no more ham and cheese please!

---

howdy partners,

well, firstly let me just start by reasurring you all that we´re alive. there was no kidnapping or hostaging or robbing to be done in the land of rio, it was all good. so chill wintsons. but more of that later.

i realised that i forgot to mention a vital part of our argentinian trip. after the waterfalls we went to see a part of the iguacu river where the 3 tributaries come together before it goes down to the falls. the interesting thing about the divide is that it separates 3 countries, brazil, paraguay and argentina and its only from this point that you can see all 3 countries. they all have the same landmark depicting their countries colours. its impressive, you can see the pictures. the brazil/paraguay border is one of the most frequently crossed in the world. the reason is that its cheaper to buy food in brazil than paraguay, and cheaper to buy electronics in paraguay than brazil. so everyone crosses the border to do their shopping.

so... it was the end of our iguacu trip and we were all set for our 24 hr bus ride to rio de janeiro, we got up in time, had our brekkie (bread, ham and cheese... you will detect a running theme in the breakfast area!), went to the shop for supplies and cash and went back to pay the hostel. our bus left at 12. it was 11,55 and the bus was picking us up from the hostel. perfect. there had been people milling around before we went to the shops that werent there when we got back but that was ok, right, the guys who worked there hadnt said anything so it was fine. fine, until one of them asked us where we were going. ´rio´. he looked down, looked at the computer, looked at the clock, and back at the computer, then, with what can only be described as a mixed look of pity, anguish, dispair, exhasperation and confusion he just looked at us and let out a slow ´giirrrls!????!!!!´. hmmm. the tickets came to the hostel, not the bus. logical really, that the national state bus would leave from the main bus station and not come down all the back streets specifically to pick 2 english girls up coz their bags were a bit heavy. numpties. luckily they made a couple of phone calls and held the bus up just long enough for us to get a taxi there. it was literally pulling away as we arrived. we had to throw ourselves infront of it. they werent very pleased with us. what ever happened to manhyana? i thought all south america took its time. no no no, not the case, they all leave on time, and even arrive at destinations early sometimes. not something im used to.

the bus was ok, 24hrs was better than expected, they had a couple of films on, one was english, bringing down the house, with steve martin. not bad. we stopped at another service station that only sold more cheese and ham pasties and chicken twizzlers. mmm (sarcasm). arriving in rio is a mixed bag. from whatever direction you come you have to go through the slums and flavelas to get there. to be honest, i was expecting worse. dont get me wrong, i wouldnt want to live there, its not nice, but the structures are ok, they´ve even got a couple of nice buildings and churches. theres schools and community centres and bars and all sorts. its not like the slums of india. quite a few people have said to use, locals and travellers, somewhat controversially, that people here choose to live in the slums of rio, unlike proper 3rd world countries. now, i´m not about to agree with them, but it looks ok, i can see how they might get this opinion. the locals dont like the film city of god, they think it paints a bad picture of the slums thats not really true. maybe when we go back we´ll go on a tour of them and ill tell you then what my conclusion is.

anyway, lets move on to more interesting things, namely having to bribe the police within 10 mintues of arriving in rio. ha, that got your attention didnt it. our bus got in an hr late, we were going a bit crazy coz we were supposed to get a lift to our hostel at 12 and had no way of knowing how to get there miles on the other side of the city. luckily the guy was there. he picked us up in his old banger and we headed out on the highway round the outskirts of rio. he might have been going a little faster than he should have been. and that might have sparked the attention of a police car that drove up behind us and flagged us down. a mighty man with a mighty machine gun got out and bruised his way over. our little rio dude got out and started talking his way out of whatever it was that had happened. at first i wasnt too worried, so he was speeding a bit, it was a busy highway, what were they going to do? then the guy went to get his car documents. he didnt have them on him. great. so we sat in the back of the car and sweated for about 10 minutes whilst there was more animated chatting. our driver came back to the car and shaking his head put his hand together and said ´help.. please help´. oh for gods sake. we had to give the police 50reals to let him go. if we hadnt they would have inpounded his car. as we drove off the driver told us to look up the motorway, all along the police were stopping cars with white travellers and white couples in. baksheesh and corruption written all over it. god damn police, cant trust them.

