Us, a cook, a 4x4 and a driver named Orlando....

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Table service is not the swiftest in Bolivia. And our time management skills probably leave a little to be desired....as a result we were a whole 45 minutes late for the beginning of our jeep tour of the Salt Flats. After a lot of debate, we had decided to book a tour for just the three of us, heading off on Monday morning. Many people go in groups of up to six; which means they all have to squeeze into one jeep, plus the driver, cook, their rucksacks and loads o food - all of which didn't sound too appealing to us, so as usual we went for the slightly easier option! The tour itself lasts for four days/three nights and it takes in a huge loop in the South West of Bolivia taking in all sorts of landcapes, before finishing off in the Salt Flats. Our delay was due to the need to stock up on woolies, and lots of them. It gets fairly feckin freezing in Tupiza at night, but we were well warned that the accomodation for the first two nights would be very very basic, and very very cold, so we needed loads o extra layers. As soon as they opened we hit the locals markets; a confusing labyrinth of stalls selling everything you could imagine. Piled high with hats, scarfs, gloves, neck warmers, socks and other wooly items, we headed for breakfast without much time to spare.
When we eventually got down to our tour company, our jeep was piled high with equipment, and our driver and cook awaited. Our driver went by the name of Orlando, and he looked a bit like a Bolivian soap star, and he managed to develop a befitting reputation over the course of the trip...our cook´s name was Christina, a smiley young girl without a word of English. But more about those two later!
So off we went, the three of us happily seated in the back, bashing and bumping our way through Tupiza's surrounding mountains (which are part of the Andes range, as it happens). Most of the scenery we took in on the first day was similar to what we saw horse riding, although on a much higher, and grander scale. The roads are so rocky that it would be impossible to navigate them in anything other than a 4x4. We passed through two villages, which were literally in the middle of NOWHERE - I have no idea how the people got there or how they ever left. The houses were made of clay bricks and had flat roofs of straw, and each village, of course, had a rudimentary little church. We stopped for lunch from the boot in a dusty clearing surrounded by llamas, who eyed us suspiciously. They are such nasty creatures, I think they all look like evil people who were turned into freakish animals! We reached our home for the night at about half five or six, by which time the temperature had already begun to considerably drop. Orlando pulled the jeep into a little square of buildings, that looked exactly like the villages we passed through earlier. Our room consisted of five rickety beds, which didn't look all that inviting. The only electricity was from solar power, and we had been well warned that there would be no hot water or showers. The toilet was a pleasant surprise though - contained in a freezing little corner shed it had a flusher and a sink!
So we bundled on some of our newly acquired layers and Orlando (who is a lovely smiley man, with a little bit of English) called us into another little building for our dinner - hot water with a selection of teas, coffees and hot chocolates, complete with a side of crakers awaited. Oh and a bowl of coca leaves, which when munched, are supposed to help with altitude sickness. After we gulped all of the goodness out of our drinks Christina emerged carrying a giant bowl of hot steaming veggie soup. Oh lord, it was absolute bliss. I don't know how many bowls we each had of heavenly chunky veg and piping broth. YUM YUM! And that wasn't all - our cooking goddess appeared just as we were licking our bowls with mash, meat and stir fried veg. Amazing!!!
Feeling a little warmer inside we went back to our room and proceeded to put on as many layers as it is humanly possible to wear at any one time. It was like that episode of Friends when Joey is convinced Chandler hid his tux so he decides to wear ALL of Chandlers clothes a once...My final list, getting into bed was....leggings, pyjama bottoms, two pairs of socks, a vest top, a cardigan, a hoody, a neck warmer, scarf, hat and two pairs of gloves. Oh and I suppose you should also count the thermal sleeping bag and two blankets. And we were still cold!
Day two was a scenery spectacular. It started at the ungodly, antartic hour of 5.30am. Despite the pitch black freezing conditions, Orlando still managed to be enthuasiastic; the Irish contingent were less so - we lumped into the jeep and didn't say much until we stopped about two hours later for brekkie. I thought I didn't like marmalade, but it turns out its absolutely delicious on some stale bread when you're starving at 4,500 metres above sea level. We saw so much scenery on the second day it's difficult to remember it all, and I have really never seen anything like it. Driving for miles over the bumpy landscape, huge lagoons of red, green and blue would come into view. We saw huge flocks of flamingos, and it was all on such a massive scale that it was difficult to get any sense of perspective. And what made it all the more spectacular was that there was nothing else for miles and miles - the only signs of life were other backpackers on jeep tours. We stopped for lunch at some natural hot springs (too lazy to root out our bikins we just dangled our legs) and Orlando took us to see some geyers (not much interest though - we're geysered out after New Zealand!!). I wish I could describe the scenery a bit better, but I really can't; I found it completely awe inspiring, and I hope my memory - and the photos - do it all justice.
