Super South Island

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Tue 29th April 2008

Up at 4:30 am to get to Brisbane airport, ridiculis I tell you, there's just no need, slept at the airport and on the plane, good job really, I needed to survive the hunger as nothing was for free on Jet Star, which doesn't help when you spend your last bit of cash on a packet of crisps at the airport, I'm sure I looked like a right little urchin stood in all my baggy clothes drooling over all the cakes and sarnies in the cabinets before facing facts that I couldn't afford it. Arrived in Christchurch at 2:30pm. Don't know what it is with me and airports but this time I was "randomly" chosen for an EDC or T or something search, in other words searching for explosives, seriously!! Do I really look that dodgey, be honest now (or not as the case may be), I had to be frisked! Got the all clear, I should blooming hope so.

I seem to be having a problem with the whole opening of hostel doors here and in Oz, they don't half like to confuse me. In Oz I had to swipe the card to unlock the door and then I did the obvious (surely) pull the handle down and push, but oh no no, after a matter of many minutes the on-duty receptionist walked by and started miming through the window, turns out I had to push the handle up, pull the door towards me and then push it, what the devil, boy that was hard work, thank goodness someone walked by else I would have been sleeping under the stars that night (come to think of it he could have just opened the door for me and then explained how to do it, cheeky git just watching me struggle)! And then if that wasn't enough I had the same trouble at my first hostel in NZ, this time we had door codes, which I typed in, turned the handle and pushed.......nothing, tried again, this time turning the handle the other way.......nothing, even tried the Oz trick pulling it towards me first...nothing, the annoying thing was I could hear the door unlocking, so close, this time someone let me in, that just meant I had the same trouble next time and there was no way I was gonna ask (I felt blonde enough already), good job really coz this time all you had to do was push, it was the twisting of the handle where my downfall was...come off it, an easy mistake-a to make-a!

Spent the next few days sorting myself out, figuring out how I was gonna take on New Zealand - the Magic Bus (oh I do hope so!) - and running around like a headless chicken trying to find cheap, warm clothes, I was in major climate shock what with the 20 degrees drop in temp to what I was used to, brrrrrh! Was kidding myself on the first day when I thought I could still get away with flip flops, me poor little tootsies were frozen solid they were, if anyone had stepped on 'em they would have just snapped right off!

On my last night in Christchurch on the Friday I went to watch the ruggers, Crusaders vs Sharks, caught the free shuttle bus...what's that I hear you say, free transport, I know, wonders will never cease! I had no idea the Sharks were from South Africa, I gotta start somewhere I suppose. Before the match we had our very own New Zealand celeb George Sewell.....I said New Zealand celeb.... singing a bit of opera and then finishing of with a bit of "You'll Never Walk Alone", hey up thought I was back in England watching a football match for a split second, sang me little heart out I did. Also, get this, they had actual crusaders riding on horseback with those jousting thingys, emerging from their very own makeshift drawbridge cantering around the stadium, blooming marvellous. It rained so bad though, and we even had a near on hail storm just for a slap in the face, it really did hurt. Even with my 5 layers it was so darn cold, I swear I missed half the match from concentrationg on not catching hypothermia. At half time I thought I'd buy a hotdog so's I could have something to warm my hands up, it was a self service counter and I was searching for ages for the hotdogs when I remembered something me buddy Wojey had said, "battered sausage on a stick" and there they were right before my eyes, now these things weren't gonna warm my hands, oh I duno actually, maybe after they add a layer of grease to your hands, but hell I had to try one anyway, I'm not gonna lie, I was disappointed! Final score Crusaders 18, Sharks 10.

