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Published: April 6th 2008
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Lake District
Hikers paradise Yes, green at last. We climbed back into the Andes and wiggled our way around 29 hairpin bends before reaching the Chilean side of the border, huge mountains all around but not a condor in sight. Drove through no-mans land and a 3km tunnel linking the two countries and we popped out the other side into Argentina. Getting past the border officials took longer than expected. We had great difficulty understanding a word as they rabbitted on so fast, sounded nore like a bad dose of verbal diarrhoea than any language we recognised. Two hours later we were through with everything stamped in the correct place and then it was 190km downhill to our first Argentinian destination, Mendoza. Famous for its vinyards and outdoor activities we thought we would do a spot of both. As Nik fancied a bit of ice climbing we thought we would sign up for that but there was one big problem, no ice, so we knocked that on the head and settled for a day of indulgence instead. We hired bikes and off we went to our first bodega (vinyard), a free glass of vino and a tour around their museum. We discovered the old way
Argentinian Border
you ain´t seen me, right! of crushing grapes was done inside a cow hide and the juice drained our of a significant hole, no wonder their wines were...... Next stop home made liquers and now we were wobbling a bit on our bikes. Last stop a more modern bodega, we tagged on to the tail end of a tour where we went through the wine making process step by step. Everybody was asking very sensible questions when all the time we were thinking, cut the crap and lets get to the tasting bit. As our nice Argentinian guide ran through all the different fruity aromas and flavours the wine could be compared to it only confirmed to me what heathen wine drinkers we were as we more or less downed it in one and had a lingering taste of dangleberry rolling aroung our palettes. Anyway it was very much appreciated as he rushed off to show another group around and very foolishly left us in charge of the barrel which we dished out liberally to our fellow samplers. Looking at our watches we had about 10 minutes left to get our bikes back 12 km up the road. As Nik never likes to be late
we had to do a Lance Armstrong impression on performance enhancing wine all the way back to the shop. We finished off our day of indulgence with a famous Argentinian steak. Nik had been looking forward to it for months as pasta was starting to wear a bit thin. Not being a very meaty person I smothered mine with pepper sauce and just managed to keep it down. By this time we were both talking gobbeldygook and when you haven´t been out of each others company for more than two hours over the previous ten months toplcs for discussion can be a bit of a struggle. So Nik started...... How old do you think that waitress is?....... Oh probably late twenties........ I don´t think so, her boobs are nearly round her waist......... She probably needs one of those new sheepdog bras........ What´s that then?.......... It rounds them up and points them in the right direction. Say no more, we rolled home after that. After a groggy start the next day we whizzed around the isles of Walmart. Heaven, meat in nice little packages instead of dripping off a hook and looking at you in the market. Back on the road
The Pampas
Long lonely road. again and heading south on the 40.
What June has failed to mention thus far is the degree of danger I have been in since setting foot on Argentinian soil. You may remember in April 1982 the Argentines invaded the Falkland Islands claiming that they were the Malvinas and were rightfully theirs. In response the Royal Navy formed a taskforce of ships and troop carriers to reclaim the islands. Among that taskforce was HMS Lowestoft an aged trial ship with a modest armoury. For reasons best known to the war office and the naval command Lowestoft was given the most important task of being the sole defender of Ascension Island. This island located in the mid Atlantic had an airbase that would prove vital for providing supplies to the taskforce. Its existence had been overlooked by the Argentines when calculating the probability of the UK mounting a war effort. For the duration of the war the brave men of Lowestoft put their lives on the line defending the island in between sunbathing, fishing and flight deck volleyball. The rest is history, Ascension island was sucessfully defended enabling the rest of the taskforce with safety in numbers doing the easy bit
San Rafael
Stop over in canyon. and finishing off the job. Miraculously the men of Lowestoft returned unscathed except for a couple of nasty cases of sunburn and a fish hook injury. As a key member of the ships company in charge of dining halls and flight deck sports it was clear to me that I was instrumental in the victory and would be considered a war criminal in Argentina probably with a significant bounty on my head. As we approached the Argentine border with trepidation, my pulse raced. My sixth sense told me that I had been recognised. Although I was let through I knew I would have to stay on my toes and keep a low profile in order to survive. As anticipated for the next few days I was trailed by a series of Argentine undercover agents including one cunningly disguised as a flea bitten labrador that followed me around a Mandoza campsite for four days. I knew we had to move on quickly when I realised I had been drugged by another agent flimsily disguised as a wine tour guide. On leaving the third winery I became aware the last glass of Malbec 98 I had been given was spiked. My vision
Lake District
This´ll do nicely. was blurred, balance impaired and speech slurred, they were closing in, this lead to the quick getaway on bikes. Heading south with the Andean chain to the west we finally lost our pursuers. Many of our days have been spent driving through the vast landscape of the pampas. The condition of the road varying but long stretches with more often than not no other car in sight. Recently with several sightings of giant condors circling above. The driving would be perfect in a nice hot convertible with the sun on your face and the wind through your hair, maybe with an Eagles or Dire Straits album blasting out of the stereo. In our case we rely on Tommy´s radio for entertainment which can only pick up local stations, usually 'death by panpipes´or an acordian rap. This is quite a good navigational aid as the music fades out when you leave the occassional town and returns when you approach the next. Getting louder as you get closer, sometimes so loud I can barely hear June telling me what gear I should be in and how fast I should be going. In this vast expanse places of interest are far between, our
Shoreline Lake District
Dog of war on the run. last couple of days have been in the Argentinian lake district around Junin de los Andes. This area has an uncanny parallel with our own lake district, beautiful blue lakes surrounded by lush green forests and mountains. A sparse population with weather beaten faces, speaking an incomprehensible language, the dress sense of Worzel Gummage and an unsavory interest in livestock. In a few days we will be crossing back over into Chile where at least I will be able to sleep at nights.
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Percy
non-member comment
Nice abs
Hey Nik that year diet is doing the trick you can see those abs now, We in the U.K have just had a mad weather weekend with snow all over the place some places up to 5 inches so dont rush to get back. The good thing is the clocks have gone forward so more light in the evenings, good to see both of you are well and on fine form. All the best Percy and Sharon