First Week in Wonderland

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Blissful Fantasy Comes Crashing Down

After my first night hanging out in the yuhgwan I was definitely ready to start working. My jet lag was "gone" and if this is what all of Korea is like....hell ya. This deluded perception (naive American....will this ever go away?) was shortly ruptured by the sudden explosion through the noise of the tv, the a/c, and the running bath water (that I was heating up for another soak before I started work) by the foreign sound of the telephone. "Do I answer it?" "Do they know that I'm a foreigner?" "Will I be able to understand them with the crap Korean I know?" As the questions ran a marathon through my head I fell on the realization that they KNEW I was in the room...otherwise why would they be calling? I heeded to the growing anxiety in my stomach and reached for the phone. "오보셔오 . 계산...." "Do you speak English? I don't speak Korean. I'm sorry! Anyone...speak...English...?"....click. I didn't know if I should take my stuff and leave or just wait around to see if anyone would call back. I was told the night before that I would be staying at the yuhgwan for two nights. I had no idea what was going on. I reluctantly packed my things in fear that there would be another phone call, but didn't really worry about it because it seemed that Charles had taken care of it. Right as I had finished packing my things, in a neat orderly fashion that I was proud to leave in case someone walked in and would instantly judge me, the phone rang again [crap!. "Hello?" "uh....mm....CHECK OUT!" "Uh..." ...click. There was no way that I could call back and let them know that I was supposed to be staying for two nights. Even my Lonley Planet's Guide didn't cover this. So I picked up my newly packed luggage and, extremely defeated, walked to the elevator to take the preverbial "walk of shame" to the check-out desk and then to the school.

Thank god the school was close by.

Week 1

Week one has been full of many many MANY kids running up to me screaming "HELLO!!!" and then running away when I turn around to say hello back. This isn't really in a cute adoring manner either. You walk around the corner and then WHAM! they sneak up behind you, scream, laugh, run into each other, and then scream as they run away down the hall. When I say scream I mean SCREAM! I definitely will give them that not only am I the tallest and fatest (as I'm constantly reminded) person at the school, but also the only blonde that has hair and CRAZY hair it is. Couple that with my angelic blue eyes and they don't know whether to think I'm a god-send or cretin sent from the devil himself. But scary...really? I think not, thank-you very much! It's becoming kind of a game as I chase them around and then throw them through the glass and they land bodily injured on the pavement in the parking area. They are slowly learning that this isn't a fun game to play with "Chad Teacher", but it's taking them longer than I thought it would.....just kidding!....I chase them around and they laugh and then I get cornered, somehow, and then it's time for dongcheon. Dongcheon is not something that I think I ever want to experience again, but the kids find it hillarious. Dong means "shit/poop" and cheon means "poke". So, if you haven't guessed what dongcheon is, let me explain it for you. They try with all their little might to stick their tiny finger so far in your butt crack that it would take the jaws of life to pry them out. It leads to all us foreigner teachers walking around Wonderland with cleanched butts and going home with buttaches like I have never imagined. See why I would rather not experience this again? (I will now give everyone the chance to keep their comments to themselves, thank-you very much) Unfortunately for me, however, I get to look forward to 358 more days of this joy.

Apart from that work is going great. It's an easy job. All that I do in the morning is speak English to children that can't understand me and try to pry them off my bum while having them color. The afternoon is filled with classes of kids that know more than they lead on to and allow me to look like a dumbass in the long run. This is apparently their version of dongcheon. It is refreshing to see that the students at least become wittier with their age. Then, on my lucky nights (usually Thursday, but will be Tuesday as well for the next 2 weeks) I get to teach two middle school aged kids. They are rock star and I can talk openly with them and hope that they understand me. If they don't they usually tell me and then it gives me an opportunity to teach them. Otherwise it's just reading "Velvelteen Rabbit" (current reading which I did in elementary school, but they seem to find it entertaining) which they are GREAT at or asking/answering questions about each other's cultures.

The Korean work day starts WAY later than in America. Some places open up at 9am, but most don't open until 10am and they stay open until 22:00, usually. I get to work (after my 30 min walk) at around 9:30am and stay until I want to go home (usually 19:00 or 20:00). As I don't know many people or places to go my day kinda ends after that and I go home to read a book that I've already got through or, if I can get the energy, go on a walk by the river near my house. There have been many cool things to see there. Mostly fish that fly out of the water at a velocity that could rival the sound barrier and a really cool Korean game that is a mix of soccer and tennis. I have also recently discovered a PC 방* (bang=cafe) in my area. This places stay open 24 hrs for the hard-core online gamers and loners, like myself. The best parts are the shooting/killing noises from the other computers, the super fast connection speed for online gaming, and the fact that it only costs $1/hr. Being that I don't have a tv in my apartment (will in my new one in two weeks) this is how I'm also staying up to date on my tv addiction.

Other than that....life is just as it is.

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Comments

[Don Kung fu Grip]

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I apologize for my use of hanguel, but I need to start studying it more often in my life. I swear that this isn't me trying to show off thinking that I'm cooler or anything....although we all already know this is true so I don't need to remind anyone of it. Really though...it's for my own practice. I am sorry in advance is it becomes bothersome. I'll try to give a definition with everything I write too.

[Lon]

curiosity
Your working in what city?? I am about to travel to Korea to work as an ESL teacher and I am scared as to what I can expect. Can you please email me with any information?? Lon [e-mail]