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Published: March 19th 2006
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Llamas at dawn
Macchu Picchu's photogenic lawnmowers. A few questions for you:
1) You drive a minibus. It has 14 seats. How many people can you carry?
a) 14. You want your passengers to be comfortable and safe.
b) At least 20. Preferably more. With sacks and animals too.
2) You drive a taxi. What safety features should it have?
a) Crumple zones, airbags, seatbelts, ABS braking, etc.
b) None of the above. In fact, if it has them, you should rip them out. And replace them with the following: 1 statue of Jesus, 1 picture of the Virgin Mary, some beads, frilly curtains for the windscreen and most importantly - a very LOUD horn that plays a silly tune.
3) You drive either of the above. Peru's streets make up a grid pattern with many uncontrolled junctions. How should you cross these junctions?
a) Slowly and carefully. Your passengers' lives are important.
b) As fast as you can. As long as you beep your LOUD horn a split-second before you reach the junction, nothing could possibly happen to you.
4) Where's the best place to overtake?
a) A straight section of road with good views and no danger of oncoming traffic.
b) Around the
Musing the view
Cuzco, Cafe Muse outside of a hairpin bend, on a cliff edge, with no knowledge of what may be approaching, preferably overtaking a coach, especially when driving a coach!
If you answered mainly a: come on, live a little! These European notions of "safety" are hugely over-rated.
If you answered mainly b: congratulations! That's the Peruvian way of putting a little more fun into driving. Now get out there and do your best. Or your worst. Whatever.
Back to that bellybutton..
Two buses. Huaraz to Lima, Lima to Cuzco - 28 hours combined travel time - our best yet! The Peruvians make excellent travel companions, either standing up for long periods with their arse in your face, or hurling constantly into clear plastic bags. These bags then make for an excellent game of "coach football".
We set off to explore Cuzco on a Sunday morning but the signs were ominous - a man trying to sell us alpaca jumpers seconds after leaving the hostel, warning us: "agua, mucho agua". Sceptically, we descended into the Plaza, where marching bands and goose-stepping soldiers paraded in front of the mayor - so far nothing surprising for a Latin American city. Then, the
water came. Again. Not so much as Huaraz, but still the same relentless gringo targeting. Muddy water + clean clothes = grrr!
Cuzco is a major tourist spot with seemingly every single Peruvian competing for business. We needed to escape the touts and the water bombers! A plan was hatched: we would head up the Sacred Valley of the Incas to Ollantaytambo, where we we could catch the train to Macchu Picchu. Then we would return to Cuzco along the valley, visiting the numerous Inca ruins on our way.
At Ollantaytambo we opted to go horseriding up to some secluded ruins rather than brave the tourist hordes in the main site. It was a beautiful quiet spot, shattered only by Jim's sneezing (turns out I'm allergic to horses). In the afternoon we weighed up our options. Should we explore the expensive and crowded ruins on one side of the valley, or climb up to the free and empty ruins on the other? You'd better call us tight! A twelve year old boy/mountain goat decided to be our guide, and led us up vertical, invisible paths. A tranquil, and considering the steepness, a much more impressive set of ruins.
We sat overlooking the popular ruins, watching the huddles of colourful tour groups. Good choice!
A late train to Aguas Calientas and we were ready for the centre-piece itself, Macchu Picchu. Now for some myth busting. Please call us stupid if you like but if that is the case we have met a lot of other stupid people.
Myth: Macchu Picchu is at the top of a mountain.
Fact: It is lower than Cuzco, on the side of a mountain.
Myth: The Incas are an ancient civilisation (we thought maybe 2000 years old)
Fact: The Incas aren't that old (they came into existence around AD1200 ) and only became important 300 years later. Macchu Picchu was inhabited for less than 90 years.
Myth: The Incas were very nice, kind people. You'd trust them with your Granny.
Fact: They sacrificed people and made drumskins out of their enemies' skins.
Myth: They were an actual race/breed of people.
Fact: There was only ever ONE Inca at a time. He was the King, something of a giant and owned his own toilet. The rest of the "Inca tribe" were just plain old Quechua people, who have been around
The Big Attraction
The Incas loved symbolism and supposedly Huayna Picchu (the mountain behind Macchu Picchu) makes up the profile of an Inca´s face...squint a little bit more. The tall bit is the nose. for several thousand years and are the chief inhabitants of the Peruvian highlands today. They had no choice in working for the empire (they lived in a type of socialist system, with no free will, no land or produce to call their own).
Having said all that it was a very jolly day out.
The site is fascinating, but by the time we'd paid for our train ticket (British Rail prices), the bus up, the entrance fee, the guide (extremely worthwhile, it would all have been, well, stones, without him), the cash cow feeling soured it slightly. Our friend Ken summed it all up perfectly: "It's all very nice, but my garden wall is about 1000 years older and it's still used!"
Perhaps it was the food posioning that followed that soured it for Jim. A 5.45am train after a night of toilet worship was not jolly (I distinctly wished at times someone would turn me into a drumskin), so we hotfooted it back to Cuzco. This meant missing out on all the other Inca ruins; Mel consoled herself with an English breakfast - a far better cultural experience!
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Sarah and Stu
Sarah Hardwicke
Ken's Wall
I dare say Ken's wall is a lot easier to get to as well? Does it look good at sunrise or sunset? Keep up the good work fellas - love hearing about your dysentery and your escapades :-)