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Published: October 11th 2007
....this one is going to be longggg.
I realized that every time I get on her and update I forget half the things I wanted talk about. So yesterday and today I wrote it all down when I remembred something I wanted to write about. Im warning you all now, its going to be long, and very random. It will also jump from subject to subject with no transitions. But it should be semi interesting. haha.
So lets see...I realized I havent been noticing the poverty of the country so much anymore. I guess its just because I live here so Im obviously getting more used to it. But I am wondering if I should continue to remind myself of it. I dont know I just hate to forget about it. I knew I would get used to it but I dont want to forget that its here. In fact I went to the dump last week with two americans that were here. They are actually the parents of one of the girls I went on the Mission of Peace with. Going there helped to remind me, Im just not sure how to feel about it. I feel like I should be really sad about it, but I dont feel like Im as sad as I should be about it. Does that make any sense? I hope so!
This country is making me have more self discipline. I knew I was going to be changed here and learn stuff and self discipline is definitely something I am learning. I always thought I was pretty good at disciplining myself but I dont think I really was haha. People here are a lot more relaxed about time and work and different things so Ive found that I have to actually be harder on myself. Take for example teaching, I take three buses each day and then bike for about a half hour through rain, sun, mud, not exactly fun but not bad either. But all the other teachers do the same, so if I didnt show up to work one day, even without telling the Director I wasnt coming, no one would care. Because the other teachers do it too. They just sort of dont show when theyre tired or leave early if they have something to do. No such thing as a substitute teacher at our school, either the Director teaches, or the kids just dont have class when a teacher isnt there. Because of this, Ive really had to be hard on myself because Im not going to lie, most mornings when Im getting up at 530 I have absolutely no desire to leave. I like sleep!
The school in general is very relaxed, not just with the teachers but also with the students. If a kid doesnt feel like going to school he just doesnt and he doesnt need an excuse the next day. And if he wants to leave after lunch or whatever, he just does. Also kids get out of school for things we would NEVER get out of school for here. For example, yesterday I had my 5 and 6 grade class after lunch. Migdalia had been there in the morning but when I got to class she wasnt there. I asked the other students where she was and they said her mom had to go somewhere and didnt want to take the baby so Migdalia was at home taking care of the 4 month old. Mind you, shes twelve maybe. Yesterday we didnt have class because they were having a soccer game and kickball game against another school. Ive been here two months and Im still adjusting to how lax it is. I guess coming from such a structured school system in the US I am just really having trouble fathoming (is that a word?) the way their school works. But I mean I dont dislike it, just need to get used to it.
Im still trying to figure out how I can act with my guy friends here. Im very flirty and goofy at home and Im becoming more open here I just havent yet figured out my boundaries. For example, last weekend I went to the market with David, Guillen and Jimmy and wandered around with David while Guillen and Jimmy were shopping and no one seemed to have a problem with it. But then the other night David and I went to get choco bananas and although no one approached me about it, I could tell it was a little weird to everyone. Yet I didnt think anything of it, I just wanted choco bananas and didnt wanna walk around by myself at night. And sometimes I can sit on the couch with one guy for an hour and talk to only him and no one cares but then I talk to another guy for 5 mins and get looks. Who knows. I love my friends here and spending time with them, I just have to figure it out. As for hanging out with the girls though, I have no problems. I love them all to death and when I hang out with them I have the time of my life. In fact last Saturday was the big church anniversary so they got me in a dress and heels and straightened my hair and everything hahaha. It was just really nice of them to welcome me in like that.
As for the people in Chacocente, Im also really loving the time I spend with them. They are just great to talk to and laugh with. Especially Juan Carlos and Jose Luis. They are two brothers who both live with their wives and kids in the project and they are just hysterical when they are together. Also I really like when I can talk to Doña Manuela or Veronica. They are both just really nice women. Manuela showed me all her pictures last week and it was so nice to spend time with her. I think in another week or two I might start spending a night a week there rotating between different families because I would like to continue building relationships with them.
