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Published: October 12th 2008
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Departure....
It doesnt matter how many times you leave your friends and family, it still hurts my hurt and makes my eyes wet. Still doesnt feel as if we are really going, until we leave the business snob lounge with our pockets stuffed full of free goodies (scouse style)! Air France is pretty moody but Will and I spaz out nonetheless at the comfort and the gadgets on board (with obvious disapproving looks from the toffs of course!) No time for messing there are Xanax to be ate ZZZZZzzzzz! Killwillbarometer 6/10: Overdosing on sleeping tabs aint cool
Touchdown...27th Aug
Driving through early morning Rio seeing downtown, sugar loaf and Christ felt pretty surreal. We opt for a 6am jog along Cococabana beach whilst we wait for our room. ARE WE REALLY JOGGING??? IN RIO??? AT 6AM??? We spend the day on the beach re-charging. All day long..do you wanna buy an ice cream...do you wanna buy an ice cream...a fish on a stick, a towel, a drink, a tattoo, a car plate, a map, a dress, a football top, a biscuit, some nuts....IT IS NUTS!!!! Each seller on the beach shouting to compete with the other hundred sellers. Not much
thong action going down so we decide to brave downtown and grab some dinner at Rio Scenario which looks fresh from an antique warehouse. Good food, we spot some samba classes across the street and sneak preview some moves, sweat and a lot of hair flicking. We opt out quickly and head home tired and grumpy. Killwillbarometer 6/10: Being shouted at by dad for running on after a 14hr flight wasnt pleasant. Kisswillbarometer 7/10: He looks so god damn handsome catching those waves on Cococabana!
28th Aug...
Am forced to pretend getting up for a 6am jog is exciting as I sleepwalk down for breakfast, but as soon as my feet hit the beach and I see those mountains as the waves crash down trhough the sunrays I bounce all the way around beaming like a crazy woman yelling 'I'M A TOURISTTTT!!!!" Christian our guide collects us for the 1st of our many amazing sights. Christ the Redeemer on top of Corocavado mountain. Nothing can prepare you for how amazing it feels to be stood underneath this world wonder looking over Rio. It is simply breathtaking. We of course take as many comical trick angle camera shots imitating Jesus
as one of our gang 😊 The afternoon is spent on Ipanema Beach THONG CENTRAL, jesus these girls practically talk to you from their thighs. Not suprisingly Will goes for a little walk to find some 'burn me quick' suntan oil, ahhhh how thoughful. His ass isnt safe on the beach, and loads of attention from oiled up muscle clad brazilian hunks all stare at Will! Errrrr Helllo????? What about me!!!! We cruise down the beach and watch the sunset on the beachside. It truly amazing and romance oooooozzzes! Kisswillbarometer 10/10: sunsets and boyfriends are a winning combo. Killwillbarometer 10/10: His phone alarm going off for 3 hours at 1am nearly killed me.
29th Aug...
The day starts on deathrow for William after the pleasant alarm incident but he quickly receives pardon as we make our way up Sugar Loaf mountain on the cable car of fear!!! We take in some city landmarks beforehand as Christian tries to sell us his christian ways at the local monestry which apparently has the best schooling in Rio. I'm sure I felt buring on my skin under the alter...I must confess soon! The cable car rocks as 30+ school children all scream
with fear as the cart rocks up the mountain. My screams are of course the loudest, thanks god they remain only in my head. Will coaches me to the top and the panic was more than worth the fantastic views. Brazil is truly beautiful and its too much to take in. We head back (I'm still gripped to the wall) and spend the afternoon on thong watch on Cococabana. We catch some waves which are MASSIVE and true to form I get smashed head over heels and receive my 1st of many wounds to come a cut nose and full boob exposure shame. After a hit n miss taxi ride in Spanglish we get to Sushi Leblon for dinner in the urber chic Rio, although dinner is amazing (have you tried the caramilised banana HEAVEN!!) its hard not to feel guilty when we leave and see 3 grown men selling gum for 30p on the corner... Rio definately keeps the top at the top and the poor desperate. It starts to rain....
30th Aug...
Rain in Rio NOT GOOD!!!! Cancel our boat trip and wander the streets before giving up and getting back in bed with Madonna. We head
to zaza bistro in Ipanema for dinner, a mix of moroccan meets portuguese venue with the best food so far. Afterwards, we head downtown central to the shady streets of Lapa which is far from tourist friendly and my bumhole twitches as we drive past the gangs hanging out under the shady bridges and booty galore parades the streets, MOVE OVER JLO!!! We hit Estrada de Lapa a famous Samba nightclub and a minor Latino celeb belts out some bosanova tunes, similiar to Garlands you need to be smashed to endure the continuous beat, plus a sweaty pit touched my shoulder so its time to go! We bravely venture another bar thats definately not on our Itinerrrarrryyy WiiLLLLLL!!!! So just in case the armed Rio gangs didnt know the white and blonde new kids on the block were tourists, Will the wanderer gets out his camera and stands in the middle of the road taking pictures of the pretty bridge at midnight, SMILE MURDERER, CHEESE KIDNAPPER! Just in case we still dont get seen Will then smashes his glass on the pavement to attract attention WE'RE HERE!!!!! TAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIIIII!!! My bum twitches all the way home but that could be the
samba 😊
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allie x
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wow wow wow
oh my god babe x it sounds breath taking x loving reading all about your amazing adventure xxxxxxxxxxxx