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Published: October 31st 2007
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Streets in La Paz each have a theme. There's the street with all the alpaca shops, the one with all the plumbing supplies, and so forth. Our hotel was on the barbershop street. I sometimes get the question "What is the point of traveling to South America?" I have finally found the answer: Because getting a haircut is an adventure. I was excited to be on the barbershop street since I had decided about a week ago that I was going to get a haircut in La Paz. The only question was which Peluqueria to go to. I was leaning toward one called "Fidel"(I find communists are very well grommed). We exited our hotel and within 15 seconds the barber closest to me told me in spanish
"Come here. I will give you a haircut. You need one."
Hard to turn that one down, so I went in. I would say that I am an expert on the crappy haircut. I have cut my own hair, gone to Supercuts, Great Clips, Not-So-Fantastic-Sams and many other 8 dollar high-fashion American mullet joints. The South America haircut dominates its North American counterpart. They use scissors almost excusively and use a straight
Suburban America
Wait! This is South America. I forget sometimes as they are similar. razor on your neck, sideburns, and around your ears. To add to the ambiance, they heat a tin cup full of alcohol over a flame and put that on your skin before they use the straight razor. My barber, Sandro, spent over a half an hour on my hair, which is like a minute a hair. I appreciated the dedication. He charged me $3.50 which is a total rip off in Bolivia, but Sandro earned his money and I gave him a tip which made him happy. I have a feeling not too many gringos get their haircut at "Sandro's" in La Paz. I told him "Tu sabes pelo"(You know hair). He responded "Claro".
La Paz is famous for politcal protests and the "Witch's Market". We were able to see both at the same time. The most famous item for sale in the Witch's Market is the Llama fetus. Apparently, you are supposed to bury it beneath your porch in order to keep evil spirits away. Obviously, this is very controversial in the Llama community. This is where the protest comes in. As we were walking down the main drag of the market, we saw two groups of Llamas
on opposite sides of the street. Each group had their own signs and yelling could be heard back and forth. The tension was palpable. It was hard to make out specific things that were said through all the ruckus, but I did caputure the following exchange on my little note pad.
"A Llama fetus is a living thing. How dare you sell it on the street. What would sweet baby Llama Jesus say if he saw this?"
"You call yourself pro-Llama-life but you are really just pro-Llama-birth. You don't give damn about the Llamas after they are born."
"How dare you! I am pro-Llama-life. For you to argue otherwise is shameful."
"Oh right. You are pro-Llama-life when you support our current Llama president that starts wars to steal grass and murder innocent brown baby Llamas in the process. Central Eastern La Paz needs love not war! No more Llama blood for grass."
" You Llamas on the west side of this street are all the same. You think everything is about grass. Why don´t you get a Llama job. I can smell your Llama fur from here. Did you know a Llama feels pain after
the first trimester. Look at that Llama fetus you are selling. It is huge. It was at least in its second trimester."
"You have no idea what the curcumstances are. You are a male Llama you have no right to tell me what to do with my Llama body."
"Circumstances are irrelevant. Selling a Llama fetus is a crime."
"Did making Llama crack illegal stop teenage Llamas from smoking it and losing their Llama teeth? Make it illegal and rich Llama parents will just send their teenage Llamas on Alapaca fur trucks to Peru where they will get it taken care of. Is that what you want?"
"Hey keep me out of this!" exclaimed the Alpaca who just stumbled onto the scene. "I have enough damn problems with all the gringos taking my beautiful hair for their scarves and cheesy Incan knit caps. I mean really, who do they think they are fooling. They look ridiculous. To make matters worse, most don´t even know when stores sell them sythetics passed off as my fur."
Lamas and Alpacas in unison
"Down with Gringos. They steal our fur and mock our culture with knit caps. Llama/Alpaca '08.
It is time for change!"
Thankfully, Chrissy and I got out of there before the shit hit the fan.
La Paz is my favorite South American city that we have visited so far. Easier to walk around and safer than Quito, more authentically S. American than Cuenca, smaller and more interesting than Lima, less touristy and with fewer touts than Cuzco. Cheaper than all of them. Better natural setting than all of them. There are not too many stores in La Paz. Everthing is sold on the street. You can buy a toliet on the street or have someone type a letter as you dictate on an "antique" typerwriter also on the street. We bought some Triple Action Colgate for 30 cents from a sidewalk vendor(no word on if the altitude affects the oxygenated cleaning bubbles). The candy selection is far superior in La Paz also. All three types of Skittles, Chewy Gobstoppers, and Wonka brand are well represented. Also, the Doritos are Nacho Cheese instead of Mega Queso. Mega Queso are whack. Remember to shop local when you travel. Also,t ry an Empanada from a stand. They are amazing and dont´t make you sick. The shopping is
incredible here. I am not much of a shopper, but in La Paz it is very entertaining. The arts and crafts are worth buying and hauling around for months and the Alpaca is everywhere. Sometimes it is hard to tell it something is 100 percent Alpaca.
Follow these guidlines
1. 100 percent Alpaca is expensive. If a blanket is 15 dollars, it is not Alpaca. At best, it is a combo of Alpaca/ sheep's wool
2. You are better off buying your stuff in the nicer, more expensive, Alpaca only store. You pay more, but you know you are not getting scamed. It is still a good deal.
3. 100 percent Alpaca is the sofest thing you have ever felt. If it is not, move on.
4.To see if it is handmade, turn it inside out and look at the inside. Machine made items "skip" when the design changes and there are loose threads on the inside. Also, handmade items look handmade. You know when chocolate chip cookies are homemade right?
5. Except for the nicest 2 or 3 stores in town, bargaining is totally acceptable. Most store say 20% off. That means
you get 20 percent off if you know how to bargain. We saw a few gringos buy things for the sticker price when we had just bargained them down several hundred Bolivianos. Keep in mind to not be an ass about bargaining. People are trying to make a living and 5 bucks means more to them than it does to you. You get a better deal if you speak spanish.
6. It cost around 35 dollars to ship a 7 pound package airmail to the United States. They said it takes 10 days. Ask me in 10 days if it really takes 10 days.
Visit La Paz. Bring a Jacket as it rains everyday. Be nice to the Alpacas and the LLamas. They are under a lot of stress
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caravaggio
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seriously, matt. this one was too funny. fabulously ridiculous!