New Zealand

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For completeness:

Arrangements/Logistics for our arrival in New Zealand rivalling those for a space shuttle lift-off worked smooth as an egg - unlike some of the lift-offs. We picked up the key and car of my sister Elaine who'd left them in Christchurch airport while she went to her boyfriend fireman's graduation ceremony in Welligton expecting us to pick her up 2 days later. With 2 days to fill in New Zealand style we did what we hadn't been able to do for about 8 months - drank wine. Stopping only for a "driver reviver" - a free cup of coffee in a petrol station that they won't give you a lid for so you have to break from driving to drink it - we drove in darknes up the east coast to the Marlborough region through what we knew was invisible fantastic scenery, but also knew would still be there on our way back down. Accomodation was in short supply. I accidentally insulted the owner of a newly face-lifted motel by asking for a room at backpacker rates, prompting a typically no shit kiwi "Does this look like a $50 a night joint to you, go and pitch your tent in a field ya waster" response. We got the last places in a hostel where it turned out we were the only people who didn't go off to work picking grapes the following morning. We cycled around vineyards for the day, starting with the famous Cloudy Bay, but with lines like "I'm getting passion fruit" and "that's got great complexity" not rolling off our rusty palates, combined with Bla's regular disappearances to the toilet to service an upset stomach, there were a few awkward moments where I could offer little more by way of comment than "That's Lovely".

A few bottles of white heavier we retraced our tyre marks back down said, and truly spectacular, scenery viewing some popular and therefore retiring seals in Kaikora. I refuse to use the cliched word "stunning" to describe the landscape for fear of furthering the word's overuse and threatening its sustainable existance in my vocabulary. I think I've been infected with NZ's obsession with sustainable existance. But the scenery was sublime and was in NZ in general, so for the sake of all involved I won't constantly repeat that - take it for granted and hopefully see it in the pics. We closed our mini-loop by collecting Elaine and her reputedly long hosed and shiny helmeted virginal fireman - Alec. South we headed with a heavy Stuart influence on the plans - i.e. loose and adventurous (I'm talking about the plans mainly), which with alot of luck all worked out in the end. First we were flown in stormy weather in an 8 seater plane to Stewart island - next stop Antartica - and dropped mission impossible style on a remote beach to hike our way back from, carrying supplies and sleeping bags over 2 days. My new walking shoes soon revealed how water proof they weren't as we ploughed through hard conditions on a sodden track, out onto a beach, got split up and found ourselves and eventually found our night's lodgings. The hut was full of excited and varyingly successful kiwi spotters telling stories of sightings. We had none but did have a bottle of whiskey so told other stories. Next day we crept around hot kiwi spotting spots but it seemed we were late and they'd already fulfilled their daily appearance quota and knocked off. After 4 hours of walking a speed boat plucked us from an appointed spot and dragged us across low tide shallows to the island's only town whose only pub had just lost its license. Some hoodwinkery procured 2 bottles of wine and great "fush and chups" - as they say in their vowel substituting bastardisation version of their queen's lingo, (i turns to u, e turns to i, a turns to e) - enough fuel for a game of scrabble in front of a fire in a holiday home we'd rented for the night overlooking the wintry harbour. Next morning's mission was to hunt and gather cod on the high seas, which were particularly high leaving us clinging to the coast and the sides of the boat as we caught enough to feed us for 3 days plus. We landed cod and "trumpetter" and some ugly specimens the boatmen called "Neighbors fish" - you take them over and give them to your neighbor! The 4 of us bummed 2 lifts from the ferry port in Bluff to Invercargill, Elaine's present town of abode and employment. A quick taking of stock and showers and onward to Milford Sound. We arrived next morning with hundreds of waterfalls and rivers pumping as a storm blew and our early morning Kayaking got cancelled. We took refuge in a lodge, heavily but naturally fortressed Miford Sound being no Haven. With Stuart good luck, the afternoon was calm and we got to kayak around the sound with all its features turned on and impressive in dwarfing immensity. That night we met a guy called Dave from Hawaii driving an "Ezy Rentals" camper the same as we were to pick up the day after he was to drop his off - more on that seemingly irrelevant fact later. Next day Alec dropped myself, Bla and Elaine off to attack the 2 day "Routeburn" walk with threatened snow and gales passing over as we overnighted in a hut. These trails and huts are a great triumph of man engineering nature to allow man enjoy nature with minimal disturbance to it - very sustainable. Elaine's knowledge of the flora, fauna and facilities added alot to the hikes/trecks/walks/tramps/hillwalks/bushwalks/whatever you call that brand of transport between strolling and mountaineering. Picked up at the far side by Alec we headed for Queenstown and Alec's apartment/storage room. No rest for the knackered naturally, myself and the 2 delicious pies I'd grabbed and gobbled were thrown into the river Alec used to to work on as a river board guide for a complimentary pummelling and river water swallowing in 5km of rapids on a boogie board, culminating with a 12m jump into the river, a big swing and a banana boat style towing by a jetski. After a week like that a night on the town and a weekend relaxing around Queenstown was the perfect remedial treatment - having come to visit my skin and blister my feet were now skinned and blistered! I had discovered the wonders of wearing sanitary towels though - attached with strapping to my feet they afforded great blister relief!

