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Published: October 6th 2009
Meet Legs Malone - The Girl with the 34 and a Half Inch Inseam (and the perfect antidote to a vacant birthday).
Dave's turning 31 a week from today, and in true Penny style I'll be missing his big day. (Some of you may remember the "Ill-Fated Year That Dave's Girlfriend Forgot" ... I still blame it on Peruvian altitude, time zone confusion and an anti-malarial brain freeze). This year poor Dave is dealing with pre-meditated neglect. I'll be taking a road-trip to Montreal with Danielle, Cam, Jack and Sam. Yeeeehhaaaarrr!!! (The benefits of unemployment are kicking in).
So to make up for a bout of bad timing, we treated Dave last night to a bite of Legs Malone and her famous burlesque show. Woah, talk about raunchy! Between dancing and stripping, comedy and a bucketload of sparkles, Legs was an absolute gem, inviting Dave on stage with another birthday celebrant for a beer drinking competition. There was Dave, 6'7" ... then Legs, about 6'4" ... then Dave's hapless victim, a pint-sized girl hovering above Legs' bikini line. No prizes for guessing who won!
Poised at the other end of the spectrum was the anti-highlight of the night.
A flabby 'chicken' clucked her way down to nipple tassels and a feathery g-banger. She then flashed her cloacca, sqeezed out a hard-boiled egg and proceeded to eat it. Foul. Time for more beer.
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Mark
non-member comment
tell danielle to pull on a tshirt and put the nipple covers away.