that was eventful. we drove and drove and drove and eventually got to our hostel... in the middle of nowhere! it was a residential area, closed off with security gates. basically it was a couples house and the house oppostie, a guest house more than a hostel. run by fernanda (woman) and flavio (man). they were non commital when we arrived to say the least. just sort of pointed to our dorm and went back doing whatever it was they were doing (actually they were moving a piece of hash around the table looking for a place to hide it and pointing at us... we told them not to bother... we´d already seen it! the looked releived and settled down again). the hostel was clean but there were no locks, and the doors and windows were wide open and no lockers to put important stuff. trying to give our passports to flavio was no-go, we was too stoned to wake up when we went in. i know what you´re all thinking, why didnt we get the hell out. well, we didnt know where we were but we knew it was way out of town. and it was carnival weekend, there was nowhere else to go. and there were other travellers bags there. so we risked it. and it was ok, all our stuff was fine for thetime we were there. but i dont think we´ll do it again.

we headed back into town (1.5hrs on the bus... the guide book quotes the drivers in rio as acting as though there were formula 1 drivers. they´re not wrong. a bus ride in rio is a must do experince, a hair raising, rollercoaster of a ride you dont know whether to laugh or cry.. but whatever you do, dont try standing!) and went to copacabana. it was pretty dead in truth, the processions for the avo had finished and we were unaware at the time that the ´lapa´ district of town was the place to go after dark and rave. so we had some food and walked on the beach (also dead, noone goes on beaches at night, anywhere, not the done thing aparently) and got a bus and very hairy taxi back, thought he was going the wrong way for ages. but he kept talking and laughing, eek! turns out he had never been there before and this was the second time he´d had to go there this eve. hilarious. just get us home in one piece! he did and was very nice about it in the end, even though we´d just poked him repeatedly and flapped a piece of paper in his face for the entirity of the journey.

saturday was a new day. 21/2/09. another breakfast of ham and cheese. ahhh, i cant take anymore ham and cheese, its all they eat!!! i feel like a sweaty piece of plastic cheese and reconstituted salty poor excuse for a piece of pig.

anyway...i can safely say that for the next few days we came, we saw and we damn nailed carnival on the head. the street parades are free and they all about the blocos, local samba bands who stand on top of a truck and move very slowly through their areas with wild crowds following behind sambaing all the way, everyone joins in. we went to ipanema beach where one fo the 2 best ones was supposed to be in a square set back from the beach. settled on the balcony of an irish bar we watched the streets fill up and the music start. it was pretty much like gay pride in brighton, ie lots of drag and queens and colours. after a couple of hrs we headed down onto the street and moved through the throngs of half drunk buzzing crowds down to the seafront. it was BANGING!! the 4 lane road had been closed off and it was a massive hub of excitement and music and dancing and drinking. everyone talked to everyone and mingled, it was a good street party. we got a bottle of vodka from the supermarket and spent the evening wandering round the crowds and working our way to copacabana, the next beach along.

it was well fun. so the night went on, and it got late, and we realised that we perhaps needed to get back to our hostel. but it was ok, the buses ran late, we saw them going past. there was the bus number 175. there it was again. and again. we were definately on the right road yes? yes, it was the only seafront road and we came along it yest. there was another 175. no other buses. well, maybe they´d been diverted one road up, we´d seen a few up there. we went up. there were some buses, but not ours. ok, so the buses were running, we just had to wait. we went back down to the waterfront. 175, 175, another bloody 175. back to the other road. still no 382, our bus. we were slightly exhasberated by this point and decided it was the right time to have a debate (not mini argument you understand!) about which was safer at that precise moment in time, rio or brixton. i argued for rio. we couldnt agree and we were drunk and there were no buses and we wanted to go back. we caved and had a macdonalds instead. guilty sin but it was goooood. we could have had a bobs, the other fastfood chain here, but it wouldnt have been the same. we settled on catching a van to barra shopping mall nearish the hostel and got a taxi.

