Life here in the dorm...

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This last week four new volunteers arrived. Three are from Australia and one from the states. They’re nice, but it seems that all of them have more problems adjusting than other volunteers who’ve been here in the past. Shija, who is in my room (she 29 and from the US) just got married in July and is teaching English here. She’s very American 😊
I thought that if people decided to come here they would understand that the house isn’t a five star hotel and that even though we have the luxury of getting our meals cooked, we’d still have to clean our rooms and bathrooms. I guess I was wrong! Shija did something that upset me very much and when I talked to Miriam about it, she was pretty shocked too. We are four people in the room and with two of them I’ve shared a room for the last couple months. I told them, when they arrived that it would be good to clean the bathroom once a week and sweep the room a few times a week and that this shouldn’t be too much of a problem, since each one of us would only have to do it every forth week (since there were four people in the room). After I cleaned it nobody else seemed to feel responsible to clean, so I talked to them and reminded them again. One girl “volunteered” to do it for the following week, but do you think somebody cleaned the next week or the week after that? NO! I actually had to argued with one of the girls here, since she didn’t think that she should do the shower, since she didn’t use it. I have been the youngest in my room for a while, but I often feel like I’m twice as old as them! 😉
So, of course everytime somebody new arrives I hope that the cleaning-issue won’t be such a hassle, but I guess I’m wrong.
So, yesterday Shija came into our room and announced that she had a solution for getting our room/ bathroom cleaned. Apparently she had talked to one of the local volunteers here and asked her who cleaned at her house. The answer Shija got, shocked me: the girl sometimes hired a orphaned boy! I know that child labor is quite common here, but we are VOLUNTEERS and want to help children like him with English (e.g.) so he doesn’t have to do jobs like cleaning rooms! I guess Shija felt the same, since she then asked about our cooks chores and she got the idea that Mrs. Ba could also clean our room and bathroom (she sweeps the floors in the kitchen and living-room). Apparently the girl talked to the staff here and they said they’d pass it on to the cook. When I heard about this, I was so shocked and very sad. Mrs. Ba is EVERYONES favorite here and a lovely person, and she is definitely NOT our maid!
Miriam and I talked to the staff here, since I would have never been able to sleep with this information without telling them how I/ we felt about it. They agreed that it wasn’t appropriate for strangers or Mrs. Ba to come and clean, since it is also part of living here to clean. I suggested a meeting, so we could talk about our chores and would perhaps have solved that issue for the future. I also think there are some other things that need to be addressed, since the atmosphere here right now is not very... positive. There are a lot of people who are very homesick and regret coming here and it kind of “pulls” all the other people down too.
I think it is absolutely alright to feel homesick and have diffuculties adjusting, since everything is overwhelming and so different. But it seems like that the new people here, arrived with totally wrong expectations and now struggle adjusting. There’s one girl from Australia (she’s 20) and even though we see that she’s having a rough start, she doesn’t accept our help and that makes it very hard to help. For some strange reason, a lot of people when they get here, think that I am so mature and never have any problems (that is what I was told!). But when I talk to them and tell them about my first weeks and my difficulties they realize that it just takes some time to get used to things here and that ALL of us have the same problems! But ... some people don’t see that even after having tons of conversations and helping them.
For example, a month ago Sarah (19) from Austria arrived. She came with the same organisation as me, so we already had something in common (besides speaking the same language). She signed up for staying here for four months and for teaching English. After a few days it was obvious that she was rather unhappy, since she felt intimidated by this big city. So, I thought showing her around and taking her to my favorite places might help her to feel more confident and realize that she could manage on her own, once she knew where she was going. We had a fun day and she seemed to feel a lot better. But a few weeks ago, she talked to the staff here, because she was considering to volunteer up in Hanoi, since the city is smaller and the dorm is in a more rural area than this one. But then she decided to try to stick her time out here, which... she decided to end early, after six weeks, instead of staying four months. I was pretty surprised when she told me about her decision, but even though I personally believe she should have stayed or gone to Hanoi, I do have to say that I also admire her courage to admit that she was just too unhappy to stay and tell everyone (parents, family, friends...).
I have a very good friend (we were in the same class for 12 years!) and she planned to go to Nepal for nine months, but came back home after three. I don’t want to talk about the reasons that made her cut her time short, but she said that even after being there for “only” three months she learned so much (and I can tell she has! 😉) and her decision to leave made her a stronger person. Even though admitting to your family and friends that you’re not happy should be easier than to strangers, it is often A LOT harder, because you’re afraid to disappoint people. I am very glad that I have her as a friend, since she has helped me a lot and can relate to many things, due to her experience in Nepal. When she returned home she started to be trained to become a nurse and I honestly can’t imagine any better person than her for that job!

I hope this entry doesn’t sound like I am complaining, but I thought it would be interesting for you to know how people adjust. 😊

Love, Annika Ai

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Comments

[Astrid Thomas]

DANKE
Hey Annika, danke für deine lieben Worte die du am Ende dieses Beitrags gefunden hast. Mir sind die Tränen in die Augen gekommen! Ich war und bin sprachlos. Ich hab solche lieben Worte doch gar nicht verdient! DANKE für deine Freundschaft!! Ich bin ganz oft in Gedanken bei Dir. Ich freu mich sehr das du nun angekommen bist. Ich hab diesen Punkt wohl nie richtig in Nepal erreicht. Heute frag ich mich oft ob ich zu "schwach" war oder warum ich mich nicht durchgebissen habe. Die einzige Antwort die ich darauf finde ist, dass mein Schicksal ein anderes war. Ich bin nicht traurig darüber das es jetzt ist wie es ist. Es wird schon richtig sein!! Ich hoffe es! Ich bewundere dich, dass du durchgehalten hast und deinen Traum lebst!! Lass dich nicht unterkriegen, mach was du denkst und was dir dein Herz sagt. Auch wenn du viel Gegenwind hast!! Genau das ist es was dich fürs Leben prägt und was dir keiner mehr nehmen kann!! Ich hab dich ganz doll lieb!! Bleib wie du bist. Ich kann mir keine bessere Freundin vorstellen. Wenn man Freundschaft als eine spezielle Art der Liebe betiteln könnte würde ich dir jetzt schreiben: ICH LIEBE DICH! ;-) Bis bald!! Denk an Dich!! Asti