As for building relationships, it cant be done without speaking and my Spanish is coming along wonderfully. I still have plenty to learn but I really am happy with how far its coming. Im to the point that I usually feel comfortable having a conversation with someone. Although I still cant speak tons, its definitely a lot more than I was speaking when I came, and I can understand a lot of what people are saying to me. A whole lot. Im even to the point of understanding jokes. Last weekend we were at a big worship service of all the evangelical churches in Sabana Grande and it was at the park, on the basketball court actually. I was talking to Joel and said to him "I want to live here someday" and his reply was "Well yeah you could sleep on the basketball court" and I GOT THE JOKE! haha I was just really excited because understanding humor isnt easy. And other people have noticed too. More than one person has said to me, "wow when you got here you didnt speak much spanish. now you speak a lot!!!" Its really great to hear that! haha
I had two worship services that Ive wanted to write about for weeks, or maybe even a month now and I just havent. I kept forgetting to write about them. For the month of Sept we had a combined worship with the other churches every week and for one of them a woman that is native to Nica but has lived in CA for 20 some years came to preach. She was a really nice lady and I really liked her until she gave the sermon. She told this sermon of how God gave her these visions of what happens in hell and there was a whole area of hell where all the girls who wear low tops and like dancing go (and mind you not just strippers, girls like myself ) and another section where all the homosexual people are. Well it reached that point and I completely tuned out her sermon. I think I just sat there reading my bible. I didnt want to be rude but I really just couldnt take it. I was really upset after the worship and went to talk to one of the guys that I know is really open to stuff and found out from him that most of the culture or at least most of the churches here feel that homosexuality is a sin and the people are going to hell. I think I found my one problem with the church down here. But I also found that my generation here isnt quite to anit homosexuality. More than one of the guys knows and is friends with someone that is gay so that helped relieve me a bit. Oh man was I mad.
The other worship I wanted to talk about was another combined one. We went to another church in Sabana Grande and during their songs all these people started having fits and the members of their congregation didnt even react. I guess its something very normal in their church. But I couldnt just accept it for some reason. I dont doubt that it happens but when half the congregation is doing it, it just seems kind of sketchy to me. Especially when in all the other combined services it never happened and those people were at all of them. Only in their church. And I even watched one of the girls start laughing at the end of the song as she blatantly flung herself into her chair after her "fit." I tried to stay really open minded to it but something about it just seemed played up to me. Who knows.
Religion and faith here are amazing though. The people are not at all afraid to be open about their Christianity and the fact that they love God and Jesus. Every where you go on t-shirts, walls, doors, buses, cars, everything, there are stickers and sayings praising God and Jesus and proclaiming their love. I wish the US could be more open to that instead of criticizing the people that are religious. Hmmm I think Ill have to work on that! haha
So today, after my first class, I finally learned how to cut the grass Nica style: With a machete!! Its hard and my hand is covered in blisters but I enjoyed it. I dont really know how to explain it other than you hack at the ground and the grass with the machete. Im not very good at it so Im going to have to do it more. Juan Carlos and Uriel spent about 10 mins laughing at my attempts, but I did manage to do a little so I was excited. My hands are getting rather blistered and calloused from the work I do, but oddly enough I like it. I guess I just like having something that I can know I got working hard.
For a country with so much poverty, the people are amazingly willing to share and give gifts. The women in the project make bracelets, anklets and necklaces that they sell and already Doña Reyna gave me a bracelet and a necklace, and Veronica gave me a bracelet and an anklet. I was really touched by it. Also the kids bring the teachers little things like fresh milk from the cows (SO good and I dont normally like milk) and today Margarita brought me a passion fruit. Yum!!! Also Hermana Conny that makes piñatas gave me one for my bday. She makes her money off of those. The people here continue to amaze me with their kindness and their spirit.
Hm as for missing home, I dont but I dont. I have a lot of random thoughts of home and memories that I probably wouldnt think about if I were at home, but I do here. But I wouldnt say Im really homesick. In fact the guys reminded me that tomorrow is only two months until I go home and I actually got really sad. But dont worry I am excited to see all of you!!!
I think thats all. Sorry it was insanely long but hopefully it helped you all know whats going on. Tomorrow is a national holiday, the day of the race, which celebrates the indigineous (spelling??) tribes of Nica. We have a big celebration at the school complete with a Prettiest Indian competition!!! Ill update on that later!
Love and miss you all tons. Que dios les bendiga!!
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Valerie Cole
non-member comment
More, More, More!! That was the best letter yet! Please keep writing down your thoughts. Your comments about the "wierd" feelings about hanging around with the boys made me want to tell you I understand what you are going thru. Cultural differences in man woman relationships are really hard to get a handle on. Latin society protects its women and generally think they know that American females are born easy. Just like in America we have a generalization about Sweedish women being tall, blond and hyper sexual. So, it's best to keep with a group. It will protect your reputation and not put the boy in the position where he is forced by peer pressure to act on his american girl fantisy. You continue to make us proud Chelsey. Keep up the good work!! Dios te bendiga!! Valerie