I know you did it, you F*cker!!

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So we sped through Chile. It was cold and Peter was too cheap to get us a room with heat. Also, it was really expensive relative to the other S. American countries we had visited. But mostly, we left Chile because Peter nearly beat the shit out of some guy in Valparaiso and I wanted to get out of the country before he completely lost it.

In Peter's defense, the guy was a dirtbag.

Keep in mind that Chile is supposed to be the safest country in S. America.

We were innocently walking along in Valparaiso, a pretty bohemian coastal town in Chile about 2 hours north of Santiago. It actually reminded us of Venice, especially since the much wealthier and tidier neighboring city, Vina del Mar, reminded us so much of Santa Monica. It was our first day there.

Anyway, we are on the edge of the commercial district and heading into what the guidebooks warned would be the seedy side of town. But it was four in the afternoon and there were plenty of people walking around. As we are crossing the street with 2 other people, I hear this noise and feel something wet on my hand. I automatically assume that it's sprinkling, but when I look down, there are these orange colored droplets on my hand.

Before I can even really think, "What the hell is that?", I notice that our daypack, which Peter is carrying, is covered in the stuff. And it smells. Of Fish!

Then, this guy approaches us with these paper towels, ostensibly to help us clean up.

And Peter starts screaming at the guy.

You f*cker! I know it was you! You f*cking a**hole. You did this. Yeah, you. F*ck you!

It goes on and on.

I'm thinking, "What the f*ck is going on?"

The guy acts like he's totally innocent and doesn't understand why Peter wants to kill him. Kind of an exaggerated "Who me?" But Peter continues his tirade and he finally scurries off like the rat he is. Peter most regrets not knowing enough swear words in Spanish to cuss the guy out in his own language. I, on the other hand, thought he did pretty well.

Peter then tells me that he had read in one of the guidebooks of a scam where these con artists spray stuff on you and then pretend that they are going to help you clean it up. It can be dog shit or mud or fish guts. While they're busy "wiping" your bag, they somehow unzip it and steal stuff from it. We later hear from a girl that her friend's laptop got stolen this way! Peter's conclusion in all this is that there must be some Chileans of Peruvian heritage in Valparaiso. (He still hasn't gotten over being screwed in Peru. Can you tell?)

I washed the bag 3 times and even then, it took another few days for it to dry out and stop smelling of fish. It was disgusting. Our hostel manager was really impressed that Peter didn't fall for the trick. She said she had never heard of anyone who figured out what was going on while it was happening.

Despite the horrible initial impression of Valparaiso, we eventually became fans of the place. It's a rather pretty port town with seven steep hills that are conquered, not by walking (Thank God!), but by these 100-year old funiculars. The houses on the hills are painted all different colors and there are murals everywhere. It was really quite charming.

As for Santiago, we quite liked it as well. But we can't say that it's much more than a big city that happens to be relatively clean and pretty in parts. I think we liked it because, by that time, we were ready for some big-city, bright-lights amenities that weren't so prevalent in Peru.

From Valparaiso, we took a 9-hour bus ride over the Andes to Mendoza in Argentina. It was supposed to only be 6 hours, but immigration into Argentina was a nightmare. The customs building is on top of a high pass in the Andes. Basically, all of the buses, cars and trucks travelling to Mendoza stop in a huge hangar-like building and get processed. It is normally not much of a problem except that it had begun to snow and they made us get out of the heated bus, trek through the snow to the building, and then stand in line in the unheated building for about 40 minutes for the entry stamp. Then, we unloaded the entire bus and waited outside again so they could search each of our bags for contraband from Chile.

Nevertheless, the trip was worth it because the scenery was spectacular. The Andes are imposing in and of themselves, but the snow made them that much more picturesque. On the Argentinian side, the canyons were multi-colored and beautiful.

We were actually really lucky to even get over the pass. We later found out that we were probably one of the last buses to make it to Mendoza from Chile. Shortly after we got through, they closed the pass because of the snow. We read in the newspaper that something like 4,000 trucks and buses were stuck on the Chilean side for days and another few thousand on the Argentinian side.

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Comments

[Dave Powell]

Distant Relative
Greetings from Massachusetts... The entire East coast family enjoys reading your blog. Your comments on Dinh's taxi rides, Peter's boobies and this latest outrage are letting us see the real people. Keep Bloging and Enjoy the rest of your travels. HAPPY 4TH of JULY!! Dave

[Pablo]

Was it a trick?
I was thinking your disgusting experience maybe it was the result of some kind of university joke. That's no so common this kind of "stole methodology" between chilean criminals in Chile. Or maybe it was a real mistake of this person. Did he run out of there? If he stayed in front you , probably it a was a real mistake, not a trick. In Chile, a typical criminal would proceed to a getaway if you discover his intentions. Well, it just an hypothesis.