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Published: November 17th 2008
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Well well well, where to begin... Has been a while since i did this so i apologise in advance if i miss bits. Essentially New Zealand is turning me into an adrenaline junkie nutter who likes to wander aimlessly one day, take proper scenery mature photos the next an then nearly kill herself just to top it all off... I shall explain, ,tho parts may not make sense, as erm they kinda just DON"T, neither at the time nor now, on reflection!
So, after Tongariro it was gonna take a LOT to impress me further... Then i got to Abel Tasmin! Sunniest part of New Zealand, and not wantin to let daon, the sune shone like a shiny shiny thing! It was stunning... Beachers reachin out for ages, small teeny bays with no one on them or having been all day, lovely woodland wlaks an chats, AMAzing colours of greens, blues and yellos sands, and unfortunately SANDFLIES! I HATE THEM ALL!!! AARRRGGHH!
Took a long wander wi some crazy europeans from the stray bus, wished i had longer to stay on here for, then headed via the home of "the one ring" which was shut, like the WHIOLE town
was shut! I love New Zealand! It is a Sunday after all... essentially nelson is like the hippy heaven of anyplace, all floaty skirts, funny-smellin ciggies, hmmm what could that be, me wonders... 😉 an well chilled out cool an groovy dreddy chatty folks. Come on now, anything better in life?! could've stayed there for a good wee while! Did manage to see a pic of the one ring at the place where it was locked away, then headed to barrytown an the chaos that is a bus full of nutter backpackers, booze an a GIANT dress up box in the middle of nowehere!
Fab night, Ben dressed me as bob the builder, tres sexy!, an i dressed him as a nurse... think i lucked out in the end, miracle no one was arrested really! Numerous drinks, crazy dances, fuzzy heads an laughs later an its off to meet the fab bone-carvin dudes over the raod the next day! What a riot!
Was a bit, um, "this used to be a livin an breathin and walkin around thing" for a while, then found out ya got to play wi big sandin an cuttin machines an there was NO
stoppin me! It was well cool! Just like being in techie class in school, even had to wait in line to show the guys what we'd done so they could take it off us an fix it, just like Mr Pearson! (Thanks by the way dude, i needed that credit pass!)
Met a FAB gal there who's startin up woofin next year an TOTALLY invited me to go to hers to do iut there! get in! Bone-destroyin, sorry, carvin one mintue, chattin an grioovin to fat freddy's drop an salmonella dub the next (whilst being mature and sensible around big scary machines, of course! 😉) an then a job offer the next! Sweet as, bro!
Was actuuallt SERIOUSLY surp[rised by how decent the bone thingies looked when they were finsihed, seriouslty, you'd think we bought them! They all looked wicked! Mine was a two tone number, but that went away ( keep forgettin to take it off an now its all one colour, altho yer supposed to do that cos as it stays onyer skin it gets all the nutrients from yer skin an the maoris reckon it becomes part of you an therefore your story, so ya should
cherish it. I LOVE that stuff!)
Headed off to the Franz Josef Glacier next. OH MY GOD! IT is BEAUTIFUL! Signed up for the glacier hike, grabbed a group chilli in the HOTTEST HOSTEL KITCHEN EVER! Seriously, i thought my head was gonna explode! Then had a weel earnt snooze in the comfy dorm... Enjoyn the group comfort of knowin all the folk in yer room, its funhaing out like yer on a school trip! Sometimes ya gotta kinda breal away an do yer own thing, but that's the whole point really... Stray's been a fun experience, but i do get kinda alon timey now. Guess i'm becomin a real adult after all!
Of course, that said the group thing got better an better... The glacier hike wss quite full on: spent ALL day up the glacier, an couldn't help but think of dad as i put crmpons on for the first time... Was tough nopt to freak out actually, but after a wee practise an the knowledge that at leat the guides knew what they were doing, off we went...
Ok, sio dud NOT factor the whole "don't go off the paths ya see us cut,
or ya may fall into a crevace MILES deep that we cannae get ya back out of" speech just to reassure us! MILES?! EH?! Yep, so the whole "ooh. glacier guiding - bet that;s a fun job" thoughts lasted 10minutes when we actually realised that they have to CUT THE PATH YA FOLLOW OUT OF ICE! Its like a full on walkin on a 6km long an miles high glacier vibe, man! It was so much fun!
I got the big time scares twice, once when i realised that i am in fact the clumsiest bunny in clumsybunnytown an nearly fell down a BIG feckin hole, whilst flailin the ice axe an nearly choppin off my own leg - NOT a wise plan, Em! oh yeah an the other time was proper fear: when Juliet - the fab guide - decided to take us thru the SMALLLEST ice cave in the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD! I shit you not! My god, the cavin was a peice of cake in comparison! Really, tonnes of ice above ya an yer in a place the size of HALF of you! Freakin freaky freaky tiimes! It took all my energy to actually get thru
in what seemed like ages, an my god, as much as it was the BLUEST ice i have ever seen, i was SO glad to get over to the other side that when i heard the start of Juliet's "Erm, sorry folks but the path's caved in! Back we go..." i just assumed it was a joke...
"Er, what?! I am NOT gettin back in that smaller than a hobbit sized hole in a squagillion tonnes of ice! Seriously, leave me here, i'll be one o those abominable snow dudes an hang here, no no no no no!" I thought, "oh pishin pish!" i said, and back onto the hands and knees, head a bit spinny, an heart in mouth... This time, of course, i had a proper berky when the dudes in front stopped for photos. Are they freakin kiddin?! Essentially it was not my finest communication moment as i " get the bleepedy bleep out the way, this is bleepin freakin the bleepy bleep outta me!" ed out my slight discomfort at bein stuck i the ice again...
Phew! So, once i got thru that i became superwoman an that's when i nearly feel thru the mile
thick ice to my doom, but apart form that it was like one of the best days EVER! I've done ice climbin, and i'm still alive! Who'd've thunk it, eh?!
Gort back an had a few libations n the pub, lost at bingo, got chatted up by a stary buis driver, hee hee, nice try, ya big eejit, being my my printable response, then off to bed to dream of ice-covered places, an me NOT being stuck in a small hole in them! GOOD DAY!
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