Sat 3rd May 2008

Today I got the Magic Bus to Kaikoura where on the way it rained...it rained some more.....and it rained again, which meant due to rough seas all animal encounters were cancelled so no whales or dolphins for me today, boo! Drive did take us to see some seals before dropping us at our hostel though, wow they were big mamas, obviously didn't like to be disturbed mind as as we all lined up to take a picture one fiesty beast shows us his nashers and charged, was hilarious to see all these backpackers scarper in every way which direction (this was just after the bus driver told us they can take a limb), hey and these seals can't half launch themselves on land, who said flippers were only an adaptation for swimming.

Sun 4th May 2008

Darn it, I knew I overheard the words "boat cancelled this morning", this did not bode well for my dolphin swim, but, how so, I ask, the sun was shining with not a cloud in the sky....well apparently that don't mean nowt where the sea is concerned, still to rough to go gallivanting with dolphins, my trip was cancelled too! Oh codswallop what the devil does that mean I can do for the day....not a lot is the answer, I hate to speak such words in such a glorious place but I was bored. Walked up and down the street a few times (yep there's just one), looked in a couple shops, returned to the surf shop to buy myself a bobble hat (yes it really does have a bobble on top, it's o'neill though which obviously makes it cool enough to wear, oh I'm so shallow!), and seeing as I'm really not a hat person, or a decision making person come to think of it, this killed a lot of time just staring into a shop mirror. Ended up watching a couple of films at the hostel, one being the Pink Panther with Steve Martin, which I have to say made me cry with laughter, now due to my vulnerable state of boredom I'm really not quite sure how funny the film actually was but it seemed to do the trick (I think that may just be an excuse for my oh so easily pleased sense of humour).

Mon 5th May 2008

Off to Nelson today, recorded most number of hours sunshine in NZ, w-hoo, and lo and behold when we got there it was indeed sunny. Had a few stops on the way to see another fur seal colony, some kodac moment scenery stops and we stopped at a winery for free tasting, note for future reference I like Savignon blanc or pinot blanc and if the occassion should ever call for a red wine, a pinot noir, ooh I feel more sophisticated already. Free brekkie and evening soup at the hostel, incentive enough for anyone to stay there me thinks.

Tue 6th May 2008

Went to Abel Tasman National Park today for a half day kayak and half day hike. Had to leave at 7:10, any dream of a lie-in for the next few weeks is in the distance one thinks. Kayaked for about 12km, boy oh boy it's hard work, saw some seals on the way which the instructor decided to provoke with his paddle to try and make it jump in to swim, it worked but I don't think the seal was too happy, kept showing us his pearly whites, guessing that's a warming rather than a smile. Saw a piece of driftwood, man that was one scary piece of driftwood, could be likened rather too well to a sharks fin. Also went into a little cave which started off an emerald green colour then went decidedly pitch black, which is off course, for those of you who have seen it, when the film "The Descent" came flooding back to mind, quick, reverse, reverse! Stopped at Te Pukatea Bay for lunch where I got an upgraded meal compared to the other 4 guys, a big old chicken and cheese roll with every bit of salad under the sun and some yellow sauce (I'm sure that's what they put in Maccie D burgers, I must find out what that is), and the biggest muffin ever, no really, it was bigger than my face, I was stuffed but content ready to go hiking. Now in my nice, dry, warm clothes I trotted off on my hour and a half trek (or supposedly), had to be at the north end of Torrent Bay at 3:15 to catch the water taxi and is that what happened, hell no, was now 1:30, just got off Anchorage Bay, which might I add was a good setting for T-rex to just burst out of the trees, took the high tide route to Torrent Bay around the cliffs as I'm sure that's what the instructor said to do, gets to 3 o' clock and I'm still nowhere near according to the map. Well then there's nothing for it, I gotta start running, so my nice leisurely walk turns into a running sprint. At this point the film the "Wrong Turn" pops into my head and the story of ancient maori eating human tongue, so no doubt this helped quicken my pace. 3:15 comes and I'm still not there darn it, onwards and upwards, worryingly there are only signs to Bark Bay left now, a little confusing to say the least, I gotta stick to my guns though (I'm still running by the way). 3:25 comes and I burst out onto the sands of North Torrent Bay, thank God for that, my group are nowhere to be seen mind but that's ok I jumped on with another group who gave me a cookie, bonus, close shave mind, that was the last taxi of the day. Thankfully the aquataxi driver was also my bus driver so there was no way the bus was leaving without me (I hoped). Went to collect my stuff when I got back and nobody seemed worried in the slightest, charming! Got back to the hostel just in time for free soup, I get my bowl and bread ready, I go to scoop out the soup but find the ladle goes a long way down the pot without hitting the good stuff, I look into the pot to scoop it out but would you believe it nothing was left but the dreggs at the bottom, gutted, beggers can't be choosers mind, I managed to scrape out maybe 4 tablespoons worth, felt like Oliver Twist I did. Was the only one in my room that night, amazing, had the best night's sleep, b-e-a-u-tiful!