22/2/09. sunday. the biggest day of carnival because of bank holiday monday (and tuesday actually so mondays a big day too). the day started with a trip to macumba beach, the local surf beach. because of the crowds it took an hr longer to get there. george, our driver and cleaner took us down with great patience, dropped us off and said he´d pick us up at 4. it was beautiful, but rammed. we got an umbrella and resided under it for the rest of the day. they have these massive birds in rio, the look like terradactiles from jurassic park. its wierd. back to the umbrellea ella ella ella...and still i got burnt! how how how? im brown now, ha, and i didnt peel. yes! we didnt get a lift back from george, and at 4.45 we were considering our options. luckily instead a canadian woman and her friend marco rocked up claiming they were sent to pick us up. its always slightly unnerving when someone in a foreign country who you have never seen before and have no reason to know taps you on the shoulder and says your name. you´re never too sure whether to hug them or run from them. instead i find you invariably end up squinting at them in that ´who the fuck are you explain yourself now!´kind of look. it works for the main.

we didnt really have a plan for the eve, we were going to mooch into town and see what there was about. when we got back the rest of the people in the hostel were gathering to go to the sambadrome, fernanda and flavio were going to take us all coz they could get cheap street tickets, easy when you know how! woohoo, we so wanted to go but didnt think we stood a chance. we´d met some guys from new york the night before who paid 350usd for their tickets... there was no way we could afford that. 30reals on the other hand. yippee. 12 of us got the van to the sambadrome, the massive concreate parade showground, one long promenade lined with stands either side holding 10s of 1000s of people. the place was crazy busy, all the samba school dancers have to wait their turn outside so you see thousands lined up with their massive costumes waiting to go in. we had to get there fast, not only had it already started but the gangs were rife. one of the american girls we were with had the unfortunate naievity to get her very posh camera out on the back streets. a mafia gang set to swarming around us immediately. thankfully the rio guys shooed them off and we briskly walked on. she got a swift telling off.

our tickets were for stand 6, set slightly back from the other stands its the cheap bit where all the locals go. you cant see all the way down the main parade, you see it on a screen and then they just come past you. but it was fine. the samba schools love the end because they know they´ll get the best cheering and singing along. and we´ve saw the gates being closed after every one. you dont know what i mean.... the way that carnival works is all about the samba schools local and national and competing to be the best school in brazil.. this happens in the rio sambadrome. the samba schools are divided into leagues, allowing promotion and renegation and build up all through the year. the primary division is in the sambadrome, which holds 90 thousand spectators. 6 or 7 samba schools perform a night, each one can have up to an 1.5hr slot depending on how many people are in the school.. anywhere between 3-5 thousand... per school! thats a lot of participants. it starts at 9pm and finishes at 6am. each school has a theme (the ones we worked out this year was one about the ocean, one about the french revolution, and another one about water) and a single song (sung repeatedly for an hr) and their parade is around both of these. the costumes and floats and atmosphere is out of this world. the crowds go crazy throughout the hot feverish night. fireworks mark the start of each new school, but this can only be done after the closing of the gates on the last one and the cleaners have had a 5 minute sweep up to prepare for the next. they need to do this for the floats, costumes and footwear, its staggering, literally! hehe. the main schools are beija-flor, mangueira and of course rio state. the judges pick the best 3 and they´re invited back for the next year, then its new entrants and schools to fill the rest of the places. and they all have to ditch the costumes and floats as soon as they´ve finished and start on new themes and costumes for the next year. crazy! millions of reals goes into it every year.

we stayed until 5am. before having to get back to the van, altogether. nightmare. you dont want to get lost in or outside the sambadrome, and we lost about half the people. ins and outs happened but we found them at the van and headed home at 6. good work.

and now, ive written enough for the time being. im going to go and tend to my mozzi bites, i´ve got 20, most of them from sat eve, evidently they love vodka! heres another piece of info for you, brazil (and south america so im told), is brimming to the max with canadians and aussis, you cant move for them. the canadians i can live without, their accents and their general loud and overconfident demeanour is too much, pleasent enough as they can be... but its quite nice to see some aussis, coz you dont see them much around the rest of the world (save uk) do you? we were just of the opinion they didnt get out much... but its ok guys, they´re all hanging out here.

def enough now.
please email me with everything that going on, i know its only been 10 days, only just about long enough to start to ponder my whereabouts, but the days will turn into weeks then months and you´ll all forget about me. facebook me and email me and txt me.

hope you´re all well
love me
xxx

---

Comments

[Ian C]

please email me with everything that going on
15 BOH 22 BOL FAF at 6 day ageing