So What's it like being home?

---

---

Since I walked out of the Auckland International Airport at mid-day on the 10th I have felt like a "bag of jelly"!

It's hard to describe really. Yes I have returned from a real adventure and so there is bound to be a period of uncertainty. Some parts of that adventure were very challenging, some parts were exhilirating while some parts were just plain boring. A real mix of emotions.

I just can't seem to get enough sleep. Afternoon Nanna naps are standard, early to bed is a welcome relief and it's anybody's guess when I will wake up and be ready to go. Maybe that's jet lag is some shape or other.

Where do I belong? Where is "home"? What do I do now? Have I got enough funds to get me through? Do I go there or stay here or perhaps over there to something new.

While in Auckland I caught up with a very dear longtime friend. That was extra special after 8 months away. But as a single man some relationships are not appropriate and can be viewed as threatening by others. No, I'm not talking about any sort of relationship that would be regarded as beyond any unsavoury boundries. This was a friendship and that's all. So out of respect to them and their family we said goodbye. This will hurt but it's right thing to do.

It was great to be met by my Mum & Dad at the Nelson Airport and to have a catch up with them.

McLarens Bay (home base) was just the same and a real relief to finally make it, slow down, have a drink before dinnersit down and watch the news..

I felt restless and disconnected from my environment.

Have contacted my employer in the USA and said to Honey that I am interested in returning to the USA next year and have suggested to her that I would be interested in getting involved in some logistic activities and perhaps some management tasks. If that doesn't come together then it's onto plan B

Perhaps I should I travel to Australia and look for a job there? The idea feels just a little too big right now.

I am now in Christchurch to pick up Monty from Penny and Chris. He is sooo settled with their family so I have suggested to Penny that her and Chris consider adopting him. They are keen to do that.

Needed to meet with Mary-Anne while I was here to finally close the book on our marriage. While I was travelling I missed her so much. So we met for a coffee and the person who joined me was a total stranger to me. The person I had coffee with was not the person I married, the person who was my very best friend in the world, the person whom I shared some real trials raising our 6 daughters together and enjoyed some wonderful times over the past 12 years. I realised that the person I missed was the memory. So this part of my life is over.

As Anne Young (My Psychiatrist) put it "Life is a series of short stories even if we persist on believing they are chapters in a novel". This short storey has ended and not all stories have happy endings. Some have sad endings. Some have tragic endings. I'm sure that over time the ending to this short storey will look less like a sad ending and present itself as an introduction to a new and exciting adventure.

Tonight I meet up with Becky and Stephie (2 of my step daughters) to give them and Pippa's presents. I'm looking forward to seeing them and comparing travel tales. Maybe Pippa will join us one day in the future but not right now.

Tomorrow my nephew, Tim, and I head north to Nelson with Monty and then down to McLarens Bay for Christmas. I pick middle daughter Meg off the Inter Islander on Christmas Eve which will be a blast. I think we will have heaps to talk about.

So what's it like being home?

Time will tell where home is no doubt. Time will tell.

---

Comments

[Sue Harte]

Hi Nigel - I know that 'where is home' feeling, and you know the bay is a really good temporary one - good for the soul, stunning wherever you look and it has that light and air you can only get in NZ. You know, home is wherever you feel happy and loved, and that can be different geographical places - when I am here I still talk about NZ and Nelson as home, when I am there I talk about London as home too, as my children are here. Enjoy your time at home, keep going on your adventures, they are good for you and and they stretch your mind. Don't forget there is always room at the inn in London if you make it this far, love from your cousin Suzanne xx

[Nigel Harte]

How big is the world, really?
Hi Sue, thanks for those comments. They are helpful indeed. I am free to go anywhere so I'm more of the mind not to stay in NZ but to keep going as you say. Yes, McLarens is a santuary but it's not where I want to live. It's too remote for me. Have a great Christmas and a when I make it that far I will definitly come and catch up with you. Kind Regards Nigel