Wed 7th May 2008

Had a fair old trek to Greymouth today with many a stop for those all important kodac moments - Buller Gorge, more seals, Punakaiki Pancake Rocks and a stroll down the Truman Track to see the coastline up close. The waves were humongous, a few of us went down onto the beach and soon realised how high the risk of getting wet was as some of the waves came right up to the back cliff wall, hmmmm not such a great idea. I was keeping a close eye on those waves that's for sure, and let me tell you, as soon as I saw a potential bigger than average wave heading our way I scarpered right on back to the steps for safety obviously with a hop and a skip in the midst of it all so as not to look too much like a pansy if it turned out to be a poxy wave that my imagination let get out of control. Turned out it was a big wave that headed right on up the beach, phew, now I just look clever (I hope). Stayed in Noah's Ark hostel where each room has a delightful animal theme - I was placed in the sheep room, baa! Decided to take part in the Monteith's Brewery tour. Now you may ask why a person who doesn't actually drink beer would take part in such a thing.......why to find a beer she likes of course, and it so worked, may I introduce Monteith's Radler (with a hint of lemon and lime), and get this, you can get it in the UK in Waitrose, score! Firstly we had a tour of the brewery and then came the taster session when we got to taste an array of 8 Monteith's beers, blooming marvellous. Then came the delux pour your own all you can drink n 15 minutes session, absolute mayhem, there was just one long, continuous, circular line, typical British! Then to top the evening we had an all you can eat BBQ which turned out to be only sausages wrapped in a piece of bread if so desired, bit of a let down but hey the free pint of your choice made up for it. I managed 3 sausages, not a smidgen on the record of 36 sausages, bread n all, apparently he was only a dinky Japanese chap, wonders will never cease! As the night went on my feet were getting more and more jiggy with the music so in the end someone put me out of my misery and danced to cotton eyed joe with me, the only cheesy song of the night, think he was more enthusiastic than me mind, he literally launched me off the dance floor, my feet barely touched it, slightly scary!

