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Published: December 11th 2008
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My body couldn’t take anymore - It was only two days but it was enough. All during the day, just a tube, a lightly flowing river, mountains on the right side, a scenic place but bars. Not just any bars this was something different. This was tubing in Vang Vieng.
Compared to northern Laos Vang Vieng was just okay looking. Johannes in the tuk tuk from the bus station to the centre said, “Gee man, this place looks like a shit hole - this tubing must be really good.”
The expectations, the anticipation was overwhelming. So much so that by the time we got here, there was a sense of anti-climax. Before I left Australia I heard about it, throughout the weeks leading up to it I heard about it. Not once was there disappointment. This place is an experience like nothing before.
The idea is to get a rubber tube the size of a truck tire and drift from bar to bar for about 5 hours covering the best part of 500m. Swing off a few swings, zip lines, slides and whilst there, go in a mud pool. Whoever came up with the idea is a genius.
Why else would anyone come here? Tourism must have jump more than 10 times because of this concept. For most travellers Tubing is the reason to come to Laos. Without this there is no reason. So it is here you party hard like nowhere else in Laos.
Our first day Johannes and I caught the slowest tuk-tuk ride 3 kms upstream. Even bicycles were outpacing us. So this added to the expectations of disappointment and anticipation. On the river after a few mojitos at the first bar, which most people miss, it was time to go tubing. An innocent drop of the tube and sit down for 100m not knowing what carnage was about to begin.
The 2nd bar (which everyone knows as the 1st bar) has a swing from the trees. A bit like an acrobats swing. Generally people swing off and land into the water. Because its not rainy season the tide was at its lowest point meaning the drop is around 6m. This means there were a few big flops in the water.
I was standing there watching, drinking my beer Lao wondering if I’ll give it a go. I thought well if I
do it I have to do something entertaining. So at first I tried to do a pig rooter dive. Where you simultaneously move your arms and legs in and out. But I was pretty nervous and didn’t pull it off. So it was time for my 2nd dive.
The Reclining Buddha - Nerves had gone from the first dive. I swang too enthusiastically and started spinning, not much but enough. By the time I had to let go I gave into the fact I was in for a lot of hurt. Exposing my back from the highest point (not deliberate but from fear) hands relaxed behind my head and SPLASH! The pain of Tubing began.
A roar came over the bar. It was a hit. Knocking the wind out of me. It was so big that even the bar down (Bar 2 as everyone knows it) responded. By the time I got down to that bar people were coming up to me “How’s your back? We saw it from here. Everyone here stopped talking” The pain was intense and I wasn’t even drunk yet.
I was wearing green and gold Aussie boardies, long hair and now sunburnt
looking back. I was pretty much known by everyone as “The guy who did that dive” Even in the last bar of the day people were coming up to me. The next day and even in Pakse which was 1 week later people were asking how I was.
On the second day I decided not to be as outlandish but keep my dives traditional to the Laos area and went with the normal Buddha. Legs crossed and palms together at the chest. Problem with that one was that the first point of entry was my balls so there was a world of pain from that one too.
By the time I did my last dive in Bar 1 on the 2nd day a guy came up to me and said “Man I’ve been watching you for the past 2 days and you must really like hurting yourself.”
But what the Reclining Buddha did was open up various groups for Johannes and I to talk to. The English guys and their group, the 4 girls of various nationalities, the Irish and American girls and their group and various couples.
The 2nd bar was a zip line that
The 2nd bar
but most of everyones 1st bar cuts off at the end flipping you backwards. It was at this point on the first day that the damage of Reclining Buddha was showing. The 3rd bar was similar to the 1st from there it was a long tube to (… that’s right we are tubing along a lightly flowing river) the 4th bar which reaches another level.
The Mud pool bar - At this stage everyone is “gooone” so a pool of mud is looking a whole lot of fun and chaos. There is a hose to help people wash the mud off and that is close to the pool so the surrounding area is slippery. A light nudge is a trip to mud land. And just a quiet note: Man the female body is unbelievable full of mud… but anyway.
After swallowing some mud, wrestling and pushing and shoving its time to wash down and head to the last bar (during low tide). This bar has a giant slide 8m, plus a 4m-drop. I didn’t do it the first day but on the second day I went up with my sunburnt looking back and swollen balls because I had to try everything. I pushed off
but at the same time pushed in the back by a girl and went side to side for 8m. Unable to recover I went over the lip of the slide on my left side landing on my left buttock cheek. The shuddering pain all over my body. It was telling me. “Right that’s it no more. You have to leave this place.”
Because of the season tubing only goes half way. The first day we went down the river but the flow was slow and the other bars had no one in there. Plus we were tubing in the dark by then. Who knows what could have happened if there was more daylight. In the end I finished with a bruised back, bruised left buttock check and swollen balls. The latter is all fine but the others, two weeks later are still there slowly but surely innocently going away as if nothing happened.
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Phil
non-member comment
"In the end I finished with a bruised back, bruised left buttock check and swollen balls" --- surely you'd be used to it, isn't this just a typical night out in Sydney? Hahahah, just kidding mate, looks like your having a ball. Enjoy the heat, I'm in Prague at the moment, and its freezing!