Touch of Gray

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YOU DIAPER

I love Udaipur. Very clean city (comparatively) and our last stop on our whirlwind vacation. Udaipur is supposedly the most romantic city in all of India. And luckily, (or unluckily for the Indians who had to deal with it) it was the rainiest season in ten years and the lake is at a nice and high level. Jaipur was known for it’s rugs and Udaipur is known for it’s miniature paintings. Danielle and I bought a rug in Jaipur and unfortunately, we spent more and bought it at one of the tourist trap places because you want to be safe with something like a rug. I would hate to come back home, place the rug down, and then see it evaporate into nothingness. For the miniature, we decided to risk it and buy from a local art dealer. We spent less than half of what the tourist trap store was charging, but we figure that even if it isn’t hand painted, who’s going to tell? If we got ripped, the only one who will know if the guy who sold it to us. The cool thing about the miniatures, is that if you hold them up with a light behind them, it glows and looks pretty cool. In the goal to get a group rate bargain, we bought a few miniature paintings to give out and I am proud to say that my bargaining skills made me proud. If any of you want to save money on your next trip, if you pay for me to come with you on your trip, I guarantee I can make it worth your while as your hired Bargainer. I promise to work hard for you and I think I’ll have a commercial where I have one of you say (like the old Larry Parker commercial); “Eric Bram saved me 2.1 million rupees.”

HOTEL HEAVEN

As I mentioned in an earlier email, our hotel rocks. We’re on the third floor and we have a great view of the lake and watch the drama of the monkeys outside our window. One of the monkeys doesn’t have a hand. I’m not sure why I brought that up, but I just find it interesting and sad. Hands are good and I wonder if the monkey ever wakes up at night and longs for his hand. Or for that matter, if the hand ever wakes up and longs for his monkey. Anyway, this hotel is another converted palace and these great pictures adorn the walls of the past Udaipur royalty. The men have these great bushy moustaches that I only wish I could transfer on the top of my head. One thing you can say about Indian royalty, they sure have great facial hair.

Apparently there is a rivalry between Udaipur and other cities of India because when Akbar was ruler and he attempted to unite India (using money, power and his army in some cases), every city eventually submitted to Akbar’s rule except for Udaipur and remained independent until the Mughals were out of power. Imagine California having it’s own government while every other state is trying to get us to join the rest of them. It’s very Body Snatcherish and Udaipur is extremely proud of its resistance.

ASTROLOGY

Astrology, as you probably already know is huge here. Danielle had her palm read and I had my chart done by an astrologer who needed an interpreter. Some things that will happen to us:

We will have two sons
I’m lucky
Everything I do will happen (whatever that means)
There will be ups and downs financially but eventually up
In 2018 my enemies will be gone (so if you’re an enemy, I’d start packing about now)
Sept 17th, 2006 Good change will happen in my life
My sister will have health problems
I have an understanding wife (duh)
My mother will pass away before my dad

And that’s about it. I’m not too confident about astrology and such, but I’d rather get this than a bad chart. Some of the people got worse readings but I think the astrologer just gave bad readings to the women he liked because he wanted them to go back to his place to get a private reading. Lust breaks all language barriers.

BUFFET

Great great food at this place called Nantraj Lodge. It’s the Hometown Buffet of Udaipur but obviously better food, not as clean, and less expensive. (Less than $1). Our guide recommended this place and it was well worth the .90 it cost. Basically, you sit down at a table. They put a plate in front of you and men with buckets of different types of vegetarian food plop a dollop on your plate. They do this until you are stuffed and shake your head and point to your belly. We were the only Westerners in the place which is the type of restaurant I like to eat at when travelling. I call places like this, "eating with the locals" which is my goal in every new place. Nantraj is actually another name for the God Shiva for those of you wondering where Shiva stays when in Udaipur.

