Alright Geyser

---

The last week has flown by like an Andean Condor. We have travelled the length of a country, landed in another and seen all manner of things in between. Its currently roasting outside, hence the internet breather. The crazy thing is, only yesterday I had on my entire arsenal of winter gear.

We are currently in San Pedro de Atacama which is slap bang in the middle of the dryest desert in the world, the Atacama. I thought that was Death Valley in Colorado but apparently that is the hottest. Clearly there are a lot of 'most ..... in the world' places out there. Even Bristol must have one. Answers on a postcard please.

Our manic week started with the all-night bus ride from La Paz to Uyuni. We had about 15 Israelis on board who annoyed the hell out of me. They seemed to think they were on a school trip. That said, the bus wasn't too bad and I'm getting used to sleeping sitting up. All went well until about 3am when we left any semblance of road behind and seemed to just drive straight across the scrub ground. Apparently they don't do roads in South Bolivia. We were heading for Uyuni, a small town in the middle of nowhere, which serves as a convenient starting point for tours across the Salar de Uyuni which is the world's largest (another one!) salt flat.

Uynuni itself is a real frontier town, resembling a few places I've been to in the Auusie outback. Its the only real 'town' (and I use that word loosely) for miles around. Soph was exhausted when we arrived at 8 in the morning so we found a hostel and I packed her off to bed while I set off to explore town. At about 8.19 I'd finished exploring and was wondering how the hell I was going to fill my day. It wasn't quite that bad but suffice to say Uyuni was not overflowing with excitement. It did give me the opportunity to sample some more of Bolivia's legendary (lack of) service skills. The guy who served us breakfast had the demeanor of El Hadj Diouf and, if he didn't understand something we said, employed the unusual tactic of simply walking away. The pizza we ordered later for dinner took over 1 hour to come. I kid you not. Base, topping, oven for 15 minutes, remove. Trained monkeys could have done it quicker. No apology from the staff; just a surly grunt. I normally tip in restaurants but I must have tipped less than 50% in Bolivia.

Bolivia is South America's poorest country. Its economy is not in very good shape, to put it mildly. There are a number of reasons for this as I've mentioned before - political instability and corruption to name a few. However, whatever industry you are into, a bit of customer service goes a long way. If tourism is anything to go by, its not surprising their economy is the proverbial dog's dinner. That said, it is a country rich in natural beauty.

We headed out on our 3 day salt lake tour which is a bit of a misnomer as we actually saw a hell of a lot more than just the salt plain. We had selected our tour company carefully; not surprisingly (given my character assasination of the Bolivian Tourism Industry), out of the 50 or so companies that run these jeep tours, none get glowing reviews. However some are better than others. We chose one that did not have a record of drivers falling asleep at the wheel or getting stranded due to repeated engine problems. We had another English couple in our group (about our age) and a fortysomething Aussie couple. It was a great group and we had an absolute blast.

Day 1 of the trip was over the Salar de Uyuni (the salt plain). It is a remnant of a giant inland sea that existed a long time ago. Various tectonic shifts have put paid to the sea but several large salt flats remain in the area. The Salar was incredible. There is nothing flash about it - its a large area covered in salt - but under a spotless blue sky it is blindingly white and so falt you can see for miles. It is an amazing sight. Like most of the other tourists out there we spent a good proportion of the afternoon taking novelty photos. Because the white expanse is so featureless you can stand quite a way away from another object, say, a bottle and when taken correctly it looks like you are standing on top a giant bottle. Or you can try holding a tiny jeep or person in your hand. You get the idea. Anyway, when we weren't mucking about, we treated the natural beauty with due reverence.

Our first night was spent in pretty basic accomodation just off the salt plain in a small village. It was pretty damn cold due to a biting wind. We were still at a high altitude, as we have been for last 3-4 weeks. However, the whole Southern part of Bolivia, despite being at high altitude, is very flat. There aren't many mountains around, aside from several volcanoes that puntuate the horizon, meaning that there is very little shelter from the wind.

Our second day (and third for that matter) was spent driving around the desert area in our jeep. Our driver (called, you guessed it, Juan) didn't speak any English but I could just about work out most of what he was saying. Although we were travelling across the 'desert' the scenery was remarkably varied. The landscape included mountains, volcanoes, sandy desert, scrubland, smaller salt flats and lakes in weird and wonderful colours. We saw huge (thankfully dried) lava fields and even saw a volcano omitting clouds of ash. Juan told us it was on the Chilean side so there was nothing to worry about. The wildlife was cool as well. We saw hundreds of flamingoes, viscachas (little animals that look like a rabbit/rat), small sparrow-like birds that ran like the wind (they actually looked like the old cartoon roadrunner) and vicunas. The latter are a type of gazelle I believe and their wool is, pound for pound, the most expensive natural fibre in the world; apparently about 5 times the price of silver.

Our second and last night was spent in this little settlement in the middle of nowhere. The wind was howling and, donning our woolen hats, we huddled up inside with very little to do. Amazingly, there was a small shop selling beer and the six of us spent the evening playing the funniest game of sh*thead (or any card game for that matter) I've ever played. The lights went off about 9.30 but we carried on by candlelight probably keeping the rest of the joint up.

On the third morning, with marginal hangovers, Juan got us up at 5am to go to a geyser field nearby. It was well worth it (sulphur smell aside) as there were hundreds of pools of mud bubbling away. There was one giant steam vent which was deafening. It was like standing next to a plane taking off (something I have experience of from my younger, stupider days). Typical South America: there was no rope or anything - you could just walk up to it and stick your head in if you so wished. We also visited some hot springs whilst Juan got breakfast ready. Juan's cooking was 'plain' to put it politely and the rolls were getting progressively more stale by the day. It was therefore with some relief that we then headed to the Chilean border for our transfer to San Pedro. We had got our exit stamp in Uyuni as the Bolivian border post was apparently unreliable i.e., there are regular stories of people waiting the best part of a day for them to open. There was a guy there but he barely glanced at our passports, waving us through. Within metres of hitting Chilean soil, we were greeted by a proper road, something we hadn't seen for days. There were also real-life road signs and the driver didn't seem to take every corner at breakneck speed. We had heard that Chile was more westernised but I did not expect the difference to be so palpable.

That said, I really enjoyed Bolivia. Its a lovely country and you get excellent value for money. And its authentically South American. I know I griped about it a bit: you wouldn't want to live there but its a great place to visit. Since starting this blog, we've taken another overnighter from San Pedro to La Serena on the coast. Its strange but we could be in any westernised country here. We went to a big mall yesterday with huge shops, McDonalds and a multiscreen cinema. I almost ran screaming from the building. It was so weird seeing these places after a week in the backroads of Bolivia. Its nice to hit civilisation for a little while but I'll certainly be glad to into rural Chile & Argentina and leave Maccy D's behind.

---