On our own once Alec and Elaine has returned to their works we picked up our camper van complete with the message "Dave from Hawaii says HI" written on the cutlery box. Having warmed up our wine tasting jargon in Marlborough, we headed for the local vineyards and liberally imparted it to all who would give us free tastings. We camped out of site and sight on Lake Wanaka and completely against regulations made ourelves a fire. We spent the net few hours trying to control it and then extinquishing it as it's scorchmark had fanned out further than intended. We slipped straight back into camper van mode 8 months after leaving ours in Montenegro and found great places to camp and wined and dined ourselves very well for a week. In Wanaka we cycled, and got lost in the Puzle worlds maze where the young had fun and the adults gradually were reduced to panicked survival mode as the exit proved elusive - we ducked out the emergency exit followed by 2 old guys we'd bumped into about 20 times on our quest for freedom. We left head wrecked and got ourselves to Fox Glacier land and spent a day walking on it in crampons. Obviously I asked which came first the sweet or the glacier, the guide wasn't familiar with the sweet. We visitted Monthiet's brewery in Greymouth where they brew with traditional small scale methods producing some interesting brews and after left with renewed home brewing ambition. I swam in the sea near there next daybreak and came back with frozen muscles and 1.5 kilos of monster mussels, which were that evening to prove the best we've ever eaten. We quadbiked in Westport - a dangerous petrol head outing tempered by Bla falling of, driving into a bush, going the wrong way and getting stuck in the mud. We tackled the lower half of the Abel Tasman great walk by being water taxid up and tramping back in sunshine past beautiful bays, beaches and "batches" - holiday homes some lucky kiwis had owned before the area was made national park that are now worth millions - on a dry path with a light bag. It felt like luxurious childsplay compared with the rigours of previous tests. The last 2 days we relaxed in Hamner springs thermal spas, tasted a few more wines around Christchurch, dropped back the van and slept in the airport before our 6.45 am departure.

After having spent months in Asia haggling and shopping around every day to knock a euro off a 4 euro nights accomodation or a few cents off a pineapple, suddenly spending 50 euros on a 2 hour trip took some adjusting to, but it was a good acclimatisation exercise for the return to ROI. I left NZ with a longing to live in nature instead of a city as they really roll out the green carpet there and live in the outdoors, and life seems good. The average kiwi seemed to have 3 bikes - 1 for roads, 1 for going up and down hills and 1 just for going down hills - a surfboard, a good pair of hiking boots and a good knowledge of the country's immaculately presented natural amenities. They seem hardy - a guide on the river boarding trip with a chipped ankle being told to toughen up, and they're straight talking too woth signs like "For sale, Horse poo - $5 a bag". The reknowned adrenaline junkiness seems to have infected the animal population with the posoms particularly fond of "dodge the vehicle" but often failing fatally to achieve the aim of the game and becoming raod kill statistics.

Hopefully I'll be back to see the North Island. Thanks to Elaine and Alec for showing us around!

The trip back to Bangkok was arduous with 4 stops and sleeping on christchurch airport floor beecause we were flying so early and then Bangkok airport floor because we arrived so late. Our bag got left behind in Sydney, but the 200 singapore dollras they gave us will keep us in the Bangkok highlife for our 3 days here.

So that's it folks, our year's adventures have drawn to a close. All we have to do now is take a flight home and reshape our lives - a whole new adventure!

Obviously I wrote that a while ago and the fact that it has taken so long to publish indicates the hectic life I've fallen straight back into. It was great ..... maybe again in other 10 years....

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