Paris; the city of love?!

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Well well well... Where to start on Paris? Im just going to put it out there. Paris was the most filthiest, rudest and downright disgustingest place I have ever been to in my life. Lauren and I are in total agreeance of this. People spit everywhere, pee on the streets, accost you for money or are just plain rude to you. It seems over here to say 'pardon' once you've already shouldercharged someone is perfectly acceptable. I honestly am still in shock that Jennifer Hawkins had said that Paris is her favourite place to go - maybe she just never leaves her 5 star hotel?

All I can say is no wonder Paris didn't get the 2012 Olympics. Best decision the IOC ever made!!

Well since we had such a shit time in Paris I will not mention everything but the three worst things that happened (Aside from me having the flu)

1) On our first metro (city train) ride to our hostel must have been peak time so we barely (and I mean barely as my backpack was stuck in the door until I managed to squeeze in at the last minute) fitted in the train. Im talking like a can of sardines. To make matters worse we were next to these 2 french boys who decided to start speaking very sexually about us in french and smelling us. The older ladies on the train look horrified and we were just plain scared. They were drinking out of 2 six-packs (cos they can) and the tops of the glass bottles were broken. Then one decided to start a fight with some other guy but luckily our sardine situation wouldnt allow anyone to move. Needless to say once we found the hostel I told Lauren we were never going on the metro again!! ( which i did have to recind on as Paris is too big to walk but made me feel good at the time)

2) When we plucked the courage to go outside the next day we went to the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame and instead of being in awe of the landmarks we were in awe of how disgustingly touristy it all was. I mean at Notre Dame there was an actual service going on, with a priest, and people were taking photos, talk loudly and on their mobiles it was disgusting. What happened at the Eiffel Tower was the worst which is our third worst thing.

3) Leaving the Eiffel tower some guy takes a photo of us on a polaroid (well pretends to as we later find out) and we make the mistake of stopping. Big mistake actually. What a freaken scam it was.. Long story short, we were forced to hand over 40 euros - yes over $60 - for 4 of the most dodgiest pathetic polaroids I have ever seen. Then directly after, while we were still suffering shock, we are asked by some lady, sorry bosnian lady, if we speak english. We said yes and were handed a folded postcard that had some sob story about her 15 kids having cancer or some shit. When will the scamming ever end??? Lauren tossed her a coin but after the photo fiasco I was not giving anyone anything. Some other lady tried exactly the same scam on me a day later at Notre Dame but I just kept on walking. You honestly feel like just telling them to Fuck Off! That is if we weren't afraid they might stab us. My new catchphrase is just pointing at myself and saying 'Anglais' (and looking blank) when every second person on the street is asking for something.

Anyway now that I have had my rant (I know everyone has sorely missed my whinging) I can finish with Five Things We've Learnt So Far
* Paris is only the city of love for its inhabitants who don't mind practically having sex with each other on the train, in the street.. Well anywhere public really.
* When in Paris watch out for postcard wielding bosnian bandits (as explained above)
* When the day gets you down alcohol is cheap ($10 bottle of vodka) and readily available at any supermarket, bakery or pretty much any shop.
*Don't act suspiciously near and of the landmarks as they are patrolled by machine gun wielding army men ( No second chances there!)
* Last but not least, when thinking of going to Paris.... Don't!

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Photos

Eiffel Tower
This photo was free.

Eiffel Tower
We weren't that impressed.

Armed and Dangerous
Check out their guns?!

Mini me
teeny tiny little cars - so cute.

Notre Dame
Houses obnoxious tourists daily. And we didn't see quasimodo!

Drowning our sorrows
It surprising what you can utilise when you have no glasses. Hell just pour the whole bottle of vodka into the juice bottles.. Mmmmmm

Comments

[KateEighty]

Why Bother
I dont know why you girls bother travelling. You've done nothing but complain the whole way. You two are travellers. You are tourists. Tourists with too many expectations. No wonder they hassled you.

[rachee babe]

laughed my ass off!
You guys are hilarious. I am so hung over today so the massive vodka bottles aren't helping. Im at work and your blog is the only thing keeping me going. The bloody french hey! Good times...