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Published: February 9th 2006
I should be either transcribing audio files of interviews with students with disabilities into Word documents or writing up fieldnotes. But, I’m just missing my guide dog terribly right now. So, I thought I would write about it.
As those of you who have been reading my posts since the beginning know, I decided to leave Jill, my Seeing Eye German Shepherd, at my dad’s house while I came to Hong Kong. I explained some of the reasons in my blog earlier. So, I’ll not recount them here.
I anticipated that I would miss Jill a lot. I’m here with no family and only newly-made friends. I’m not used to sleeping alone. While in the States I would call Jill up onto my bed - a Seeing Eye “no no” - and she would lay on her side and put her head on my ankle. She would lay so her head was facing my feet. I think she felt that it was her duty to guard me from all sorts of imagined, or otherwise, strangers. So, she’d lay her head down after circling once. She would smack her lips for a while to get them adjusted just right. Then, we would both drop into heavy sleep. Her warmth and closeness was so comforting to me. She was even more comforting than a husband, since she never rejected me or was angry with me. So, I could trust her absolutely in an emotional sense. And, up to our last semester together, I could trust her guide work fully as well.
When I first got Jill, she didn’t like to lick my face. But, I soon taught her that that was a way I could bond with her. She was never as enthusiastic about it as Livia, my former Golden Retriever guide dog, but Jill liked to show me that she loved me by licking my chin and cheeks.
Jill wasn’t as fun at playing with toys as Livia either. She didn’t understand fetch, and she wouldn’t play tug-of-war. But, she does love to squeal when she’s happy! That doggie can sing so enthusiastically! It’s so heart-warming to hear her! And, she jumps and circles around you when she’s happy to see you. I’m pretty worried that she won’t do that for me when I come home in October. That is a very selfish thing to say, since she’ll be happier if she bonds with my step-mom and dad. But, I still feel that way.
Jilly and I had such a routine established. She was amazing at understanding what I wanted her to do. We would come out of our apartment at Orchard Downs - the complex we lived in. She would wait for me to go down the two steps to the sidewalk. She would generally try to sniff and go potty before getting into position to walk to the bus stop. We’d take the bus into work, because she boycotted the idea of walking the 1.7 miles to my office. We’d get on the bus, and she’d take me to an empty seat. She was so attentive to my body language and mood. So, as soon as I even started thinking about getting off the bus, she’d be standing and waiting to get off. She’d jump off of the bus, and I would gingerly step off to avoid twisting my ankles. She would cop a sniff there at the bus stop too. Then, we’d turn left and walk a few steps to Sixth Street. We’d turn right and walk a block. We would pause and listen for cars. Then, we’d cross Peabody. She’d usually pee at that point, even if it was just a dribble or two. (Doggies have to mark their territory, you know.) She guided me so smoothly and quickly to my office from that point.
Especially after I learned that I would be coming to Hong Kong, I wanted to get in better shape by climbing the stairs to my office. But, Jilly was scared of steps that don’t have vertical slats between the treads. So, we’d usually take the elevator. Besides, that was our routine, and Jill was determined to do what was routine. She’d pause at one door and before the next door which went into my office area. I would open the door, and Jill would immediately go to her place under my desk. Of course, her place gradually migrated outwards to encompass the hallway down which all faculty and students walked. But, they all loved Jill so much that they would just step over her.
I miss the graceful way Jill would get me around obstacles. We could fly along sidewalks and go for leisurely strolls. Walking with Jill was safe and nonstressful. So many people were impressed with her work. She was a beautiful Shepherd with a regal presence. I understand she even prances sometimes!
Here, people are so helpful, and sometimes I really need and am grateful for their help. But, at other times, when they grab my arm or startle me by opening a door for me when I’ve almost found the handle, I get so frustrated. Since I’m a complete novice in Chinese culture and can only speak 20 words in total in Cantonese, I try to remember to smile and say “mm goy”. That means I’m not worthy to have received your help, but I’m grateful. (I think.) Anyway, I am grateful for their help. But, I want to tell them, wait, don’t get this impression of me. Just wait and see what I can do with my dog! We can surmount anything together. She is better than any human guide, and she never forgets to tell me when a step is coming. She knows what I want to do as soon as I decide in my mind. If you could only see us together, you would see me for me, not the fumbling person you think you see now.
I get regular Jill updates now. I hear that she is eating just fine. She’s eagerly taking her arthritis medication. My dad is faithfully giving her her heartworm pills on the first of every month. She is playing with toys, hanging out with my dad in his workshop, and ingratiating herself with the humans and canines alike in the neighborhood. I am comforted immensely by these images and keep clinging to them. But, this Fulbrighter, doctoral candidate, professional woman is missing her like crazy and just wants to squeeze her and smell her fur right now. October is coming soon. Dad, please tell Jill that I’ll be back. And, we’d better have a blow dryer ready. There’ll be a very emotional blind woman coming to the baggage claim area at O’Hare who is going to make Jill’s coat very wet.
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Sarah
non-member comment
Missing you.......
Hi Christie! Thanks for the update. I'm sorry to hear you're missing Jill so. I can only try to imagine what it's like. It does my heart good to hear how well you're doing besides the homesickness. I am so proud of you and am still amazed at what you're accomplishing in your life. I hope you take the time to contemplate all that you do. Love, your sister