Brazil

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Almost a month into our trip and we still haven´t started our blog, so I thought I would sit down, take time out of Buenos Aires busy schedule and write some stuff down before I forget.

First things first, Mum this isn´t going to be very parent friendly, if you need some help understanding slang terms use www.urbandictionary.com and you taught me to always tell the truth...so I am just abiding by house rules.

Although we are in B.A. I can´t be bothered to write about Argentina or Paraguay just yet so this is only about the three weeks in Brazil. Me and Hal started in Rio, we arrived late at night me being terrified of the oncoming four months. Once we arrived at the hostel it was all a bit surreal, me and Hal in jeans trainers and t-shirts with our oversized bags and a gormless expression slapped across our face. We had no idea what was to come.

We settled in quickly in Rio, but this will be the part of the trip I talk least of (even though we spent 8 days there). The hostel was brilliant, we met so many nice people who settled our nerves quickly. Rio was pretty much what you expect Rio to be. Beautiful girls, lots of beaches, samba and favelas. Nevertheless it had the capacity to suprise you, its natural beauty is phenomenol. The city is tucked between these small mountains which looks incredible (especially when compared to the brick shithole Sao Paolo).

We did the tourist sites, Sugar Loaf, Christ, Copacobana, Ipanema but the two best trips were by far the Favela tour and the Maracana. The favela tour was an eye opener, it smashed my preconceptions of a favela. It was like a city in itself, with a centre, a working economy. The big mobile companies had representatives within the favelas and there were shops. We visited the biggest favela in Rio with a population of 200,000 (bigger then Cardiff city). There is no working sewage system so shit runs down the roads, all the eletricity is siphoned so there are wires everywhere and rubbish is EVERYWHERE. Despite all this the locals seem to love it, not like the miserable mopey bankers of Sao Paolo (or London). We were not in a pacified favela which made the experience a bit more authentic, we were only allowed to take photos at specific points but you could see the logistics of the drug dealers everywhere. Kids walk around with kites, while teenagers are lookouts in case of police. The influence of the lords are everywhere which makes the favelas very safe from crime. Our guide put it simply, you are not going to be robbed because if you are the drug lords will kill the person who takes your camera. Simples. Apart from the safety another striking feature was how many people who live in the favela do so by choice not by pragmatism. Lots of people have enough money to leave and live in Rio but they refuse to because they miss the community spirit of a favela. Adriano is the biggest example, he is a favela legend, they sell coke with his face on the baggy. He left Inter to go play for Flamengo (who we coincidently saw play), he now lives in a favela. My favourite story was about when he won Player of the Year. The Brazilian F.A. had a huge award ceremony, the president of Brazil was there. Adriano didn´t show up, instead he had a barbeque with his favela friends. Just jamming, bunning and cracking jokes. New found respect for the fat bastard.

The Maracana was equally spectacular. The atmosphere puts English football games to shame. The fans are in military synchronisation. Thousands of hands waving and flags flying, people screaming at the top of their lungs. The photos say a thousand words so I will be quick to get them online.

Moving swiftly on to Sao Paolo. The party town of Brazil, its clubs are its only saving grace. In essence Sao Paolo was the business machine of Brazil and you can see why Brazil is included in the BRICs. Dom arrived with only two nights, so we took him out on the last. It was a very surreal club full of the middle classes of Sao Paolo. The music policy was very odd as well, it was ALL western indie. It was like being in London but the girls were fitter and the people were more sober. Hal and Dom were to entertain some lovely young ladies. There is a lot more to say about Sao Paolo but I am trying to be quick, I have probably bored you enough already. The best day was probably the last, we had checked out but our coach was not until 10 30 so in true British spirit we got drunk and played obnoxious dubstep. It was a winner at the hostel, the staff coming out to give us free drinks and dance while the fitties of the hostel sunbathed. It was necessary for Hal to hit the liquor after an unfortunate event earlier that day. As we all know Hal takes longer than anyone to shit...he has lived to regret this. While sitting, reading, pondering, whatever he does in that hour, he had the joy of listening to two people having sex in the shower next to him. I'm not sure what was more scarring, Hal having to listen to two drunks (who shall not be named) at it like bunnies or the bunnies having to listen to the groans of Hal.

From Sao Paolo we moved on to Florianopolis, the beach resort of Brazil. We had a very different experience than most as we were staying in the South of the island which is a lot more relaxed. We stayed at a hostel called Bells, I´m not sure whether to rave about it or warn people. It was a shit hole, there were cockroaches everywhere, our room flooded and there was a underlying stench of urine. Nevertheless we still loved the place because of one man; Gecko. He was the owner of the hostel and what an owner. He gave us free beer, free draw, free cigarettes and knocked off money from our bill. It was probably because he loved our South London charm that he also gave us a t-shirt (golddust in South America where you sweat like a pig). Florianopolis was just jokes, we didn´t rave it like Sao Paolo or Rio, we just jammed with locals. In a beach town draw was necessary so we went on a mission, we managed to pick up about a 30s for just under 10 pounds, it was a rip off for Brazilians a bargin for us. It was some proper Bob Marley shit, not your classic London superskunk which has been drowned in chemicals. It was perfect for the beach and our favourite place, the lake. The lake was about a half hour walk from where we were staying (the buses were awful). It was fresh water, secluded perfect for swimming. Seemed like a good place to take a girl, but Hal and Dom sufficed. The nights of Florianopolis were mainyl spent with local people, we got talking to this guy called Birit who was an English teacher/Casual drug dealer/Fixer/Capoeira master. He liked us becuase he wanted to practice his English, we liked him because he had some very very bizarre stories. He tried to get Hal a date, which ended in misery after the girl suspected that Hal (being a rich gringo) had paid Birit to hook them up.

This leads us lastly to Iguazu Falls, another place where pictures definitely tells a thousand words. It is difficult to explain Iguazu, it is just a cascade of 100s of water falls which make a phenomenol sound and are huge and impressive. It is undoubtedly the most incredible thing I have seen and I seriously doubt I will ever see anything better, no made man structure could possibly match it. I am not going to waste words trying to talk about it because I will just upload the photos, you poor people have already read enough. I will just finish up with talk a bit about our stay in Iguauzu. It had a restaurant which is any South London boys dream. All you can eat Pizza for 3 pounds. It was like the Pizza Hut buffet but with better Pizza and you didn´t have to bother to leave you chair. People just come round with platters of Pizza and you either accept or waft them away. Hal did no such wafting as he is a fat bastard, Dom even bequethed his pizza buffet title after Hal proved himself. It was a sad demise of a legendary eater but Hal brought out a fantastic performance, I watched in disgust. We also experienced a bit of Brazilian carnival, in Iguazu, it was shockingly awful and was called Carnafalls. Iguazu has taken the ugliest women of Brazil, Paraguay and Argentina and put them in one place. The only saving grace was the cheap beer.

Ok that is it for now, I am sorry for the rushed, poor grammar and the lack of jokes. This all probably seems more interesting to me than you guys, but I will keep you updated about our travels.

Much love and drop me an email.

Tom x

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