Thur 8th May 2008

Feeling slightly fragile on the way to Franz Josef, which didn't help matters when I had to put a lot of brain power into choosing a new camera. Yep, that's right, mine conked out on me and there was no way I was gong the rest of the trip using disposables, hell no! So ended up splashing out $300 for a little kodac number. Had about 40 minutes to choose before the bus left and I'm really not a quick decision maker, the pressure was on big style, made it back on the bus with 2 minutes to spare, phew, he had assured us he would indeed leave without people if they weren't back on time, a little harsh. Had just one stop in Ross to see the gold panning and also the potential for a possum pie (what, I gotta try these things), darn Kiwi Experience bus, our arch enemy, got in there before us and bought them all, rude. In the evening me and a couple other girls took ourselves on a half hour glow worm walk. Oh-My-Gawd! It was terryfying! Had to walk down a pitch black pathway through the woods, all we had was a wind up torch that kept getting dim every few minutes so I had to make a rackett winding it back up, even made me jump and I knew when it was coming, man we were on tenterhooks. I really think I've watched far too many scary movies, it looked like we were doing our own rendition of the Balir Witch Project. So, walking along the pathway, hearts racing, it's raining as well by the way, and we come across a fallen tree in our pathway, da da daaa! Now you wouldn't think it but boy that was creepy, it was like it was a sign to go no further which I would gladly have agreed to but the other girls stepped right on over so of course I had to follow, couldn't let the team down (plus there was no way I was going back on my own). Lets just say there was a distinct lack of conversation on this walk. We made it to the end to see the glow worms which were pretty spectacular. Turned out the torch to see them in all there glory, not for long mind, I got the fear again. Looked back up the pathway to see what I thought was more torches headed this way, that was scary in itself, was it more backpackers which would have been comforting or strangers in the dark! As we headed back the lights disappeared, Gordon Bennett, so scared, but we soon came to realise that the so called torches were in fact street lights from the town that would come and go depending on what corner we were at, stupid! Finally, after what seemed like forever, we emerged back out on to the street.......and breathe! After this we needed a bit of lighthearted fun which would you believe, as dodgey as it sounds, we got from the public toilets, they were fabulous, everything was automatic and they actually talk to you and play you music, "what the world needs now is love, sweet love". You only get 10 minutes mind so not the place to be with a dodgey stomach, I'm guessing the door just opens to reveal all to the world when your time's up. They were great - automatic door, automatic toilet paper dispenser and an automatic flush only when you wash your hands in the automatic sink, by george what an invention! Small things.......... At half three in the morning we were rudely awoken by a town alarm! After initially believing it to be my alarm clock I honestly thought I'd been transported back in time to World War II and there was about to be an air raid! Must have gone on for about 10 minutes at the least, nobody moved a muscle mind, it was one of those scenarios where it was a do we don't we moment. We went for don't we and stayed in bed contemplating what it might be for instead, flash floods, forest fire, I was still convinced we'd gone back in time. There didn't seem to be a mass of people charging about the town so we figured we'd just follow the crowds and stay in bed. Turns out we would have looked a bit silly if we had ventured outside as it was an alarm for the local, voluntary firemen, apparently they have pagers too so what's with the alarm is beyond me!

Fri 9th May 2008

Full day galcier walk on Franz Josef, fan-bloomin-tastic! Drizzled for the first part of the day then the clouds parted to let some sunshine through. They kit you out in all the gear, I had the smallest pair of boots going, my feet are size zero, padded out with extra socks. We got dropped off at the car park and had an hour hike just to get to the bottom of the galcier, it's such a gert big thing that it deceivingly only looks five minutes away. We split into 4 groups of 9, 1 being the hardcore fast group and 4 being the leisurely strollers, I thought I'd pace it a little and go in group 2, turns out we caught group 1 up anyhows, woo go group 2, rock on! Was an adventurous day climbing through tunnels, going in ice caves and walking (or should I say shuffling) through narrow crevices. One girl actually fell in a 4m deep glacier pool, she was bending over to feel the water and whoosh, head first into the pool, all I heard was a scream and the guide running real fast somewhere, uh-oh! How gutted was she, had to strip off on the ice and borrow clothes from here and there, doh, wouldn't catch me doing a thing like that!! Really strange concept having to get your brain around the idea of walking on ice and not slipping (well most of the time anyway), you must trust the cramp-ons! Was a bit hairy scary at times and it definately aint easy on all the titches, some of the steps were bigger than me! By the time we got back to the bottom after a good 7 hours clambering around on the ice and then did that hour walk back to the bus (oh yeah forgot about that bugger) everyone was absolutley bushwacked! Most of us went to bed and passed out by 9 o' clock, rock on you party animal you!

Super South Island to be continued.................................................................................................................................................

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Photos

Franz Josef
Look at all the wee people...no not me!

Franz Josef
The sun came out, yipee!

Franz Josef
The long hike back!