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Published: April 13th 2007
So much to tell.... We arrived in New Zealand just 2 weeks ago, it seems longer through the sheer amount of near death experiences. However, let us begin with Auckland.
We were both glad to be back in the hubbub of normal city life following Fiji. I never thought I'd say it, but you miss the city when it doesnt exist. The first thing that made our little eyes open to the size of saucers was the sight of 'Piemania' opposite our hostel. Yes a little shop devoted entirely to the experimentation of pie recipes. We were awestruck. They take anything, ANYTHING, and they stick it in a pie. Brilliant. Anyway, aside from pies, we spent a few days in Auckland, reacclimatising to civilisation and healing our Fijian injuries (there were many). We managed to find free trips to take us around the city and, in a nutshell, we saw it all, all that Auckland had to offer. In addition to the free trips we tracked down the elusive 'Ice bar' which is made entirely of ice, even the glasses and the sofas. Everythings ice. And they only serve vodka cocktails because vodka doesnt freeze. They proper kit you
out in big ole parkers and boots and stuff, but you still freeze in there. Interesting though. We spent our first night in Auckland sampling the 'immigrant culture' at the local Irish pub, you will see some of the ridiculous photos no doubt that that night on the Guinness created. Other than that we went to the Skytower as well, its high, there's lots of bright night lights, if you want you can chuck yourself off it (this is the general consensus of most things in New Zealand we have now discovered), its nowt special though.
Moving on, after sheer luck and good timing we managed to get a ticket round New Zealand for about 200 dollars less than we should have (yay) and headed off to Paihia up in the North. Here we joined the swimming with dolphins trip. Although I've never been that bothered about swimming with dolphins before, the moment we booked it I wouldnt shut up about them. A mile inland, in the pub, or the hostel, for the next 22 hours until we got to go poor ole James had to suffer my endless 'Where are the dolphins? I can't see the dolphins!', I
Patriotism at its best
Our British icons are treated with the utmost respect in New Zealand (its Queen Victoria)got well excited, James got mad (he insists on 'not trusting' the dolphins). However, we met with disappointment as although we got to see about 70 dolphins (the dolphin-ladies estimation - not my own) all swimming around together for some kind of dolphin party, we couldnt swim with them cos there were baby dolphins. Damn babies. It was still awesome though, they were huge and rode right up alongside the boat and stuff, and did jumps and twirls and acrobatics. Yep.
On we went, on and on to Cathedral Cove. It's beautiful. Bright white sand and beautifully blue sea, it's amazingly pretty. Go there. You do a kind of trek up from Hahei beach around to the Cove itself, and because you're so high up you can see out across the sea and over all the islands. A perfect place for a picnic - if you're going, make the time for it. We unfortuneately had to rush off as our bus driver made no qualms about driving off without all the necessary people boarding the bus. We were lucky, others had to chase it down the road. The next day we set off to Rotorua, stopping along the way
to walk the Karangahake gorge. Its a big ole ex-gold mining location and its worth a walk. Right at the end there's a big long tunnel in the dark. James ran off and left me in there on my own in the pitch black cos he though he saw something in the shadows. Such an epitomy of masculinity that boy. We suspect it might have been Gollum that he saw as we were close by to 'Hobbiton'.
That night we ventured into the old school culture of New Zealand at the Tamaki Maori Village. It was alright. Good quality entertainment, but probably over priced for the length of it. I'll do a price list at the end for those who are venturing to New Zealand as none of the leaflets or anything give you prices and its dead annoying. There was a welcoming ceremony of dancing and fire and general warrior like grimacing. Then you got a short trip around an artificial imitation of a Maori village, that was pretty good if short-lived, we were then ushered inside for a few of the traditional tales, and demonstrations of games and dancing. Then onto the all you can eat buffet,
this was good but once again, brief. It was a sort of 'All you can eat but we're taking the plates away soon'.
Right, here comes the more exciting stuff. We spent the next day white water rafting and sledging - James did the rafting, I did the sledging. All things considered, whatever you do, do the rafting. I'll put you onto James for a sec... Hey so rafting. as soon as you've paid, your geared up and given a 5 minute tutorial on how not to drown, then your in the water. All i can really say to describe it is its extremely awsome and i suggest everyone does it. The only truely scary part is when you get to the seven meter waterfall and your guide says 'guys if you fall out stay small and when you can swim for the side of the river and we will save you, but seriously everyone dont fall out'. There was an option to get out and walk at this point but been the only English representative in a boat full of kiwis i went over. It was wet and i swear i drank half the river. After this you
go down several rapids and continue to get wet. However the guys you raft with are awsome and you have a laugh with them. Now claire will tell you about the first of her near death experiances.
Well, as many of you know, I have the attention span of a dead goldfish, and after later discussions with James about my sledging experience I realised that the man on our free Stray guide tour of Auckland had not said 'sledging is awesome', but in fact had said 'If you truly want to scare the shit out of yourself whilst you're in New Zealand, go sledging'. Easy mistake to make. Almost killed me, but what can you do. So, sledging. Sledging involves a big purple float and some rapids, you get on the float, and go down the rapids. Sounds easy doesnt it? Thats why I couldnt understand the rafting instructors going 'So you're hardcore eh?' I was like-'I can swim, I like rivers well enough, I'll be fine...' I wasnt. As you hit the bottom of the rapid you go under, and the sledge gets swept up from underneath you to on top of you, with all this water pounding
down on top of it, and your horizontal on your back underneath it all wondering exactly how your gonna get out, whilst desperately trying to breathe. Its not fun. Its scary. I'm not a pussy, but I wouldnt do it again, ever. James is vouching for me here - he says just watching was terrifying. At the end of it I was really chuffed to have cheated death a few times, and was all ready for driving back, the first van took a load of rafters off, so we were waiting for it to come back, and I'm just beginning to feel normal again when I hear the guide say 'So, whose scared of heights?' I was like, 'What?! why now?! WHY?!' So off he leads us through the security fencing to this ledge way up above the river and throws himself off it. It didnt even matter though, I was pretty sure that if I was gonna die that day I would have died already, qualifying me as invincible for the rest of the day, so off I went. That was brilliant.
