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OK, so I am a little behind in my journal enrtires, but for good reason that I'll get to in a little bit. Right now I am in Auckland, New Zealand, but I need to write about my time in Tahiti because it was, well, interesting to say the least. I actually wrote in my journal so here is the entry as follows. Stay posted for my NZ adventures too!
Tahiti is a beautiful place as long as you can.....avoid the condescending French men; don't mind enjoying the little things in life like sunsets and hiking 40 minutes down the beach to your pension since you can't afford the boat transfer, or food; build up a tolerence to DEET (I've been bathing in bug repellent) but will still lose a pint of blood to the mosquitoes anyway; abandon all previous knowledge of public transportation and instead wait by the side of the road praying to the gods of travel to send you a bus (which you will be promptly mocked on by the men for not speaking french); come to terms that those picture-perfect postcard places are on another island that you can't afford to get to; afford to
lose another pint of blood because you wanted to sit outside and write in your journal; convince your body that its not hungry since you can't pay for any of the food on the island (but this is also a positive if you consider how it helps your bikini figure); realize that mosquito netting is a necessity and not just a romantic decoration.
In an attempt to escape all of this I travelled to the most remote part of Tahiti, Teahupoo, on the peninsula called Tahiti Iti (little Tahiti). After taking an unpredictable bus to the end of the road, I had to walk 40 minutes to the pension since the boat transfer was way too expensive. But when I got there I thought, 'yes this is the Tahiti I've been searching for.' It was remote, beautiful, and in the middle of no where in the jungle. And they had three horses that would wander the grounds and try and get into the kitchen and guestrooms- obviously my kind of place. However, the next thing that I find out is that the pension is hosting a party the following day- 200 people for a sort-of picnic event. So much
for my peace and quiet, but I thought it should be interesting nonetheless. Well, they came in droves by boat, and I did all I could to avoid them. At one point I hiked to this watering hole- in the jungle, just a few minutes walk from the pension. I had just enough time to swim and take my top off to sunbathe before I heard the droves of cattle coming up the river. So I put my top back on, politely said "Bonjour" and headed off as fast as I could to my room to sleep since everywhere else (dock, pool, beach, river) was teeming with people. I finally woke up, made some lunch for myself, and pondered my next move. Fortunately everone left at 3. One crisis over, another on its way....
At 12:45 midnight, I was awoken by a man leaning into my window, clearing his throat to get my attention, and shining a light from his mobile phone in my face. When I finally came to and realized what the fuck was going on, he asks (can you believe this one?) if he can come inside. WTF is wrong with these men?!? I say NO,
appearantly too sleepy to tell him what's really on my mind ('go fuck yourself'). He said he was sorry and that was that. So now I'm up for the rest of the night waiting for this wanker to try something, which he doesn't, but when morning comes, I give all the male workers I see a verbal beating making sure to use the English words they'd understand (assholes, fucker, etc.). I then tell their mother (who happens to be the owner, but it feels really good to rat them out since they wouldn't tell me exactly who it was, and since I couldn't see because I had a goddamn cell phone light in my face) and she completely understands my anger. And I strongly tell her that I am not leaving because some guy woke me up last night. Good. She'll have her husband put a lock on the windows, 'but do make sure to always close the one behind your bed-Tahitian legend says that the spirits will enter from there at night.' Well that did happen to be the window he used, and as much as I believe in spirits and the like, I don't think they have the
need to shine mobile phones in people's faces.
Anyway, still determined to have a good time, I go to the outdoor living room to read. It's a gloomy day, I'm feeling gloomy, and I think its best to just hang around the pension all day. But wait, I came here to hike and no man or spirit will keep me from doing so. And of course, like any self-respecting, hard-headed Jersey Girl, I go off and hike alone. This hike failed on many levels. Shall we start with how there was no proper trail to the caves I wanted to walk to- you simply follow the beach and shoreline (but if you are picturing white sand, lots of beach, you couldn't be more wrong. The sand is a coarse rocky black, bodering on looking muddy, and there is no extensive beach, just water hitting coast, with no real place to walk). On top of that it rained so much the night before that the water level at ther river crossings that you could normally wade through were up to my neck in some places. And finally, everyone has dogs, usually a mix between pit bull, german shepard and rotweiler
(really friendly dogs, let me tell you. Their welcoming nature is only rivaled by that of the Frenchmen here). They run out and bark like crazy at you for wading through the water near the houses. If you are lucky, their owners quiet them down and you can walk past. If you are not lucky, they bite your butt. Yes, one was actually trying to attack my water bottle hanging on my hip, but bit my butt instead (no pain though as my butt is quite cushiony). And to top it all off, a guy from the pension was following me offshore with a jetski. He was actually following me!!! WTF is wrong with these men?!? He finally left when I flipped him the bird, although he was so far offshore I can't imagine that he actually comprehended what I was trying to say. But it worked.
And yet, I finally gave up and turned around. Yes, this Jersey Girl stands defeated by this mother-fucking goddamn shithole of Tahiti. I don't even like palm trees anymore thanks to this place. And why can't a female travel by herself and not be harassed by fucking assholes? There is no reason why men can't learn to respect women. The secret to world peace is to respect women-- why? you ask. If men gave us our proper respect, we might willingly in return give them blow-jobs. And if all men were getting blown, they would not be aggressive, therefore no fighting, no war, and thus world peace. Compare Clinton to Bush afterall.
OK, ok sorry about the bitching. Actually, after all of this crazy stuff happening, my time here changed for the better. Thank god, because I was begining to regret coming here. I met Isabelle (name was not merely a coincidence, I believe that she was sent to save me) and her family at the pension, and they were absolutely lovely. Just what I needed to not hate the country. She was so happy to show me around other parts of Tahiti, to different beaches (a black sand beach that actually was beautiful), we had dinner and crepes in Papeete and we cruised around in her new Mini. Oh, and she let me stay at her house the last night where we swam in her pool, and then she drove me to the airport at 5 am, and waited for me to check in and everything because it was Tahitian custom (even gave me a good-bye shell necklace). So all in all, Tahiti turned out to be much better than I originally thought, but I did go through my bits of hell to get to paradise.
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Judi
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Sorry to hear Tahiti was not all that great!! Hope New Zealand is better!! Keep us posted. Miss you! Judi