AT LONG LAST…RABIES AND HALLUCINAGENICS

I’m sick. Luckily not diarrhea, stomach sick, but sick nonetheless. It started as one swollen lymph gland that was tender to the touch, but other than a little fatigue, I felt fine. Then after two days of this, the gland went down, and my throat was sore. I went down and looked for any signs of foaming at the mouth. Because we have only three days left on the trip, we decided to have a doctor come to the room. He examined me and said that I’m already getting better, but he prescribed me some medication anyway. With everything, doctor’s house-call and medicine included it cost 700 rupees (around $18). Yes, it’s good to be sick in a third world country. Not really, but at least it’s affordable. And I’ll have extra money to pay for the pillow that I’ve drooled on excessively the last two nights due to being sick. I figure with this illness, Udaipur could hire me out to fill the lake next year if the rains aren’t up to snuff. The bad part about being sick is that I needed a day to rest so Danielle went out without me to shop while I was stuck back at the hotel.

I also had a trip within a trip as I learned a valuable lesson about making sure your medication is not expired. And if your medication is expired, don’t mix that same medication with strange Indian medication. I was sick, so I wanted to sleep to get more rest, so I took a Sonata (prescription sleeping pill). I started seeing flashing lights, I was weeping, laughing, wanting to listen to the Grateful Dead, the whole nine yards. Danielle was freaking out and I was liking the drugs too much to be freaked out. It only lasted for about three hours and afterwards, we looked at the expiration date of the Sonata, it turns out that it expired 2 years ago. We accidentally mixed our Sonata from the previous trip (Asia trip 1 ½ years ago) with this new batch. I’m done with Sonata until I get better, but after that, I might sell them on the black market and get thrown in an Indian jail for 10 years.

The power is off in our hotel from around 10:00am to 3:00pm which is kind of weird, but apparently it’s off in most parts of the city around this time to conserve energy. So from this time, I had to read and write in this thing that I’m writing in right now, and reflect on the two more days I have left in this great country that has a screwed up energy grid. You can’t leave lights on here because you have to stick your key in a slot on the wall in order to get electricity. I learned that Danielle doesn’t like to take showers in the dark after taking the key while Danielle was showering.

BOGGLE

The life-saver of the trip is my Boggle game. Shame on you if you don’t know what Boggle is. It’s only the best invention of all time! It’s great to pass the time when you’re waiting for a plane, your food, or a drink. Speaking of drinks, bought a bottle of Rum for $1.75. I love India. I admit that I was worried about if my Boggle skills would match up with this crowd. I wasn’t worried about the Indian people (I left my Hindi Boggle version at home just in case), I was worried about the various literary types that were going on the trip and I knew that Melanie and Rachel were Word Racer pros (computer game, similar to Boggle). I trained for many months before the trip and found words like:

ERADICATE
And
ERADICATED

I knew that I would dominate. However, I have to admit, Rachel was slightly better than me on this trip. I was more consistent, but when I missed a particular collection of letters, she pounced like Ganesh does when he’s riding his rat. I was well ahead when I missed the big TH ending and Rachel made me pay with a 30 point round and she got me. I, being the Boggle pro that I am have learned from this mistake and adjusted my game so that next time, Rachel will only have a memory of what it’s like to beat me. Melanie on the other hand should spend less time on getting married and work on her Boggle skills which is obviously the priority.

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Photos

Pool area
I love Udaipur

psychic
This is the psychic who told our future

psychic 2
Danielle's reaction to our having two boys...priceless

From a show we saw
Very good show

From a show we saw 2
Regional dancing and such. You know the type

Crazy old woman
This woman was incredible. She started with this one jar on her head and stepping on various objects and then went higher and higher. I'm not going to include every photo, but she got the crowd going!

Crazy old woman 2
And she'd do this little dance that was her shimmying and shaking that basically rocked. If I weren't with Danielle and into women who can carry jars on her head, she would be mine.

caribe
That's my cats name pronounced Kah-ree-bay. Shot in front of a small shrine

Comments

[Veganbill]

Whats the name of that hotel
your hotel seems very nice and i am heading to udaipur in a week... can you email me the name? and any other advice for hotels or guides :) [e-mail] we will go all over rajasthan and gujarat (honeymoon)

[katrina alloiet]

oh my lord
thats wew cool what dat gal was doin da rea\ly realy reay old 1 she is a blooming freak i sware baby look man what is ahe doing>!