if i ever get my hands on that polar bear...

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a loooooong arse day. it started scary, and then it got all responsible, and then it ended in pure violence. or at least it would have, if i had found that polar bear. but before all that, lets go back to last night.

we did some washing! get in! my towel no longer stinks! my t-shirts are fresh! my jeans are fresh! my socks are clean! score! the wash went ok, but then drying took forever, like a long arse time, so me, morris and garfunkel decided to celebrate by popping over the road to the handily placed irish bar. undoubtadly the most un-irish irish bar in the world like. but yes, we went in, gaz said '3 lagers' to which the reply came... 'what is lager?'. This is a god damn irish bar! but it was ok, there was just a slight confusion, so we had 3 german beers and all was well. i missed the second half of the discussion however, as the other person behind the bar was smiling and generally looking gorgeous. this trip is just turning us all into perving monkeys i tell you. anyway, sat down, drank beers, and had some good chats. another gorgeous lady entered the bar and sat on the table next to us, so most of the night was taken up with me and minor doing impressions of the italian football sgorio commentator 'super toooooootti'. wow though. going back tonight. score.

woke up today, had a few things planned, berlin zoo, reichstag, the model concentration camp. went to get money out, and i was greeted by a friendly 'im sorry, we are unable to process this'. so i tried another machine. and it said the same thing. so i tried another bank. and it said the same thing. so i tried yet another bank. and it said the same thing. so i shat myself, half expecting my arse to say 'sorry, i am unable to process this request'. anyway, went back to the hostel, parting ways with the chaps, and rang up HSBC. turns out that because i hadnt told them i was going away, they had locked my account because of the lots of crazy transactions going on. arses! so after ages of phone sorting out and answering security questions, it was sorted. thank the lord. i was already starting to think of ways i could stay alive and get to barcelona on the 11th of july only spending the money i had in my wallet. which was €10.

met up with the others, and went to the world famous berlin zoo. got in, and my lord, that place is damn huge. anyway, walking around, and saw a poster advertising knut. who is knut you ask? well, knut is something of a flat 14 celebrity, as he is the racist polar bear. racist chump. wont play with brown bears, only uses white footballs, he's an all round shitter. so we spent most of the day trapsing the zoo, looking for knut, whilst muttering violent arsery underneath my breath. there are alot of signs pointing towards knut, and it just gets more and more confusing with each one. after hours of searching, we thought we had found him, only to find out that he's been moved. to where? no idea. so knut, if you're online tonight, read closely. i'm gonna find you, and i'm gonna kick your cracker teeth in.

if you arent joel or ben, then you wont find that funny at all. dont take it seriously.

so that brings us to now. i had a nice little internal conversation with myself last night, which might have been the fault of that german beer. superb stuff. anyway, its weird how toilets are different worldwide. we've been in 3 countries, all next to us, and toilets are different in each place. the flushing mechanisms just get stranger and stranger. brilliant. been listening to bear vs. shark pretty much the entire time, that band were amazing. terrorhawk will find itself pretty highly placed on the next mr bills 100. speaking of which, i might compile it on tomorrows night train. berlin to krakow.

if we're going to die anywhere on this trip, it's going to be krakow. it's vital, because i desperately want to go to auschwitz, and poland should be interesting. always a bit of trepidation though when visiting places with reputations. ah well, fun times. it also means that ljubljana is getting increasinly close. i really cannot wait for slovenia, i'm totally in love with the idea of it right now. lake bled is going to be wonderful. i'm going to try and wing it so that i am in lake bled on beths birthday. silly yes, but still.

ok, i'm gonna finish this up here, because this is long. not even sure if anybody has read it. ah well. adios!

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Comments

[franciney]

I read it! Stay safe my little billzy boy xx