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Published: August 6th 2008
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Clubba Langing his ass!
Taking my shirt as inspiration I knocked the backtalk out this punk bitch llama's mouth. I’ll begin with some general thoughts:
- First, as you’ll notice, I have a problem with llamas. They started it. Think Conan the Barbarian and camels.
- Adam is borderline narcoleptic with an uncanny ability to sleep anywhere although he lost several sleep offs to homeless men, shameful.
- Colombian women are the most beautiful on the continent. Hands down, no contest. Argentine ladies come closest, but are still a distant second. This is to say nothing of the personalities, which is a completely different story.
- The willingness to help and sense of community between fellow travelers is amazing and gives me hope in the ability of humankind to solve its problems.
- Scott can talk about technology very intelligently. And incessantly. For 7 weeks.
- My personal hygiene was not what it could have been, to say the least.
- Machu Pichu exceeds expectations, and I didn’t even secure a life partner there.
- If you can only visit one country in South America go to Bolivia. The Salt Flats trip is perhaps the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s also the cheapest place we went.
- Goldbond powder is amazing and under utilized in society. Adam and I
Llama fight # one.
This is the trash talking bastard who started it all. You can't tell because the shutterspeed was really high on the camara but I'm streaking horizontally at its face in this picture. are going to personally try and remedy this by becoming spokesmen for the company.
- Not hanging out with someone for a few years doesn’t change much if you were good friends. It was great to see and spend so much time with Al, Erin, Scott, Meghan, Carly and Colin.
Last I left you faithful readers I was leaving Nasca headed to Machu Pichu I think….? The Nasca lines should be called the Nausea Lines. I guess they were pretty cool but going up in that little airplane, someone could have written the secret to life on the ground and I would have been lucky to see them fighting off puking as much as I was. The town was nice though, small enough that I slept a few hours in the central plaza and didn’t wake up rolled. The night bus to Cuzco was fine for me, slept like a baby, but the rest of the bus struggled through the winding Andes-crossing path, including Rip Van Winkle Kostecki. Spent a few days exploring Cuzco, left my ATM card in an ATM with the question “another transaction” screen available for the person behind me. Eight hours later when I returned, it
Engagement
This is like that movie The Other Sister where the two retards get married. Actually Meghan's really cool. Is there a movie where a normal girl marries a retarded guy? had been turned in by some kind soul to the bank. I wish I could say I learned my lesson but I did the exact same thing not an hour later, but there was a line and the guy behind me told me to grab it. From this point on I always had to be the first of us to use an ATM so I had friends behind me to get my card out. I work pretty hard to be nice to people, not because it’s the right thing to do or because the world would be a better place if we all tried to be a little nicer, but rather earning good karma credit because I’m irresponsible. I really believe that responsible people don’t need to worry about good karma so much because they don’t need the help. This is also a good reason not to trust people who are overly responsible. I also believe that responsibility is borne of worry, and it’s my lack of worry that is the root of my irresponsibility. This is not to be confused with consideration, such as meeting someone on time, because failure to do so isn’t irresponsible so much as it
Retards fighting.
You know I jump high. is inconsiderate. God pity the irresponsible AND inconsiderate, no good karma there. Anyways, after a few days we went to Aguas Calientes, the little town at the base of Machu Pichu. Upon arrival Adam and decided to hike up to test how long it’d take us to hike up the following day at 330 in the morning to see the sunrise. The only problem is we underestimated how difficult hiking straight up stairs for and hour and half at 2 in the afternoon was and we perhaps wore ourselves out a bit. You can either hike up or take a bus. The following day Adam and I did as planned and Scott and Meghan bussed up at 530, meaning they arrived a whole 25 minutes or so behind us. Machu Pichu is amazing and while there Scott proposed to Meghan. Sadly for the hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow for humanity, she said yes. Congratulations to you both. As much as I love our ridiculous photos they don’t do the place justice. I won’t go into the place other than to say it’s amazing and see it before you die. It’s one of the new 7 wonders of the
Three Ninjas
Machu Pichu was once filled with the mighty Incas. It is now full of retards. world.* We went home after and in the morning caught a bus headed to Puno and Lake Titicaca. The actual plan was to go to Titicaca from the Bolivian side but we got a little bit rejected at the border for not having any money and we had to backtrack to Puno, Peru on a little bus filled with indigenous women. Great bus actually. We got up in the morning and crossed the sketchy border which charged us 35 dollars apiece American more than the visa says, and charged me and Adam and extra 10 (payable directly to the border guys’ pockets) to let us in without our yellow fever cards. We rocked Titicaca, had lunch on an island and took the night bus to La Paz. Note to self, when going someplace sketchy, especially if you are going to arrive at night, read your guidebook before arrival. On the bus from Copacabana, Bolivia to La Paz we read that many buses leave you in shady parts of town and that sometimes people in full police uniform will come up to you, coax you into their car, and rob you. Our bus promptly left us in a shady part of
town at 10 at night, and we were immediately approached by two “tourist police” who were interested in helping us find our hostel safely. We immediately claimed family was coming to pick us up and walked quickly away, jumped in the first taxi we could find and drove off. As we were driving off, we noticed (too late sadly) that two other travelers were getting into a car with the “cops.” They had a rough first night in La Paz I’d guess. In search of some sense of brevity, I’ll leave this here and pick up on the trip next blog, hopefully sometime this week.
Total time in Buses: 150 hours or so. A mere 6 whole days of my life. Mostly I just slept though.
Total Recall: Awesome movie and the first time I saw a girl with 3 boobs.
Total trip bill: Around 3K, it could’ve been worse I guess.
Total # of old women hugged: Five.
Flippin’ your fins you don’t get too far,**
Tyrone
"You've lived long enough" ~ Adam, to all the old begger ladies who asked for money.
"Did you buy this (the engagement ring)
in Cuzco? When I was sick? With mudbutt?" Meghan in Machu Pichu.
"If I could drink all the time and not get sick... I would." ~Adam. He threw up three hours later.
*There was a worldwide vote; the other six are Petra - Jordan, Christ the Redeemer - Rio de Janeiro, Coliseum - Rome, Taj Majal - India, Great Wall of China and Chichen Itza - Mexico. www.new7wonders.com
**Legs are required for runnin’, dancin’
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Pfunk
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halla
Sweet moves with them kicks to the lamas. Scott and Adam however, well lemme just say this, I taught this one guy named Corky...I'll leave it there. Saw the new Batman movie. I heart it. Saw the Royals beat down the dirty White Sox. I heart that even more. There needs to be more bitter violence on our team. We sucked at hockey yet were still a crowd pleaser since we fought so much. If you're losing you should be a'fightin. That's what my Grandma tells me anyways. I heart the Chiefs, I heart the Royals, and am willing to sing drunken songs about them and get into fights for them all soccery like.