So... of we went to Waitomo, strange place, you can go black water rafting, but you
cant buy a bottle of wine. We didnt go black water rafting (saving the money for our skydives etc.) but we did get to see an Angora rabbit being sheared. It's horrific. They strap up its legs, pull them tight so there's no wrinkles and rotate the poor bugger. You can see its little heart going-its terrified. The rotation isnt even equal both sides so it was kind of twisting it round. Awful. They use the ole 'They've been bred for their fur so if we dont shave them four times a year with a massive sheep shearer they'll die' trick, but then continue to breed them, being dependent entirely on commercial sales for profit from the fur. James is getting upset, I shall leave the topic.
James went on a walk to see glow worms that night- here he is: So after claires near death experience, although desiring to see glow worms she was, in her own words 'knacke'd and in pain'. So i went on it with the rest of the group. Not much to tell really the walk was dark and a little dissconcerting as you wander along tiny paths next to huge ledges and rushing
water. This is made worse when your guide 'smilie' has a tendancy to get a wee bit smilie on the ole alchehol. still the worms were cool espically as they glow green (i like green) although once you've seen them once you become not bothered.
And here we are. One of the best days of my life. Skydiving day. I thought I'd be nervous, I thought I wouldnt even want to look out of the plane window but it was amazing. I'd go again right now if I had the choice. From the moment they put me in my jump suit until about three hours after I landed I had a huge fixed grin on my face. The only part thats even mildly intimidating is when you've watched the two guys in front roll out the plane and there's just you shimmying towards the hole. You're attached to the front of someone else - a professional if you will, and so whilst he's sat at the edge of the hole, you're already off it just dangling above these tiny little houses and clouds and everything. Its like looking out of a plane except its freezing cold and really loud.
Then you just tumble out, and for all of 5 seconds I had my eyes shut before reprimanding myself, then you just see the landscape below rolling around beneath you, this way and that. It's phenomenal. The skydiving guy (and might I say what a perfect skydiving pro to be attached to, he was just the right age, height and handsomeness to feel safe being strapped to before diving off a plane. I hadnt thought about it until I met him, but he was perfect for the job, even his eyes were bright blue like the sky) anyway, I had asked the skydiving guy what colour our parachute was beforehand so James would know which one to take pictures of and he was like 'its sort of purple, pinky-purple', halfway down I looked up and saw this bright yellow parachute above me and went 'pinky-purple eh?', he was like 'what do you expect? I'm a man' This is only relevant because of the bizarreness of bantering when you're a few thousand feet up in the air. Thats how perfectly comfortable you feel. Everyone should do it, its an amazing feeling. Luckily I managed to shout James, who had patiently waited
a good few hours for this moment to take a photo for me, and saw the tiny little him scramble quickly towards the camera and get it in time. Anyway, I have indulged in talk about myself for far too long-here's James to finish us off:
Ok so after claires brave leap into oblivion i was feeling suitably left out. Therefore i decided it was time i threw myself off something very high. To do this i decided that it was time for my taupo bungy jump. In fact i should explain that originally i was just going to have alokk and book for the next day as the night before we had a rather heavy night out in celebration of claire learning to fly. Still when i got there the bloke was 'you gonna bungy' i replied 'yes' and before i knew it i was stood on the ledge with nothing but a bit of elasticated bloody string attached to my ankles (gulp). Still been the brave, loud, northern git that i am i flung myself from that ledge full force. the first seconds of the fall were spent contemplating what the hell i was doing and thinking
i hope i dont die or else my mum and dad would kill me. Suddenly as the water seemed to approach at a faster and faster rate i wondered if i would bounce at all and began to scream (A very manly scream, surprisingly), nevertheless i did bounce and it was at this moment i chose to blaspheme, declaring 'JESUS............... CHRIST' at the top of my voice. Once id steadyed myself a rather attractive woman helped me down it was a nice anti climax. So how can i conclude bungy jumping. 1 its not for the faint of heart, 2. its scary, 3. do it now.
PRICE LIST OF THINGS TO BE DONE IN NEW ZEALAND
"Swim with the dolphins"*, Paihia $94 (33 pounds)
Tamaki Moari Village Cultural Experience, Rotorua $74 (26 pounds)
White Water Rafting, Rotorua $89 (31 pounds)
White Water Sledging, Rotorua $99 (35 pounds)
Taupo "Freefall" Skydiving, Taupo $219 (78 pounds) for 12,000 feet drop (no photos or dvd included)
Taupo Bungy, Taupo (49 metres) $99 (35 pounds)
(can get 10% discounts everywhere, keep your eyes peeled for guys giving out magazines at the airport, there's loads in there)
* Can do the Cape
Brett 'Hole in the Rock Cruise' and your guaranteed to see dolphins, but get to see some hole in a rock too, its cheaper, but you dont get the opportunity to swim with them.
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anonymous
non-member comment
You guys are still crazy I see, looked like crazy loco fun.. I am back at work, and guess I should be working, but I really enjoyed your newest adventure.. Claire you are an amazing writer, I am ordering a copy of your adventure-book in advance. Remember to have a little fun for me to.. Thrine