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Percy walks
about that compass So, a quick tour entry blog journal doot doot here…This was were we did the proper tourist feeling and ran like hell through most of Bolivia over little time and covered almost everything offered to us from within the Lonely Planet…Starting in Sucre (apparently the nations capitol, although argumentative) for old school Jurassic Juxtaposition Juggling Jitterbugs….DINOSAUR TRAX…then to the world’s richest Silver mine (in one of the world’s poorest countries)…and finally to a whole lot of nothing..! Basically as far as the eye can see - all right if you like salt on your chips!
So, Dinosaur tracks which weren’t really dinosaur tracks - probably…I reckon some kid was having fun with a compass and etched out some patterns in the side of a rock…! Any way…met our tour guide called JC…not the son of the lord, but possibly one of the maddest characters I have ever met!!!...So there was Rob and I with some other English kid and this Aussie bird following aul JC round as he started describing 2nd year geography lessons in his broken English and occasionally spitting in Rob’s face!!!....Which in turn started off a laughing contest between all of us - bit like sitting in
DIPLO-who?
coool man! assembly hall when you were 12 for Mr Ridley calling out some precautions for the latest medical outbreak - and Pringles, once you stop you can’t start…So there was me trying to tell JC that I was rolling around on the floor laughing because Rob was asking how the dinosaurs could walk up walls…and not the fact that he had snots coming out his nose!! Then another geography lesson using the adaptable props of phone cards to explain the whole tectonic plate theory, well reality. Heh JC, mine’s already been scratched - are you selling me a dud!? …Again - someone pass a tissue! Possibly one of the best tours I have ever been on…Only for the comedy value and the giant life-size fiberglass Diplodocus! And worse still, ejit mark here then invited him to the pub for a pint where he poured his heart out about his love for the Beatles and guitars…! Seriously - be quiet next time ye ejit!
And on to Potosi for the mines. Stayed one night in the highest city in the world (4200m above sea level)- and one night was enough as it would have killed me to stay any longer! The
Potossi Mountain
So yeah, the Spanish squandered all their wealth from this one mountain...what a find back in the 1600's...eh! air was soooo thin and it was well cold - like 3 / 4 quilts on the bed and it still wasn’t enough. So into the mine dressed like an idiot in an orange jumpsuit with a guide that translated 1 out of every 30 words but sure that’s what happened when you scrimp 2 pound on your mine tour!!! 10 boliviano is equal to 1 pound! MENTAL! Met some devil dude with a massive wee willy willy, and laughed at that for a bit but then got told it was the devil and he would strike me down because I was inside the ground…And apparently all above the ground is God’s - fair enough, but once below - you must worship the devil…Is this not blasphemy or something, I don’t know, and I surely wasn’t ready to argue in my 3 words of Spanish!...So yeah, after 3 ½ hours underground breathing silly amounts of sulphur and asbestos…we eventually saw sunlight - and about bloody time cos it nearly killed me!...
So yeah…2 out of 3 done, once again on a dodgy ass Bolivian bus in the rain to travel down to Uyuni to look at salt for 3
ugggggh
horsey bits anyone....can be found down your local meat market today! days - why not?!?!?...well just to play shithead really ( a card game mum, see I’m not swearing really!)…Anywho - The amount of salt looking was drastically reduced when we bumped into 3 Aussie mentalists in our jeep and then an Irish and Scottish hippie - now that is never a good combination I will tell ye now!...So we arrive at the hostel 4pm, by 4 30 we are full swing into our shithead marathon and by 2 in the morning after 12 bottles of wine and 2 bottles of Vodka we are all lying outside in the freezing cold staring at the sky…well the most beautiful sky I have ever seen! People who use powerful 200 pound Christmas present telescopes from Argos (or any other reputable high street dealer) have not seen a sky like this. I mean, ‘Orion’s Belt’, I could make out his bloody Calvin Klein boxer shorts on underneath!...And the fact I was well into my Stephen Hawking book at this time all of a sudden made me an astronomical genius giving lessons to the group on the creation of the universe and black holes and speed of light blah blah blah, and also making up
I'm a miner and I don't care
look at me, I can stop traffic looking this rare! names of the various constellations I was pulling out of my arse!!!
(Could I just point out at this stage that I have now completed that book twice and am no further along on the understanding of what the hell he is talking about - something about string theory and the anthropic principle) pah! So the next day up at 6 in the morning, (that will teach you for getting drunk) driving through the most beautiful landscapes in the world and all we could do was turn down all Kodak moment opportunities and tell our driver to put his foot down till lunch, because we were all DYING!!! Heads on us like tick tock clox! So basically 2 days of lagoons and flamingos and funny shaped rocks and other bits…And although this sounds crazy, even more because I have driven through a lot more since…But I got bored (as did everyone else). You are seriously driving through the most spectacular views I, (or any of you trapped in Northern Ireland, etc) have ever seen…Slieve Donard can go and turn into a molehill! This was amazing - but it gets samey…and eventually you end up putting your feet up
workers
did I mention this is still a fully functioning working mine....and these guys were burring past us all day long with their mad carts...DANGEROUS OR WHAT!? and reading a book! Ha ha ha…Plus on top of this since I’ve travelled through Peru and Chile where journeys take so long because you have to zig-zag through the Andes to get anywhere, and they are MASSSSSEEEEEEV!
I will miss those sights - a lot, mainly probably because I know it is going to be a long time before I see that type of scenery again! O hang on wait a minute - I’m in New Zealand now (as I type this)…so maybe a bit sooner than I expected…But just not the Andes side of things…And next time I promise myself I will put that tent to far better use!....
PROMISE
Now…nearly at La Paz…but this is scaring me to even think about it! Hmmmmmmmmmmm…
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