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Published: July 18th 2008
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Kazoku
My dad, older sister and I from when I was about a year old Gah, Aniki, you got me thinking :P Allow me to borrow your words for a bit?
Remember all those times when you were a kid, and you would wonder and plan what you’d do as an adult? All those dreams about being a doctor or an astronaut, about being the first person to visit Jupiter or trying to dig a hole to China with your mates, saying that you’d eat nothing but chocolate cake and candy all day long? Well.. why aren’t we doing those things? What happened to those dreams and ambitions? Where is out creativity and imagination?
I feel like I am enjoying life for the first time, and all these realizations of unachieved dreams and broken promises to myself are being brought back to my attention. When I was a child it was my sincere dream that I’d one day grow up to be a Prince. It was either that or Alice and Wonderland, or the Little Mermaid, but.. Of those three goals I can say I think being a Prince was on the top of the list. We’d make play swords from sticks, and I’d “fight” the neighborhood boys with them all to rescue the
Lelouch of the Rebellion
One of the more complicated costumes I plan to make this year. I.. still look like him, and Iris said me in a bridesmaids dress was like Lelouch in drag. Princess that was waiting in the castle for me. I would try my hardest to make sure that I won because I had a goal to accomplish; I had that dream of being the best Prince I could be (and God I know this all sounds ridiculous) and nothing would stand in my way. When playtime came around I used all these calculations and formulas I had learned in my primary classes to overthrow whoever I was up against that day. And all was for the sake of this dream.
But as I grew up that dream of being someone’s Prince was slowly but surely replaced by more realistic ambitions. Those ideas turned into thoughts of being a rocket scientist, a doctor, a veterinarian, a school teacher.. Gone were the days of dreaming to eat a mountain of ice cream decorated with candy sprinkles and hot fudge, only to be replaced with the boring and mundane meal of soup and a sandwich. We became more serious, more focused, more devoted to actualities rather than possibilities. When did we stop dreaming?
Maybe I shouldn’t aim to be anyone’s prince now, but I do want to live life more creatively
Sora
I have wanted to make a Kingdom Hearts cosplay for years; and now I finally have people who are willing to do it! and with more spirit and enthusiasm. This morning I was talking with Jukka on MSN and somehow we came to the subject of how he was God and I was the Prince of Darkness—and it suddenly brought me back to that childhood memory and ambition. Earlier this week as well I was talking with Ami and David and he made the comment of "kodomo --genki sugiru, kimitachi wa". Thinking about cosplay today as well made me remember that.. well, by playing dress-up and pretending to be this fantastical character does in a way bring me back to those days of imagination. I won’t lie—I’m a dreamer. I’m an optimist, and I have my head in the clouds more often than not. I like to find the deeper meaning in everything, and take moments like this one to discuss things on a more intimate level than most people would. More often than not I think people assume that I'm a bit airheaded just because I act so silly and random all of the time, but.. I like thinking, I like sharing those thoughts, and I like hearing what others say as well. But at the same time I also want to
Ogawa Tetsuya
For those who know me, my favorite band is L'arc~en~Ciel and I absolutely love Tetsu. This shoes are ridiculous, make me trip into things, and are an ode to him. connect on a down to earth level because I have grown up, and I know that even though your possibilities are limitless there are certain restrictions to mind. Everything can't go your way perfectly each time. Perhaps this is what living is all about, you know? Finding those people you can connect with on a level where you can talk about absolutely anything and know they’ll respond in the like. You can joke, you can be serious, you can express happiness and sorrow, and you know that the people will always listen to you.. Because somehow you’re the same as them.
So, an early new years resolution: when I grow up I am going to eat cabbage every day, and drink rum every night. I am going to play games whenever I want to, and joke with whomever I want to. I want to catch bats, lay in the grass and count the stars or say what shapes the clouds are, and play the games I missed out on when I was growing up. I will go to parks and kyoudai smash the swings, while at the same instance having a serious debate about some aspect of life around
Divine truth
Haha, okay. Really, I drink far too much caffeine and it's mostly coffee. And it generally always gives me a rush of energy where I'm acting silly. The day this was born just happened to be a day where I ran around proclaiming my love for everything, so Sarah decided to capture it. :P me or a truly meaningful conversation with a dear friend. I will wear ridiculous shoes and dress like an Indies kid until I have a job that requires button downs and blazers.. or unless I'm trying to impress someone and be a little more cultured. I will eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day until I move to Europe because I can afford peanut butter now! And there is no set hour that it is appropriate to drink alcohol - Even 8 am in the morning is acceptable, so long as it is accompanied by coffee. I am going to try new things, and not let people stand in the way of what I want to accomplish with my life. And most importantly: I will aspire to be a prince no more. Being my true self is far better I'm realizing.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled travel blog programming! The temp. agency hired me directly, so as of Monday I will be working for them full-time for a while. Not sure exactly how much it will pay an hour.. but it will be enough to surpass my ambitions by the end of the year, which makes me happier than you can know. Also, David said he would ask the place he's working in Norway if they could sign me on illegally for a few months and I could work there, haha. Don't think that will happen, but it was touching for him to think about me like that. My step-brother and his fiancee are also seriously considering buying my car since they'll need one when the baby is born. Right now, it really does look like everything is working out for me. All I need to do now is apply for the Fullbright scholarship (and pray I get it :·), take the TWE and the TOEFL, and apply for my blue card so I can participate in the graduation ceremony at NC State this December. Right now I have two Japan-animanga conventions planned: Otakon will be in the start of August and A-USA is in October. For those I have Yagami Light (Death Note) and Tai (Digimon, haha) lined up for Otakon, and Sora (Kingdom Hearts) and Lelouch Lamperouge (Code Geass) for A-USA. So I have my playtime, my worktime, and my adult-time all scheduled out for the next few months! And even if these things don't come to pass I'm definitely open for new opportunities and spur of the moment trips and adventures. Can't regret things if I do them, right?
For now I'm off for a run, then going on a playdate with Iris :P Thank you all yet again for keeping this watched and supporting me.
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Vince
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As always, lovely written Sis. When you come here we can try to dig a hole to China. Or... atleast have picnic and.. make the hole into a trap! ^^