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Published: October 2nd 2009
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On top of Seoraksan
Tallest mountain on the mainland, my first fall in years. I hugged my first Korean man. I’m not sure he appreciated it. I had just been badgering him to let a friend and I spend the night at his house or at least eat dinner with him and his family. It was a no go, but he took it all in good spirits. Chicken soup for the Korean soul. They have the highest suicide rate in the world, by a pretty large margin so I probably saved his life. I climbed the highest mountain on mainland South Korea, Seoraksan. It was occasionally warm and moist, occasionally cold and moist, but always moist. It was beautiful, see photos. Fall is the best season, I love the colors of all the trees in the various stages of death. We hiked 7 hours up, the first couple in the rain, the last 3 in pitch blackness. It was crazy dangerous, and the best weekend I’ve had since arrival, I laughed like I haven’t laughed in a while, which may have been in part exhaustion. Adam and I reached a new stage in our relationship on the trip. Due to lack of space in the shelter we decided to sleep on a picnic table. We
Not all rolling hills
We were well above all the other peaks, and the clouds. walk up to the table and I start getting my sleeping bag out of my backpack. Adam sets his bag down and lays on the table dressed exactly like he was as we climbed. “Where’s your sleeping bag?” “I didn’t bring one, I’m just going to sleep like this.” It was cold as hell. See attached photo, to get an idea of how ridiculous it was, I started laughing uncontrollably until some elderly Korean woman began yelling jibberish at me, which maybe saved my life since I was about to throw up from laughing so hard. Anyway being a good friend and about 32% gay I decided to share my sleeping bag with Adam, but unzipping it and making it into a comforter (not quite ready to zip us both in one bag). An old man slapped me on the leg for stepping on a part of the floor I’m not allowed to step on in shoes. I realize that ignorance of the local customs is no defense as I blatantly abuse them but I'm using it anyways. I take my headphones out whenever I hear an announcement over the intercom at work. No idea why since they aren’t speaking
A whole new level.
Just two dudes enjoying each other's company on a picnic table. what I call a “real” language. The town’s full of phone booths, I’m going to start changing clothes in them. I’m like a superhero here anyways, since they hate the Japanese and I’m from the land of Truman. I'm not going to give my Korean digits out on here, but I will tell you that the last four numbers spell JOEL which is pretty rad. Anyone else find it ironic that my friend from middle school Brian Gretzy's number was 763-ROCK and then he ended up smoking lots of them on the way to becoming a crack head? If he google's himself and this comes up, sorry Brian, but you gotta admit that's amusing. I saw Swayze's Roadhouse at your house so we'll always have that. Pain don't hurt. They have "Olive and Brutus's Chicken" here which I'm assuming is similar to, but not quite as good as Popeye's. I solved my crosswalk dilemma, I don't cross if there are children waiting, if it's an old lady it's like Adam told those elderly Bolivan beggers, "You've lived long enough." Pouring boiling water over a fork cleans it, eh? My #1 form of communication has become the thumbs up. Works pretty
Hot Dog and I
This was one of our guides, if you've ever seen an airplane lose a part in mid flight, then more parts fly off, until it disintegrates, that's kind of how Hot Dog came apart during the climb. Struggling. well, certainly helped me get the best haircut of my life. It doesn't look great but the shampoo and head massage afterwards were the top notch. I love watching people run who are not accustomed to running, it happens a lot here as people try and catch crosswalk lights. Reminds me of my mother and her straight-armed locked elbow run/shuffle I saw in my youth as she left us in the car to quickly jaunt into the store. They have a wheel chair company here, Karma. I'm not sure if they intended it to be funny, but it does make you wonder what bad shit the people did to end up in a wheel chair. Speaking of wheel chairs, the handicapped signs in the US have the person sitting there with their arms straight out in front of them, making them look like old school zombies. The sign here has them in racing, Murder Ball position. A crazy old man on the metro spewed some angry diatribe my way the other day. I would've been offended but he was yelling at the dude sitting in my chair before me. I think for the most part this tends to be true
Giant Buddha
Jenelle and I are straddling Koopa dragons. for humans in general - when the venom is ready to come out it usually does so in the direction of whoever is available - rather than the the source of the anger. Then again that attitude got me in the worst relationship of my life and kept me there for a year, so maybe I should rethink it. When the old man was yelling, I had my headphones in anyways and imagined him screaming about the fine quality of my character and appearance. Having 2400 kids at my school treat me like a celebrity has shown me that I'd be a Ted Turner style celebrity, shut in my house. I'm afraid to leave my office. All of the male teachers sit together at lunch, I'm the only man who sits with the ladies. They either think I'm a Don Juan or a total pussy. I'm guessing the latter. I bought a car air freshener for my apt since it's about the size of a large SUV. I was examining some police riot shields here the other day and noticed that all the shields are designed to be on the left arm, which is good b/c it frees the right
Jessica, Jenelle and I
Some waterfall on the walk down. arm for billy clubbing punks. If I'm ever one of said punks, I hope the cop beating me is left handed and has to hit me with his weak arm. There's this fat kid who rides his bike on the sidewalk in front of my apartment. While I applaud his exercising he's an out of control tsunami of chubbiness and metal which has thrice managed to take me out. They announce on the subway "the doors open on your right" even though they don't know which way I'm facing. Much to my chagrin there are no robot maids here. Everybody and their mother has a robot on their shirt but you know what? Your robot shirts aren't cleaning my apartment. I don't know anybody who loves candy while hating gum as much as I do. The coach from Dazed and Confused (My grandmother's quicker and tougher than you panzies) used to be a running back for the Kansas City Chiefs, Rick Moser.* I’ve also climbed the N. Seoul Tower (their iconic Eiffel tower thing), seen some palaces, been in a few of the changing of the guard ceremonies, somehow, terribly, fallen in with Canadians, eaten a live, still moving octopus
Our crew at night
As it was night for almost half of the hike, thought I'd show you how ridiculous it was that only two of us had lights. (they stick to your cheek), and done some other wonderfully touristy stuff.
Youtube video of the month: Highlights include, but are not limited to using foot to stuff clothes into suitcase (1:14), overcoming Rambo first impulse for the sake of $3,700 mink coat, and the little fade in window of holding hands (2:13).
Book of the month: Just reread Jailbird, which isn't Vonnegut's best but is good.
Movie of the month: The Man From Earth is crazy good, and I liked The Go Getter as well.
Music of the month: The Weakerthans - Left and Leaving is the best thing to come out of Canada since Blair and Juia's union (that was a beautiful wedding btw, or so I heard).
As close as you can get to Bailey’s without your eye getting wet, Creamy beige,
~T
Joel, how accessible are those nuts? ~ My friend Steph, seeking access to my nuts while on the mountain.
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. ~ Barry LePatner
You can't help it but you were born without a heart. At least you
Some palace
Adam, Leslie, Jenelle and I at some palace. tried to believe what the people with hearts believed — so you were a good man just the same. ~ Jailbird
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Josh
non-member comment
Where do I apply to be a buddha?
"I gave you things you couldn't even pronounce." -- undoubtedly true if you bothered to get me anything in your travels. I sent you a Christmas gift once, remember that? Also, your Korean situation does not forgive not mentioning Greinke's ridiculous Cy Young case. Jerk. ascii hearts and all that, I miss you even though we hung out like 3 times when you were back.