Despair: Not An Option


Advertisement
Canada's flag
North America » Canada » British Columbia » Kaleden
February 1st 2020
Published: February 1st 2020
Edit Blog Post

I’ve come from a place where despair is not an option, where too much glitter is never a thing. Days when I find myself occupied in the house, I have only to step outdoors to be slapped in the face by surprise: burros requiring sombreros, infants teething on onions, an old woman as wizened as the avocados she’s selling, rock star beauties queuing up for the bus. Colourful this, cacophonous that. There are no exceptions; this is my everyday in Mexico.



Fast forward to this Canada: a silence so profound that I imagine myself cocooned. All sounds, all colours, absorbed by a cushion of snow. The view from the window is a frozen frame blistering before a hot projection lamp. The faint whir of the heat pump, when it splutters to life, feels like an invasion. The smell of singed mittens wafts up from the woodstove. This kind of magnificence, you can’t make it up.



Some people thrive on sameness. I envy their loyalty and emulate their contentment. I imagine them waking up and looking forward to their porridge, steamy-creamy white and sticking to the pot, brown sugar flowing through it like hot lava, each raisin a gift to the tongue. I imagine their proud expertise at winter layering: inner socks, snow pants, outer socks, boots. It feels so right.



But if I’ve learned anything about myself over the years, I’ve learned that I crave novelty. Without it, I get cranky. Denied it for too long, depression becomes tangible, sniffing around my perimeters and snapping at my heels. I kick it off, like a bothersome dog. I work at acceptance; admonish myself to behave. Still, the dog lives on.



For me, there are just too many ways to live a life. Oddly, I am not extolling the benefits of travel, a strange thing to admit on a travel blog site. The thought of it taxes me in ways I don’t care for anymore. Like a pair of old underpants that have lost their elasticity, I am dulled by airport corridors and dread long flights trapped in a silver suppository. I am unimpressed by hotel lobbies and guidebooks and, lately, when I scrabble through my bag for my passport or my room key, I feel every bit of my 69 years.



For me, for now, I prefer to stay put at least as long as it takes to feel part of a place. Satisfaction comes from doing ordinary things in extraordinary places, like pulling up weeds or hanging out laundry to dry on the line. (Or, as was the case in a canal-side house in Amsterdam, from a contraption coming down from the stairwell by ropes and a pulley.) I like perusing grocery store aisles, eating in, and idling away the hours in the tall grass. So just plunk me down somewhere interesting, as gently as possible, and I will bloom like a potted plant.



Same, same, but different. Is there anyone out there who feels like I do?

Advertisement



1st February 2020

Me!
You are such a good writer...poetic even! [blogger=199442] is written by a couple who has lived such a life for the last eight years.
1st February 2020

Why aren't you at your home in Mexico?
I've just read through most of your blogs and see that you have lived for a month or more at many wonderful places. And you home in Mexico is so beautiful... Do not despair.
1st February 2020

Despair:Not an option
Thank you Liz for sharing your insightful thoughts.
3rd February 2020

PS
I would really love to see that photo of the girls and Prudence, the old Chevy. Any chance you can scan and send it?
2nd February 2020

Perfection!!
I absolutely LOVED your descriptions in this piece!! I feel much the same way, Liz!! Thanks for putting it into words!! XX Celia
3rd February 2020

Beautiful
You paint exquisite pictures with your words. As I read, I found myself being transported into the world that you described. Thank you, my friend. May you forever bloom. Miss you.
6th February 2020

DESPAIR: NOT AN OPTION
Reading your wondrous blogs, Liz, awakens my senses of what life is and how important it is to include everything possible, every day. Acceptance certainly encourages one to awaken an awareness of how change is reflected in small, amazing moments and also, sitting back and appreciating a sense of peace and tranquility within. Looking around wherever you are and taking in the images of what is happening in the world, all brings meaning to life and after many travels in this world, fills me with memories, that upon reflection, makes me feel full and nourished.
6th February 2020
Twin Lakes

TWIN LAKES
Breathtaking beauty! Takes ones breath away just absorbing the picture of Twin Lakes.
7th February 2020

Brilliant words
Wow. I am blown away by your awesome and unique visualizations, so eloquently put. I am speechless by these words of enlightenment.

Tot: 0.167s; Tpl: 0.009s; cc: 30; qc: 110; dbt: 0.1218s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1; ; mem: 1.3mb