We rolled on up to our second night's accomdation at about half four (beds a bit better, but no running water this time), where a few other groups were staying, and they were supremely jealous when our cook presented us with a giant stack of pancakes for our afternoon tea! We even had a tub, yes a tub, of caramel to dip them in. Myself and Sib nearly died with happiness, but we were so stuffed we weren't really able for our dinner and ended up giving most of it away. The second night was even colder than the first, and the altitude was beginning to affect us all (we hit 5,000 metres at some stage that day) - I've been getting chronic headaches that start in the middle of the night and refuse to go away the next morning without the encouragement of some codeine, and poor Sibs actually vomited in the middle of the night in the horrible, rancid toilets.
Day three did not present all that much exciting scenery, but we were all very excited by the promise of a proper night in a hotel, where we had been told there would be hot showers awaiting us. I think there was even talk of alcoholic beverages being available to purchase. Oh, the lies, the lies. Our accomodation was in a Salt Hotel (as we had finally reached the Salt Flats themselves), but there were no showers, and in fact there wasn't even any running water. NOOOOOoooooooooo. And obviously no heating. So another night of sleeping under 47 layers ensued. Humph.
The morning of our final day was another early start - Orlando roused us at about 6am, and had the jeep waiting (with Whitney Houston and a selection of 80s power ballads pumping from the stereo) to take us to see sunrise on the Salt Flats (we had driven over to see sunset the evening before). The Salt Flats consist of the flattest, blankest terrrain you could imagine; the only thing that punctuates the horizon is little triangular mounds of salt (we even saw one man shovelling salt!). We drove for a good hour to see sunrise, and then proceeded on until we came the mirage-like cactus island, in the middle of the white nothingness. The island is made of coral, and is completely covered in huge cacti. We stopped there for breakfast, and met some of the other groups we had been bumping into and discovered they had all been in snazzy hotels the night before with HOT showers! The injustice of it all!!! After brekkie (in the jeep this time, our tolerance for the cold seems to be diminishing rather than increasing), we had a ramble around the island, and then headed off further into the flats to take some trippy photos. Because the landscape is so flat and immense, the perscpective of everything gets all messed up, so with a little trickery you can take lots of photos that mess with the whole Father Ted theory of "Small. FAR AWAY." We were all highly amused by the experience, even if Claud did nearly fall through a hole in the salt as we were heading back to the jeep (a wet foot was the worst of it).
The end of the tour came when we got to Uyuni at about 1pm that afternoon. Orlando dropped us to a hotel, where we checked in and had our first piping hot shower in FOUR days. We all felt like superstars afterwards. And our room has a TV with several movie channels! The downside is that there is no difference in the temperature inside and out; well actually, there is - it heats up in the sun in Uyuni from about 11am to 4pm every day, but our room remains Arctic 24 hours a day. Uyuni is cold. Very very cold. And heating anywhere (not just our hotel) seems to be a foreign concept, so once the cold sets in, there is no shaking it, not even in the restaurants at dinner. Please please let La Paz be a little warmer!
OH, and as for the skinny on Orlando and his soap opera-ish charms........we were utterly convinced that himself and yer wan Christina were conducting more than a work relationship, despite the fact that she had a ring on her wedding finger that didn't belong to our driver! Our suspicions were confirmed when an Australian couple from one of the other groups told us they heard rather amorous sounds coming from the room our "staff" were sharing. At the start of the trip we asked Orlando if Christina was his wife, to which he responded "No no, only work!". Only work indeed. Orlando ya dirty dog!

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Comments

[Sue]

grub
Sis, all of your blog posts remind me of what a MEADE you are cos the thing you consistently speak with true passion about is GRUB. Woman after me own heart, what can I say. Btw, don't forget to drop hints to Mam about that Sticky Date Pudding.