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Published: January 19th 2016
This is Jamie, reporting live from el baño! Holy shit is the best way to describe myself right now. Both mentally and physically. I won’t go too much into detail, but the toilet has become a personal waterslide for my bum-hole. Water is going both in and out of me. Okay, that’s enough. I’m happy my new Argentinian dorm mate and I are getting to know each other on such personal levels. I’m also happy that the dorm next to my porcelain water throne is playing pop music via a flute and ukulele. Right now they are playing, Stand By Me.
You might be wondering why I’m currently shitting my brains out? I’m glad you asked! I’m in preparation for the Ayahuasca ceremony tomorrow. I’ve decided I don’t want to wait until after the Inca Trail. I will start with one night, tomorrow, and if I feel the need of another night I can squeeze that one in too and leave for Inca the following day. I can do it. The reason I am “cleansing my body” is because a day before one drinks Ayahuasca, they must have a cleansed system as to not have an embarrassing moment
purging Ayahuasca from both ends. A nurse comes to your hostel with a Igloo jug full of Volcanic Water for you to drink. Seven to eight cups
to be exact! The water has lots of sulfate in it to rid all the toxins in your body in the form of diarrhea, yay! I was waiting for this nurse for over an hour. I was told she would come a six, she didn’t arrive until seven. The whole time it was me thinking, great! I just was scammed almost 400 bucks! But she showed, thank god.
—Later that night—
Its 5:40am and I haven’t slept since three, maybe 4am. Am I nervous? Anxious? Excited? No…I think I’m just hungry. Ugh, fasting sucks. Plus, I have a huge headache from the fast. I mean, don’t get me wrong…I am all those emotions listed above, I just know he reason I can’t sleep is hunger. I’m currently noshing on nuts and raisins my mother slipped into my bag. Good call, mom! I should’ve eaten more yesterday. I’m an idiot. I hope thou holy Mother Aya isn’t going to punish me later for spoiling my appetite.
I’m oddly serene about the whole ceremony. I’ve known about the intense healing powers of Ayahuasca for the last two years now, and how it is most definitely not
a recreational drug. I have always turned in down because I was so frightened about it. Now? All I can say is I feel
ready. I’m excited. I hope she will have the answers I am looking for.
Well, since I’m just sitting here, quietly nawing on nuts and berries, I should talk about my adventures yesterday:
I slept until 10:30 because the night before I also couldn’t sleep due the the hostel bar’s music unce-unce-uncing
outside my window. Its great how social Loki hostel is, but when the social aspects creep into your bedroom window it is time to ask for another room, farther away from the party. I passed out so hard come 6am (much the opposite of tonight). Any who, the first activity of my day consisted of requesting a room change. Thankfully, I was moved. With little time, I bypassed breakfast (rookie mistake) and beelined for the Ayahuasca retreat information center, called Etnikas. The lady instructed me to speak with her associate
over the phone. She dialed and I waited.
“Hello, Lady!” a warm voice spoke on the other line. “You are interested in Ayahuasca?”
“Yes I am,” I replied.
“Yes, yes, Lady, of course! It is a two day retreat at our facility, The day before you must drink the volcanic water to clean the system. The next day we pick you up and take you here. You will spend the day blessing the medicine and do a coca-leaf reading ceremony with one of the Shamans. The drinking ceremony will take place 7pm and last four-to-six hours. All of this for $390 USD.”
Three hundred and ninety dollars?! I thought. I mean, as long as its legit. I took this time to scroll through Trip Advisor because, yep, even Ayahuasca ceremonies have critics. As soon as a saw the five star rating I was in.
“Okay, Lady, the nurse will bring your volcanic water at 6pm tonight.”
I quickly grabbed a veggie sandwich, being one with the diet, and smoothie. I ran to the meeting place for the horse tour. I ate my food and waiting
for the guy who was to take me. It was just me who was going. The other person who signed up didn’t show. The man drove me up the mountains and explained that not only did he grow up in these mountains, but his family is 100% Quechuan. He asked me if I had family of my own. “Any husband or boyfriend?” I explained I was casually dating a few, but nothing serious. He looked at me puzzled. To justify, I explained that it was normal in America to do this. He didn’t understand so much.
The horse tour was beautiful. The only thing I wish was that the group was a little more experienced on the horses, because I wanted to run on mine! I love to horse back ride! We were pretty much ass-to-face the whole time. Except at the end they let me gallop on my horse. With the wind blowing through my hair, I felt like a real Incan woman. It was very exciting. On a perfect day, we rode all throughout the mountains as our guide showed us burial sites from the ancient royals. They are all buried in the fetal position to accommodate evolution. He also showed us tunnels and trails, like the Inca Trail, created as a pathway up to the high mountains to escape the Catholic take-over of the Inca culture. All very interesting.
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