know what to expect from his Christmas day away from home but he thoroughly enjoyed it. Job done!!!

So with everyone now in their Santa cotumes we made our way through Hanoi to Hanoi backpackers hostel for our Christmas dinner. A few second glances from the locals as we crossed the road was nothing compared to the looks we got from everybody else having Christmas dinner at the hostel, we were the only idiots dressed up drinking beer at 11 o'clock!! We turned up drunk, looked hilarious and spent the next two hours drinking, taking control of the music, singing and generally being merry while everyone else tried to enjoy their Christmas dinner. Sidenote- over the next few weeks we met up with a few people who were also having Christmas dinner and they assured us that we didnt spoil their Christmas being very boisterous and in fact we in part very funny!!! I can only say that my Christmas dinner, although it wasn't as good as my Nan's, was very nice and we had a cracking day. One that I wont forget in a while. After dinner was finished and the dishes were done (by somebody else not us we were obviously too drunk by that stage) it was time for a bar crawl.

The first bar we went to was mayhem. Everybody that had dinner at the hostel were there and the beers were again flowing. Somewhere in transit between the hostel and bar Deano had picked up a bottle of scorpian whiskey. This is basically a bottle of Whiskey with a dead Scorpian inside. Dont ask I think its a South-East Asia thing. So after we had drank the whiskey Dean decided that it was the Scorpians turn. The waiters in the bar saw what Dean was doing and starting going mad telling him not to do it. Obviously this added fuel to the fire and the Scorpian went from hanging out of Dean's mouth to its final destination, Dean's digestive tract. The reaction from the rest of the bar was a mixture of respect and disgust but it only added to their pre-conceived opinion that we were all a bit mad. As this side-show finished the next one begun, as Barry came out of the toilet Dean, Dan and I decided to start chanting his name. With this the whole bar joined us in a chorus of BARRY, BARRY, BARRY, BARRY. No one knew why but they all joined in. With that Barry was coaxed into standing on the table while everyone chanted his name. While this was happening Elaine walked into the bar and simply said 'Why is my boyfriend standing on the table while everyone chants his name?' Good question I thought and to be honest I didnt know either and neither did anybody else. It was just part of the Christmas day mayhem.

That part of the day ended just after that as most of us had planned to Skype our families so we left the bar and headed back to Drift. After drunkenly skyping our families, well I definitely was, we finished the night off in the pool room as Drift were having a party. The party was a good end to the night as everybody was dressed up and it went on till the early hours. I honestly cant remember what time we were drinking till and my memory of the party was vague so ill just sign off Christmas day with the whole day being brilliant, soooo funny, hilarious, enjoyable, drunken madness!!

K&K
xxx

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Photos

Vietnam
Christmas Eve

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St Joseph's

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Kate rocking out

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Secret Santa

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Bobby looks happy with his 'Bobby' Nappies

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Love this picture

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Mr & Mrs Claus

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The starter was beautiful

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The Scorpian King

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Christmas dinner. Vietnamese style with King Prawns!!

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Both still looking beautiful after a full day drinking

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Not looking so good after a full days drinking

Comments

[bronagh]

;)
helloooooooo! hope ur havin a gud time oliver got his birthday card and loves it.... we all miss you sooooooooooooooooo much love bronagh and the rest xxxxxxx