Briz-Vegas, Baby!

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So I now see why they call it Briz-Vegas. After hearing for Boyatt and Aikes rave about their beloved Briz-Vegas for years, I was excited to see Brisbane - the tropical Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. When I got there it all made sense. You know how we refer to Manchester and Lexington as Manch-Vegas and Lex-Vegas? Ya. It's just like that. It's a real city...i guess. And everyone calls it Briz-Vegas too, all with a half chuckle in their voice. Let me skip the suspense and just tell you there's nothing there. Mix in this two-decade long drought and even the Botanical Gardens were an empty wasteland. So a 1.5 days was PLENTY of time to get myself bored.

So I figured I'd make the best use of time I could and put back on my tourist hat and proverbial neon fanny-pack (again, thank god it's invisible, cause it's ugly as hell) and headed down to the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary, by way of a cruise down the Brisbane River. Now I know you're probably thinking "sweet! a river cruise sounds awesome." Well, don't. There's nothing to see. Only the screeching from the island of flying foxes woke me up.

Lone Pine itself is a koala-don't-call-it-a-koala-bear and kangaroo sanctuary - like koalas need a sanctuary. They have no predators, nothing to do and no real reason to wake up from their 20-hour daily slumber in the trees, except to occasionally eat eucalyptus leaves. They sleep in a half-stoned state so precariously in the trees that it looks like they could fall if you look at them wrong. But seriously, if Australia's environment wasn't so isolated and unique, these things would have been killed off eons ago. Hell, even touching them traumatizes them beyond repair so it's now illegal to touch a koala anywhere in the country. So naturally, at Lone Pine, I picked one up and gave it a nice big cuddle. There's also a kangaroo grazing area where a bunch of fat and happy 'roos have nothing to do but sit and wait for snap-happy tourists to come and feed them. Not a bad life if you ask me.

Did I mention there's nothing to do in Brisbane?

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Comments

[pdidds]

Briz-Vegas
So...were the chicks hot or not?

[aikes]

you're dead to me
I'll dismiss this blasphemy as pure ignorance. However, I'm still gonna have to beat you like a gong when you get back. I may even be waiting in LA to do it just as you finish clearing customs. Then we can get a burrito and move on.

[John]

what
You did not go to the West End markets on a satuday or eat at the cheap, trendy resturants? Did you go to the valley where they have progressive trance tunes and great music venues such as Tivoli - did you go to new farm and dine at exclusive Japanese/Indian/Italian resturants? Did you walk down James street to the markets and the ind. cinema area? Have a drink in the queen street mall at night - walk around southbank and chill - the climate - the no rush of sydney - cmon mate